Jack Monroe #37 Don't f*** with cats.

[JoyceDivision]

Sorry, this is totally off-topic but I just wanted to share as an antidote to Monroe's nefarious antics. I am moving house tomorrow so I just called in on my vendors to say hi (my buyers did the same and I appreciated the friendliness). Anyway, they were the nicest people. They've been in the house for 45 years so it's emotional for them but they are really excited about their new place. They're leaving me house plants, a bag of coal and a good luck money tree, plus a Christmas cactus that has been in the house for as long as they have. They gave me the lowdown on all the neighbours and talked me around the back garden. I've got bloody fruit trees, how fancy am I?

When I first viewed the place, my first impression was that it had been really loved, and a place of love; I made an offer on the spot. I told them that, and we all got a bit emotional. Swapped numbers, talked about people we know in common, offered to help each other out in future.

I've been getting so strung out about moving but now I'm excited and so heartened to be on the receiving end of real kindness.

Sorry for the gushing. I'm a bit giddy!

Well this is just delightful

I hope moving goes smoothly for you!

 

[Badlyplatedflapjacks]

You forget how long Girls Aloud have been around. I had some of those bad boys in green but my mistake was not co-ordinating the top to match.

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

At one point I taught in high schools. Y9 boys would think it was perfectly acceptable to walk into the classroom drenching themselves in Lynx body spray. It was to “save” having a shower after PE

My OH still gets Lynx bought for him by his grandparents every Christmas bless them (he's 32 ) he has it in his sports bag for when he plays football, I complain that he smells like a teenage boy every time he walks through the door after playing, so much nostalgia!

 

[choccydigestive]

View attachment 170273

Do you know what, if she’s still reading here (100%) then Jack, just take the bloody week off. I’m sure you’re tired. Just do it. Set an auto email to say you’re having a bit of time off and will return to your desk on X date and that you’ll get back to them after that and not before because your assistant is furloughed. Everyone’s work is every which way at the moment, so any prospective client will understand. And if they check your social media they can see you’re on a break too. Just bleeping do it. The world won’t end. Your son will love to have a week off with you and if he’s at his dads part of the time then that’s great too, you can read and lie out in the garden and have long baths. Have a life.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Amazing @PennyLoafer!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

20 pages to get through! I dread to think what lies ahead, it's like reading a thriller every time.

Is it the cat, is she being 'too woke' (her words, never ours) with her hard hitting political analysis and bumlicking of the Goves? I'm about to find out...

 

[Jelly Bean]

View attachment 170118

I don't mean to be impatient, but *checks calendar* where is the NEWS?

She was like this after DKL, 'laughing up a lung' in expectation of a renewed series, and lots of vague hints including doing up the shed because she thought a series was forthcoming, putting 'presenter' on her Twitter bio.
I think the problem is as she states - the wonderful team - in both cases the team she worked with have no doubt been unfailingly patient and polite throughout. I imagine in response to her eager 'so we'll be doing this again?' they non committaly said something like 'er yes'. Add her sycophantic fans and she comes away choosing to believe she did a good job. Whether she *actually* believes that - but there is probably a large part of faking it til you make ie she keeps saying it went well to convince everyone including herself thus rewriting history (well there's a surprise )
I can't imagine people wanting to work with her repeatedly, not even This Morning after Eamon's undisguised impatience and derision, as they get dragged into her drama (Hellman's BLM, DKL well where do you begin but Ruby Tandoh's being rude to Matt springs to mind), plus they have to tiptoe around her because of her MH and constantly saying how stressed she is, so I doubt they can be truly honest with her or give her truthful feedback.
I bet for Hellman's and DKL it was a case both times of marking time until her stint finished, fobbing her off and then resolving never ever to work with her again.

