Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Orphan_Black]

Jack just wanted to pick a fight with an easy target and get some sweet sweet likes from her fans (disappointingly, no one has been calling the dog tag phone number and trolling Jack, so she needed a Plan B for engagement).

Jack thinks that the phrase "the British people" means any subsection of a group that is both British and people. Conservative Party members do not meet this criteria, dunno if it's because they are not British or not people.

Jack does not understand her own country's voting system, which is really upsetting because it suggests that Jude Law was forced to sit down for no good reason.

Baffling.

She's such an odd sock

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I didn't realise Jack moved out at 16. I always thought "thrust into the world of minimum wage work" meant her parents made her get a job when she couldn't get into 6th form

 

[Captainmouse]

Gifted and talented is no match for goals and hard work. Doesn't matter either from where you obtain your qualifications, but how you use them.

Jack, your regular reminder that being employed is fine

Not in the world of thumberlina peapod, she considers it beneath her, and her sense of entitlement

 

[Cack Conroe]

What evidence is there that Jack actually moved out at 16? Surely this would have been hard to afford for a smol pixie, and she probably wouldn't have been entitled to any help. Unless she's counting staying in one of her grandad's properties as "moving out"?

 

[Moon Face]

Going back to Roger Red Hat, would that still have been the reading scheme at that point? I thought they had moved to the likes of LetterLand by then.

I'm a true #1978truther and did RRH, I didn't think it lasted that long after me.

 

[AnnRKey]

What evidence is there that Jack actually moved out at 16?

Maybe she means moved out of her bedroom

 

[Captainmouse]

She only counts the GCSEs that were grade C or above because she’s a huge snob. I think she actually got more than 4.5.

She has complained about being prevented from sitting some GSCEs because the school didn’t want to risk a student getting bad grades. From their point of view, if Jack never did any school work at all (as stated by her friend on these threads), maybe they thought she would be better off trying to focus on a smaller number of GCSEs so as not to get overwhelmed.

Also coursework counted for a chunk of your GCSEs, and if she never did any work that would have impacted her grades and she wouldn’t have been able to scrape by by winging it in exams.

She also claims she was expelled, but her parents were unaware

 

[NellieBoo]

I didn't realise Jack moved out at 16. I always thought "thrust into the world of minimum wage work" meant her parents made her get a job when she couldn't get into 6th form

My son was 'thrust into the world of minimum wage work' at 16 . By that I mean, he didn't like college, fair enough. But he was told by us he needed to do something. He wasn't going to be able to sit around in his pants, eating biscuits and playing FIFA on his PS5 . Doesn't have quite the same 'woe is me' ring to it though, does it?!

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

I’m getting ads for Essex Police recruitment. ‘Kin hell, can you imagine Jack doing a single shift in a police control room? She’d forever be the expert on crime and justice and have endless stories about people being stabbed to death while on the phone

oh phew- I thought this was just me! Watched the Stuart Lubbock documentary last night and lots of talk on it about how Essex police fucked up the investigation, then these ads started appearing. It freaked me out! Should’ve known it was more likely releated to the smol pixie. Also if you haven’t seen the doc- (Body in the pool, All4) it’s Horrifying, sad and amazing.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

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"Raised Greek".

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

Going back to Roger Red Hat, would that still have been the reading scheme at that point? I thought they had moved to the likes of LetterLand by then.

I'm a true #1978truther and did RRH, I didn't think it lasted that long after me.

My 33 year old son learned to read with the Roger Red Hat scheme.
Just to address that point of Jack claiming to read adult books at 4/5 years old, we were asked not to teach our children to read. That's because it entails a proper structure where children learn to read from the basics upwards, otherwise they tend to just guess at words and not really understand how language works. I do get the sense that Jack sometimes uses words without really understanding them.

 

[veronica71]

Hang on, this doesn’t make any sense.
1) If she was reading her parents’ books at four wouldn’t Charlie and the Chocolate Factory have been a bit of a step down at six?
2) Why was a parent governor involved with a six year olds reading?
3) Why couldn’t she have read the reading scheme at school and Roald Dahl at home?
4) Educational psychiatrist? Wouldn’t it have been an educational psychologist?
5) Those assessments aren’t just given out like sweeties, why was she given one?
6) High school? She went to a grammar school for secondary, no one calls grammar schools high schools because they’re not.
7) Is there any such thing as a school for the gifted and talented? Arguably that’s what a grammar school is.

She’s showing how unlikely it is she is autistic by making out she was like rain man which is an incredibly outdated and untrue version of autism

 

[Captainmouse]

Really informative post, thank you for putting it together. It makes sense once you see the dates altogether. I honestly thought she would be deploying Laurie mate several times a day but it appears the novelty has worn off. Cooper has been missing for a while in pics unless that is him under the dog.

Methinks coops and content are not best buds

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I don't know why everyone is doubting Jack's reading abilities, judging by her book collection she is so far evolved she can now read books without opening them!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Try the number on the dog collar x


For anyone unaware of this account:

 

[Lazarus]

What evidence is there that Jack actually moved out at 16? Surely this would have been hard to afford for a smol pixie, and she probably wouldn't have been entitled to any help. Unless she's counting staying in one of her grandad's properties as "moving out"?

She said on that radio programme (the one in which she threw a pencil case at Kelvin McKenzie as JFT96) that she first rented privately around aged 17.

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

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Yes those old Greek classics i know from my own childhood, padron peppers and garlic pizza bread.

 

[veronica71]

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This is not an example of an ~autistic mind~ it’s the sign of a pedantic ~twit~

Hope that helps. Go well

 

[Mr Krabs]

I didn't realise Jack moved out at 16. I always thought "thrust into the world of minimum wage work" meant her parents made her get a job when she couldn't get into 6th form

I mean, weren’t we all thrust into the world of minimum wage work when we got our first jobs? Well, except for those of us who got them before the minimum wage (at £2 an hour I was a bargain). Unless you’re born into extreme privilege, you aren’t walking into a CEO job, and even the trust fund kids do unpaid internships and have to learn the ropes. It’s called working. An alien concept to Jack, I know. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t cottoned onto and misunderstood the whole antiwork thing yet.

I’m wondering what she thinks her parents should have done in her situation. Let her live at home until she figured it all out? Wait for her poetry career to take off? Wait until someone wealthy came along to take care of her?

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

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It's Greek week at Lidl!

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Was listening to Kiri Pritchard McLena interviewed on the Off Menu podcast earlier and Jackie gets a mention! Fair enough, it's to say that, while tasty, her vegan belly pork is nothing like belly pork, but, hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity!