Jack Monroe #359 Hoops I Did It Again

[HotesTilaire]

I think it's worth mentioning that others here have pointed out that this brief is another lie: Jack first said she made up this recipe for herself as uncomfort food or depressicipe or similar. The "brief" is just a made up thaaang she's using now

I dunno about you, but when I’m down, depressed, unwell and can’t motivate myself to boil plain pasta, drain it and put 100g butter on top, what I like to do is drain hoops, rinse them, heat them up and put sunflower oil on top

And another thing...if he has hoops and dried cheese left over every week, maybe he hated hoops and dried cheese?

 

[Captainmouse]

In my new love of the frauen and pumble life I have maddeningly trying to untangle the mystery of who TD is (female food blogger?) and after trawling through many pages of famous food bloggers in the UK, top tens and most liked foodies...

Sadly, I did not discover who TD is; however, what I did discover...

Is that Jack Monroe is not mentioned.

Not even once!

She really does believe her own hype - in the truest sense of the word

Not. One. bleeping. Mention.

she shares her first name with scotlands first minister, and her second with a character from (trumpton, camberwick green) windy

 

[ChickenPorridge]

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If you can't handle interactions that aren't simply people praising your questionable advice and telling you how amazing you are, maybe stop sticking your oar in and let people who actually know what they're talking about take the lead on this issue.



God, Fantasy Cabinet Twitter gives me the absolute rage.

Ah, the old Schroedinger's Jack - takes no notice of trolls, only responding to them while she's on the toilet taking a big dump tee hee hee - but wait! It does get to her badly affecting her mentals *rattle, rattle*

 

[Mogmog]

Yep. Her legal advice is NOT GOOD. Yikes. Again

You'd think she'd get some pro bono advice from her lawyer

 

[L3moning]

And if you get taken to court for lack of payment, you just tell them you’re a separate legal entity from the individual.

The Sov Cits are batshit. This does remind me of the whole Lorraine Kelly tax thing though.

 

[ContentCrunch]

Is one idea not to do a meter reading each month a few days before your bill and that way your dad should be what is actually spent?

Read this as “that way her dad can pay what she’s actually spent.”

 

[Captainmouse]

I’m just waiting for her to steal mrs beatons recipe for a toast sandwich

 

[SmillieKylie]

Ooh backing away from the Don’t Pay campaign, but at the same time calling solidarity with it, Jack in a right quandary here, doesn’t know which way to turn, wonder how the squigs will take this. Maybe Jack has seen Martin Lewis is against it, will the squigs be aghast she’s not going full-on in supporting this, appears Don’t Pay thought she would, interesting….

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Ok. I'm making it a mission of mine to stand beside a donation foodbox in a supermarket with a big placard saying:

WHY ARE YOU STUPID BASTARDS ALWAYS DONATING SPAGHETTI HOOPS FFS! DON'T YOU KNOW STARVING PEOPLE ARE PIG SICK OF bleeping SPAGHETTI HOOPS? STOP IT NOW! YOU bleeping THOUGHTLESS SELFISH BASTARDS!


Kevin Bridges fan?

Totally OT but my friend (the publishing one I've mentioned before) worked on his book and apparently he is an absolute delight - his mum even more so, she was a lowly PR starting out her career when she worked with him, and his mum invited her to their family dinner to celebrate how well his book did

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Ooh backing away from the Don’t Pay campaign, but at the same time calling solidarity with it, Jack in a right quandary here, doesn’t know which way to turn, wonder how the squigs will take this. Maybe Jack has seen Martin Lewis is against it, will the squigs be aghast she’s not going full-on in supporting this, appears Don’t Pay thought she would, interesting….

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all for people taking a stand but I really like being invited on the telly and I’m scared they’ll blacklist me if I support this.

 

[Puffincino]

Spoiler: Vimes boots index: teabag edition

Ladies and gentlemen I have had one of those moments. My fancy herbal teas that I treat myself to when feeling fancy cost about twice as much as the supermarket ones. They are at least twice as nice and (insight!) when made in a teapot I get three cups from one bag. So I reckon the posh ones are six times better value.

Please sent Teapigs of all flavours. I’m running out.

 

[Lyfofpy]

Just interrupting the flow to say every time I see another thread on here "The Chateau Diaries" my brain reads "The Chapeau Diaries" - much and

 

[Cookiecookie]

I dunno about you, but when I’m down, depressed, unwell and can’t motivate myself to boil plain pasta, drain it and put 100g butter on top, what I like to do is drain hoops, rinse them, heat them up and put sunflower oil on top

And another thing...if he has hoops and dried cheese left over every week, maybe he hated hoops and dried cheese?

It just seems so much effort doesn't it?

The foodbank 'brief' is definitely rubbish. It's such a far fetched story to those of us who live in the real world. We know it's fake, but the Jack stans live on some other level entirely.

Ooh backing away from the Don’t Pay campaign, but at the same time calling solidarity with it, Jack in a right quandary here, doesn’t know which way to turn, wonder how the squigs will take this. Maybe Jack has seen Martin Lewis is against it, will the squigs be aghast she’s not going full-on in supporting this, appears Don’t Pay thought she would, interesting….

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Her OTT language gets on my tits.

 

[upsidedown33]

This new Enough is Enough campaign has been gaining traction the last few days. Is Jack working on it behind the scenes?

 

[SharkAttack]

Jack, I got a Farmfoods leaflet through the door and I don't like it. Can you help?

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Farmfoods are not aiming at food bank users. That’s not their target market. They are aimed at elderly or disabled people who can’t cook very well for themselves. My ancient in laws who live hundreds of miles away get them now they’re too old to do much cooking and they’re a total lifesaver.

 

[WaffleKent]

Can't stop thinking about this. A squig, in one sentence, demonstrates more understanding and writing ability than Jack has ever done.

 

[bladiesla]

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I didn't know that she RENTS!

 

[moldwarp]

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Did…did the last 10 days not happen, in her mind?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

This is so beautiful I gave the squig a crown

Ooh here's yer arse back hun.

 

[bladiesla]

Outwith is such a useful word.i was shocked when I found out the English don't use it.

Me too. I put it in a report and didn't understand Word gave it a red squigle, given that all my colleagues used it so much
To be honest, next to outwith, it's moslty swear words and things like 'bowfing' that have made it in my vocabulary.