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Sorry, this is totally off-topic but I just wanted to share as an antidote to Monroe's nefarious antics. I am moving house tomorrow so I just called in on my vendors to say hi (my buyers did the same and I appreciated the friendliness). Anyway, they were the nicest people. They've been in the house for 45 years so it's emotional for them but they are really excited about their new place. They're leaving me house plants, a bag of coal and a good luck money tree, plus a Christmas cactus that has been in the house for as long as they have. They gave me the lowdown on all the neighbours and talked me around the back garden. I've got bloody fruit trees, how fancy am I?

When I first viewed the place, my first impression was that it had been really loved, and a place of love; I made an offer on the spot. I told them that, and we all got a bit emotional. Swapped numbers, talked about people we know in common, offered to help each other out in future.

I've been getting so strung out about moving but now I'm excited and so heartened to be on the receiving end of real kindness.

Sorry for the gushing. I'm a bit giddy!

So happy for you @PennyLoafer and it must be so lovely to move to a place that has so clearly been full of love!

 

[Blurp]

I just got my first pair at age 35!!! Not been wearing them though as "I don't want to wear them out". Someone slap some sense into me!!

I've got a growing collection of DMs. Thanks to osteoarthritis, I've had my main joint on my right big toe fused and the one on the left foot is dodgy. I was originally told that I would hirple thanks to the bones being fused flat, but I got sent elsewhere for the operation and got a big burly surgeon (who looked like a rugby-playing farmer) who said "Nonsense! I always give my ladies an angle so they can at least wear slight heels!". So I don't hirple but do pivot on the fused joint of bone which means I need a good padded sole. Soooooo, I thought "if I have to wear granny shoes, they're going to be the funkiest granny shoes out" and started my DM and FitFlop (slides, courts, boots and slippers) collection. Through the colder months, people at work are always looking to see which pair I've got on.i think the black with luminous glow in the dark soles and skeleton foot decoration are my favourite.

 

[choccydigestive]

Sorry, this is totally off-topic but I just wanted to share as an antidote to Monroe's nefarious antics. I am moving house tomorrow so I just called in on my vendors to say hi (my buyers did the same and I appreciated the friendliness). Anyway, they were the nicest people. They've been in the house for 45 years so it's emotional for them but they are really excited about their new place. They're leaving me house plants, a bag of coal and a good luck money tree, plus a Christmas cactus that has been in the house for as long as they have. They gave me the lowdown on all the neighbours and talked me around the back garden. I've got bloody fruit trees, how fancy am I?

When I first viewed the place, my first impression was that it had been really loved, and a place of love; I made an offer on the spot. I told them that, and we all got a bit emotional. Swapped numbers, talked about people we know in common, offered to help each other out in future.

I've been getting so strung out about moving but now I'm excited and so heartened to be on the receiving end of real kindness.

Sorry for the gushing. I'm a bit giddy!

That is so lovely! How exciting! Best of luck, unpack the kettle first

 

[AmTellinYa]

Sorry, this is totally off-topic but I just wanted to share as an antidote to Monroe's nefarious antics. I am moving house tomorrow so I just called in on my vendors to say hi (my buyers did the same and I appreciated the friendliness). Anyway, they were the nicest people. They've been in the house for 45 years so it's emotional for them but they are really excited about their new place. They're leaving me house plants, a bag of coal and a good luck money tree, plus a Christmas cactus that has been in the house for as long as they have. They gave me the lowdown on all the neighbours and talked me around the back garden. I've got bloody fruit trees, how fancy am I?

When I first viewed the place, my first impression was that it had been really loved, and a place of love; I made an offer on the spot. I told them that, and we all got a bit emotional. Swapped numbers, talked about people we know in common, offered to help each other out in future.

I've been getting so strung out about moving but now I'm excited and so heartened to be on the receiving end of real kindness.

Sorry for the gushing. I'm a bit giddy!

