Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[auntylil]

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I'm grunking so I'm sure you will all have covered this already, but what the actual F???? Everything she listed, she either does the opposite, if it's something positive, or does herself, if it's something wrong!
"We can choose what to carry with us, and what we choose to leave behind us" - I am honestly gobsmacked and sat like this right now! Hello, TEACHERS?
Can she not see the irony in what she wrote? All of it? I just cannot believe this list. I want to comment on practically every word, but I SHAN'T!

How about you PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, JACK?
YOU don't accept that you're ever wrong, so how dare you tell other people to?
Disgusting! You would earn a lot more respect if you actually followed everything you said here, do you know that?
Humility and empathy don't seem be traits of yours - perhaps you need to start working on those things before preaching to others.

JHC, she sounds like Mrs fecking Hunch! She's full of tit, too!

 

[Five hundred dogs]

My GCSEs were pretty bad, although thankfully I scraped Cs in maths and English so didn’t need to resit. I went to a local sixth form college to do a course in backstage TV and theatre and made that my career for twenty five years. Then I reached a point in life where I was able to consider going back into education. I did an access course at the same sixth form college I’d gone to at sixteen and I’ve just completed my first year at university. I do find Jack’s whole chip on her shoulder about school ridiculous, she would had other options.

i agree about her moving out at sixteen being a bit odd, it’s not usual in middle class families for children to move out that young. It does suggest some kind of family break down. It’s funny that of all her identity cosplays she never goes for anything involving her relationship with her parents. She almost goes to the opposite extreme in insisting what wonderful people they are, but there was clearly some kind of conflict going in the time period between leaving school and big Dave getting her the call handler job.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She claims the dog is named after Laurie Penny, which is hilarious if I'm wrong and the SB truthers are right:

"What do you want to call her, pal?"

"Gosh, Mamapapa, let's name her after that nice lady on Twitter who defaced a war memorial, then Katie Hopkins mistook you for her, and that led to your landmark libel trial and after that we bought the sofa!"



Maybe Big Dave just liked reading old Beano annuals?

That's it! Laurie might be for Lozza and Laurie Penny. If it wasn't for Laurie Penny, KH would never have libelled Jack. Lozza and Lee are the sequel. The KH libel case gave Jack a hero status, more fame, attention and a notorious sofa. So she is probably very grateful to Laurie Penny

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Whilst it pains me terribly to defend JM in any way whatsoever, the girls selective schools around here are actually called Southend/Chelmsford/Colchester High School for Girls and usually referred to as 'the High School' to differentiate from the boys grammars.

She's still a lying twit tho.

Thank you for clarifying that. In Kent the non grammar schools are often called high schools because they can’t be considered comprehensive as they don’t take all pupils. If anyone was on mumsnet a few years ago they might remember a poster called Bertrandrussle who had a bee in her bonnet about education and who lived in Kent. She’d get enraged if people referred to her local non grammar schools as comprehensives.

 

[Orphan_Black]

My GCSEs were pretty bad, although thankfully I scraped Cs in maths and English so didn’t need to resit. I went to a local sixth form college to do a course in backstage TV and theatre and made that my career for twenty five years. Then I reached a point in life where I was able to consider going back into education. I did an access course at the same sixth form college I’d gone to at sixteen and I’ve just completed my first year at university. I do find Jack’s whole chip on her shoulder about school ridiculous, she would had other options.

i agree about her moving out at sixteen being a bit odd, it’s not usual in middle class families for children to move out that young. It does suggest some kind of family break down. It’s funny that of all her identity cosplays she never goes for anything involving her relationship with her parents. She almost goes to the opposite extreme in insisting what wonderful people they are, but there was clearly some kind of conflict going in the time period between leaving school and big Dave getting her the call handler job.

By Jack's own omissions, she got expelled for wielding knives. I don't think that's true, but, it may have an element of truth in it (as most of Jack's stories do.).

Maybe she did something that made her unsafe for the foster children to be around? Her parents sided with the foster kids/social services, and Jack left. (Just spitballing.)

Is there any proof that she wasn't living at home at this point anyways?

 

[Five hundred dogs]

By Jack's own omissions, she got expelled for wielding knives. I don't think that's true, but, it may have an element of truth in it (as most of Jack's stories do.).

Maybe she did something that made her unsafe for the foster children to be around? Her parents sided with the foster kids/social services, and Jack left. (Just spitballing.)

Is there any proof that she wasn't living at home at this point anyways?

