Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[SmillieKylie]

OMG Jack’s phone sending tweets in her bag is one of her most ridiculous lies yet, I am at a complete loss as to why she thought she could explain away those tweets with this mad reason, although I’ve looked at some of the replies to her from the Squigs, so many are believing it Honestly her squigs really are a cult, they lap up everything she says, it’s crazy.

So let’s look at her Iphone and see exactly what she is claiming it’s done tonight.

First of all we have to believe she doesn’t have a lock on her phone, so ok let’s go with that. Secondly her Twitter App has to be open and actively running, ok Jack

Now her phone runs the following steps in her bag…

Step 1
Selects the Tweet it wishes to reply to
Step 2
Composes a message in the reply section
Step 3
From the Tweet compose box, clicks the photo icon to capture or upload a GIF
Step 4
Searches to upload a GIF from the GIF library or from the phone library
Step 5
Chooses a photo or GIF, attaching to Tweet in full size.
Step 6
Finally clicks Tweet to post.

Jack’s phone then repeats this process again, as there were 2 tweets with gifs.

We are left with only two conclusions.

Conclusion 1…Jack’s phone is now sentient, and we should all be scared that phones have become this active in our bags.

Conclusion 2….

 

[NellieBoo]

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Lovely. Well done you. Shut up and crack on with it then.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

6 months is about the time it takes to buy a house from offer accepted to completion.

Have never bought a new build but imagine they would have a completion date however many months in the future, too?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

My aboslute dream would be to hire a skip and bin most of this house. As i have gotten older and lost family member i have come to realize that most of the stuff we keep is pointless. Ky dream woulf literally be pretty much an empty house.

 

[Just Lou]

Speaking as one who regularly shoves her phone into her bag upon entering an AA meeting I have managed to send a random gif or possibly two in a group chat or message that I was messaging in. I've also once or twice messaged a random string of letters. I have never managed to do either or both to separate chats/people.

HOWEVER. When every single meeting opens you are asked to turn your phone off or at least to silent (not DND because then your Favourites will still ping through though granted those people are most likely to know you are at that moment in an AA meeting). Even if, like me, your phone is almost always on DND, 99% of the room checks their phone anyway because there is almost nothing worse in a meeting than being interrupted by a phone!

I realise none of this needs explaining really.

 

[Tabitha D]

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ETA

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And yet only 2 months ago, SB “expressed v. strongly” that he wanted to stay, and she was going to make it work for him. The narrative keeps changing doesn’t it.

 

[GrannyOgg]

Apologies to @GrannyOgg as I meant to reply and the thread closed down before I could.
Not sure if it's in the Wiki or media, but if you have the time and effort it may be worth trawling through the threads from about 2 years ago to get the tweets you need. Am sure the tweets will have been posted as Tattle posts and you can get them that way.
The person we are talking about (I want to say 'Lisa' but don't quote me on that because it was ages ago and memory hazy!) was apparently well known to Jack's mum. She was very vocal about the fact E knew she was posting here and she didn't want to upset her because she was a lovely lady and had been poorly recently.
Jack basically destroyed her on

I am grunking my way through the Lockdown threads. I’ve not found the Lisa stuff yet but EVERYTHING is there and it’s all fascinating.

 

[Kallie77]

I think these decluttering tweets are for notHarold's benefit. Still trying to woo him back.

 

[Tabitha D]

I have grunked most of the evening. It’s just all such a load of bollocks isn’t it?

Doesn’t she mean given rather than ‘donated’? Otherwise it makes her friends sound like deserving causes on whom she is bestowing her patronage.

I think that’s the point. She wants her brainless Twitter followers to get the impression she donated the items as if to a charitable cause. But she gave them to friends (why? when e.g. the freezer might in fact have been useful to a charity or community kitchen instead).

 

[jenny2603]

And yet only 2 months ago, SB “expressed v. strongly” that he wanted to stay, and she was going to make it work for him. The narrative keeps changing doesn’t it.
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Imagine, if you will, a friend arrives at your house in a hideous new frock. They are really excited about it, think they look great and ask for your opinion. You could be honest and say it's an eyesore or you could just fib as they seem happy enough and if a horrorfrock makes them feel great who are you to say anything. That's an understandable lie.