Reading this just gave a lovely warm feeling. I hope the move goes smoothly and that you'll be incredibly happy in your new home, it sounds wonderful xx

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

I've got a growing collection of DMs. Thanks to osteoarthritis, I've had my main joint on my right big toe fused and the one on the left foot is dodgy. I was originally told that I would hirple thanks to the bones being fused flat, but I got sent elsewhere for the operation and got a big burly surgeon (who looked like a rugby playing farmer) who said "Nonsense! I always give my ladies an angle so they can at least wear slight heels!". So I don't hirple but do pivot on the fused joint of bone which means I need a good padded sole. Soooooo, I thought "if I have to wear granny shoes, they're going to be the funkiest granny shoes out" and started my DM and FitFlop (slides, courts, boots and slippers) collection. Through the colder months, people at work are always looking to see which pair I've got on.i think the black with luminous glow in the dark soles and skeleton foot decoration are my favourite.

Have you tried sketchers? I have dodgy arches and they are all I wear now, not the most glamorous but unbelievably comfy

 

[Lanie]

So happy she has spoken to a vet, I wonder what they suggested. Is it indeed hypoplasia? Or something else? I am a bit offended be potentially called a troll for giving her some advice on a poorly kitten, next time I won't bother.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

apparently she doesn't drive because of her autism

Ah. Weird that she didn't respond to that suggestion with a rude "I DONT DRIVE you stupid idiot" type of thing, eh?

 

[FrumpyCat]

View attachment 170262
Not quite Richard Branson.

What a shame that Jack can't drive.

 

[help i need some help!]

View attachment 170274
You forget how long Girls Aloud have been around. I had some of those bad boys in green but my mistake was not co-ordinating the top to match.

My eldest had a pair in red. They were a b*gger to iron.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Sorry, this is totally off-topic but I just wanted to share as an antidote to Monroe's nefarious antics. I am moving house tomorrow so I just called in on my vendors to say hi (my buyers did the same and I appreciated the friendliness). Anyway, they were the nicest people. They've been in the house for 45 years so it's emotional for them but they are really excited about their new place. They're leaving me house plants, a bag of coal and a good luck money tree, plus a Christmas cactus that has been in the house for as long as they have. They gave me the lowdown on all the neighbours and talked me around the back garden. I've got bloody fruit trees, how fancy am I?

When I first viewed the place, my first impression was that it had been really loved, and a place of love; I made an offer on the spot. I told them that, and we all got a bit emotional. Swapped numbers, talked about people we know in common, offered to help each other out in future.

I've been getting so strung out about moving but now I'm excited and so heartened to be on the receiving end of real kindness.

Sorry for the gushing. I'm a bit giddy!

Absolutely thrilled for you!

Wishing you many years of happiness and contentment in you lovely new home xx

 

[Fenella]

Oh you absolute bunch of influencers. Just ordered a pair of dm sandals, hope they aren’t too ugly and clumpy when they get here but my rationale was that my boots have lasted eons and I keep buying sandals every year which fall apart so this must be an investment surely?

 

[Blurp]

She's "been in touch with the vet" (translation - she hasn't actually taken the kitten to the vet).

Are vets open again sahn sarf? My vet is only actually seeing emergencies where they are handed over in the car park with the staff using their own leads, and everything else is by telephone. My disabled girl was due a checkup before represcription but I was grilled on her over the telephone before collecting the Metacam from an open window and paying online

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

"Been in touch" means not seen in person. Don't know about vets where she lives but I saw mine with my fluffer this week. Didn't actually go in but rang when I arrived and a masked nurse came out, took him in, then brought him back out for a short summary talk and then paid over the phone. So pleeeeeeeease don't let COVID be an excuse about not being able to physically see the vet.

you're spot on, my dainty old lady bunny was at deaths door last month but even though our local branch of the vets was shut due to covid, they saw her at their big branch. Had to just pop her in her little cage inside the porch then wait in the car while they examined and phoned to talk it through, then collect her with meds from the porch and pay over the phone. They did this 3 times and then phoned last week to say they had opened up our local branch again and booked my other pets in for routine vaccines this week. I live somewhere that is a few weeks behind England in the lifting lockdown process so she has no excuse for not seeing a vet. She’s just a lying bleep