She'd never know as she said before she never answers it.I can kinda see it, but I would never try to use it
imagine the texts she must get on the public number:
"yo, jack. I'm a political prisoner. I'm handcuffed to this radiator. how do I make pumble out of a slop bucket and leaky radiator water?"
"hiya top princessdid you film the opening of my completely non-creepy gift yet? I wuv oo "
"chapeau jackjust needed to say you won the internet today mlady when you called bojo a cockwomble"
"jack, it's nige. good j1g isn't it? I'll big you up again soon. promise. x"
"jack, can I replace rinsed hoops with orricchiete? it's all we've got in I'm afraid"
laurie, Lorry, LouLou, loopoo, youwho, Lora, Dora, lora the explorer, lora, wora, wora lora bullshit"What's the dog's nickname Jack?"
"Errr doggy dog, dogdog, Good Dog etc x"
I don't think she's very enthusiastic about the dog you guys. is that just me getting a vibedon't know if we got this one too on the not-professional account. ~literally~ dogshit
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yeah, I know next to nothing about dogs (hell, I learnt here that you don't take puppies for "walkies" till they're vaxxed and grown)I don't think she's very enthusiastic about the dog you guys. is that just me getting a vibe
Well that explains the state of the lawn, I knew one small dog couldn't cover that much ground. Southend Police should be told
She isn't, hence the obligatory smiley dog photos, which are aimed to make everyone think she's having the best time.I don't think she's very enthusiastic about the dog you guys. is that just me getting a vibe
Dreamies. The only thing cats love more than themselves.She's probably got a bonio or something my neighbours cat is a tart when I have the dreamies out.
Unruly boo boo bits hath endeth me. Send requiemo’sTonight Matthew I'm going to be a performative wanker.
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Can confirm!Oh those sad claggy looking cookies. Even the Cookie Monster would turn those down.
https://giphy.com/l3q2XhhTfFlgagUtW
To be fair to Jack, all the grass around London is looking in the same state. It's been sunny and roasting hot for days now down South.Well that explains the state of the lawn, I knew one small dog couldn't cover that much ground. Southend Police should be told
Ah I was joking -- I know it's down to the sun and not p1ssTo be fair to Jack, all the grass around London is looking in the same state. It's been sunny and roasting hot for days now down South.
Nah give it a month, the hot weather will have fucked off and all the lawns of Thorpe Bay will be lush and green again, except Jack's.Ah I was joking -- I know it's down to the sun and not p1ss
Same. Ours grows in the Wet, and dies in the Dry. Even weird neighbour has gone from watering theirs four times a day to twice.Our grass looks like that at the moment - I can’t bear to sprinkler because of the cost.
https://giphy.com/80TEu4wOBdPLG
She doesn't even do that well though!How Jack sees her role in world events:
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Jack's actual role in world events:
View attachment 1417341
And she'll put him on the naughty step if he misses one.Nah give it a month, the hot weather will have fucked off and all the lawns of Thorpe Bay will be lush and green again, except Jack's.
I bet she leaves all the turds for SB to pick up during his Tuesday visit. She's that type of bastard.
Sounds like that’s an unusual occurrencedon't know if we got this one too on the not-professional account. ~literally~ dogshit
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