You're running late because you slept in and miss your bus. You get the next bus and sneakily phone your boss to say you're really sorry but the bus was really late and you're on your way. Again, that's an understandable lie.

What is the point of the utter nonsense she lies about? SB wants to stay so I'll make it work. SB wants to go so I'll make it work. Who cares? Move, don't move just stop making up lies about your kid because it's weird.

 

[Tabitha D]

Ok crazy theory, SB wants to live with his dad full time because of school etc and being close to friends and he's of an age where that matters a lot so Jack is moving closer to facilitate that, hence only needing a one bed as SB would only be occasionally staying. Hence the previous references to this being a whole new era of focusing on relationship with SB etc.

I think this is plausible. SB will want to see his friends more probably because he’s at that age - and they’re probably at his school so in his dad’s town rather than Southend. Plus I imagine his dad’s home life is a bit more kid-friendly - from the little I’ve seen, dad seems to arrange lots of day trips, activities, and meals out etc. with SB and his sister, whereas Jack must be glued to her phone 24/7.
And then there’s the endless slop.

 

[Pavlova]

what is all this nonsense? it's gonna take 6 months cos it's a massive house full of tit

i hope an egg chair sparks joy for a refugee, though. it's just what you want when you're
fleeing invasion

She's listing all this tit in a massive effort to deflect Molly. Again. Still, it could be worse. What's your fave 80 sweet, that kind of thing or more rinsed hoops

 

[Cookiecookie]

Could she not just say ‘whilst I was out’?
Also are we to believe Jack’s phone was able to send coherent, correctly spelled words, and respond to tweets all whilst in her bag?

Maybe the Pumble was hiding in her bag?

 

[Pimpinella]

My first post! Discovered you all in 2020 when Jack was visiting the lovely independent restaurant Dishoom but couldn’t keep up with her chaos. It’s summer holidays so I’ve managed a quick scroll of most of the recaps and am finally up to date.

HOW can she expect anyone to believe this?!

What a load of kaky slop she dribbles... BTW this has been typed by my budgie..... just as believable...

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think this is plausible. SB will want to see his friends more probably because he’s at that age - and they’re probably at his school so in his dad’s town rather than Southend. Plus I imagine his dad’s home life is a bit more kid-friendly - from the little I’ve seen, dad seems to arrange lots of day trips, activities, and meals out etc. with SB and his sister, whereas Jack must be glued to her phone 24/7.
And then there’s the endless slop.

Plus his dad respects his privacy and doesn't try to portray him as some kind of victorian Fotherington-Thomas child saying 'hallo clouds hallo sky' while hooting and fizzing in wonderment at a crappy broken camera his mother let him briefly play with.

 

[GrannyOgg]

I have about four different tattle pages and god knows what else open.
For anyone interested, there’s a list of some deleted blog posts available on the wayback thingy on the first page of thread 15.

Jack Monroe #15 Shaved head and on the beg. Whatever happened to the show from the shed?

Thank you @lipsticktaser for the title. First time I've done a new thread - hope it's all ok. Yay, @Blurp, you made it over. So hopefully this works. I've done a bit moore financial snooping. It’s really quite tricky to find out about book sales in the UK ,but I just came across this amazon...

tattle.life

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

And yet only 2 months ago, SB “expressed v. strongly” that he wanted to stay, and she was going to make it work for him. The narrative keeps changing doesn’t it.
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Oh duck off planning to buy a half mil house on your "paltry income".

duck off, duck off and duck off again.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Maybe she's tweeting all this nonsense which seems to be along the lines of "I'm getting my tit together for the sake of SB" in the hope that Molly will think twice about posting an article which could bring everything crashing down.

That isn't how things work in the real world though, Jack.

 

[WinterSolstice]

23rd June - SB expressed "very strongly" that he wants to stay in the bungalow:

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16th August - Jack's been discussing a downsize with him for "a good few months" and he's "totally on board and v secure with it":

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She really does just make it all up as she goes along, doesn't she?

She’s just waiting for a friendly puddle to offer up her forever home.

 

[Incywincy]

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1) She said she hoarded stuff for 'insurance purposes'.. but now her 'family and sense of self', are her security, so they will pay the bills if she finds herself in a tricky situation?

2) I definitely read that as "I can find joy in bleeping a teaspoon"