Only her word as far as I know.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I didn't realise she left school at 16, that makes so much sense now regarding her poor writing skills. She just stopped and never progressed. No wonder she uses words she doesn't understand. She is still the toddler that's trying to talk like a grown up.

I would add that I do believe Jack has had a poor relationship with her parents for a very long time (hence not moving back home during the Poverty, or going to them for support). The underlying causes will probably never be totally clear, but the way she writes about her teenage years - being "thrust into the cold world of minimum wage employment" - is strange.

It would have been extremely unusual for someone from Jack's background to leave home at 16, especially with no compelling reason (her reason was, er, going to work in a chip shop. Minimum wage for 16 yr olds at the time was 3£ an hour. How the duck was she supporting herself?).

Given that her parents are foster carers, with experience with troubled children, it seems even less likely that they told her, "tough tit, failure! No second chances for you!"

Spoiler: ED mention

This is ESPECIALLY true when you consider that Jack claims her parents knew about her alleged ED and would force brandy into her for breakfast.

There's probably a lot more to this chapter of Jack's life, hidden in the background. For whatever reason, she chose to give up on education and leave home, when in reality she surely had plenty of other options open.

(What I wouldn't give for an AMA with Jack's older brother...)

Where did she live at 16? Was it with Slumdad and did he or another family member own the chippy?

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Has she had her j1g for breakfast? She's steaming already, it feels like it's going to be a long day!

 

[usefullyuseless]

Has she had her j1g for breakfast? She's steaming already, it feels like it's going to be a long day!

Weekend chaos? We haven't had one of those for a while.

 

[kirkvanhouten]

I am beyond fed up of the use of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Stop~~

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Nah, she is very consistent with this story, and it still seems to be an ego blow that she only got 4.5.

She is also still upset at not having been to university or having a degree. Both her parents and older brother have degrees (standard working class family that they are) and both her dad and older brother went to grammar school. I think she would have seen getting A levels and a degree as the default option, and would have gone on to do A levels if she was.

She was probably shocked at getting thwarted by her poor results. Being arrogant and terminally lazy, she probably expected to be able wing it with zero effort.

She could have done a resit for one of her lower graded GCSEs the January after her results came in, and gone on to do A levels elsewhere. She got a DD in double science if I remember correctly, it wouldn’t have been difficult to bump that up one grade. But that would have been too much like hard work, so instead she’s still whining 18 years later.

Only achieving 4.5 would have been a blow to the ego, but now she uses the fact as a badge to wear, proof of what a 'struggle' her childhood was. Poor disadvantaged Jack Monroe...

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

So MPs cosplay being MPs while Jack cosplays being disabled, a food writer, a cook, a chef, a lesbian, an alcoholic, someone who is autistic, someone who has ADHD, a psephologist... I could go on.

And I have no doubt that had she been elected when she made her attempt to 'stand' she'd have been pissed as a bleeping newt all day cos subsidised bars

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Elastoblast]

“Painfully shy” for next thread title.

344% Painfully shy. 100% Bullshitter

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She is like a badly-trained yappy Jack Russell. YAP YAP YAP YAP BARK BARK BARK YAP YAP YAP

 

[Mr Krabs]

Has she had her j1g for breakfast? She's steaming already, it feels like it's going to be a long day!

I thought it might be a full moon. But that’s not until mid August. It’s called the Sturgeon Moon, which is appropriate for Jack. Perhaps the frozen fish will finally escape one of the freezers.

What year would Jack have left school? Am fascinated by prequel Jack now. From age 16 to 2012 there’s not much Jackstory.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I thought it might be a full moon. But that’s not until mid August. It’s called the Sturgeon Moon, which is appropriate for Jack. Perhaps the frozen fish will finally escape one of the freezers.

What year would Jack have left school? Am fascinated by prequel Jack now. From age 16 to 2012 there’s not much Jackstory.

Sure as hell won't be milking her for her roe

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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This afternoon already feels LONG.

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

It’s funny that of all her identity cosplays she never goes for anything involving her relationship with her parents. She almost goes to the opposite extreme in insisting what wonderful people they are, but there was clearly some kind of conflict going in the time period between leaving school and big Dave getting her the call handler job.

I put this down to her being wise enough to know she needs them to help out, at least now, even if years ago she took them for granted.

Guessing they help out with childcare, maybe money, maybe she’s counting on an inheritance and also almost certainly counts on their silence about less truthful things she says and does.

 

[colouredlines]

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Jesus, someone please invent a time machine so Jack Monroe can go back in time, scrape a couple of extra, GCSEs and join the Sixth Form debate club. Alternatively just give the phone to Content, because quite frankly, a dog would have better arguments than this.