Jack Monroe #335 Boob, I guess

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colouredlines

Imagine being in the middle of shoplifting a kilo of designer butter and a greasy-haired, filthy-nailed urchin slinks up to you, raises a fist, and hisses, "Solidarity, comrade!" then darts away leaving nothing but a lingering honk. It'd be enough to scare you straight.
 
Reactions: 82

MarzBarzie

But that’s fine! Don’t you see? Because he’s the expert in this situation, so if that’s what he believes then the onus is on him to teach you! Win win here.
 
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Orphan_Black

It's all a bit Citizen Smith. 'Freedom for Tooting Toot Toot!'
 
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NellieBoo

I think someone took an extra long nap today and has woken up very grumpy indeed.
 
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TheDragonWithAFlagon


In my first Saturday job in 1988, not only was I told never to attempt to stop a shoplifter, the cash office and staffroom had signs up telling staff not to resist if they were being robbed. Because nothing is worth getting stabbed or shot over. The plan was stay safe, stay alive and then the CCTV would be used as evidence. These days, security guards are more for deterrent rather than as hired heavies (although dumpy middleaged Mums with too much botox, filler and a backpack stuffed with nightmeat would probably get stopped because they'd just start crying rather than legging it or posing a risk - assuming that JM doesn't still carry a knife on her as she claimed she always did 'for protection' fucking cunt).

They also pointed out that the act of concealment, removing tags, switching price labels and suchlike are all perfectly adequate for gaining shoplifting convictions with CCTV and the odds were that whoever did it was going to be back in within 3 days for their next go, at which point they could be barred or the Police provided with further evidence to build a case (the type where reports say 'asked for 258 similar offences to be taken into consideration'). No need to stop them at all.
 
Reactions: 48

Onestorytoomany

All this butter talk reminds me of bottom, when they enter the newspaper comp.

"I like stork margarine, because I only have one leg"

Hers would be,

" I like stealing margarine, to piss off Boris"
 
Reactions: 38

BonnyBabs

I say this as an *actual* dyed in the wool socialist, but it seems standard that lefty men have no idea of the cost of mundane things like weekly food shops.

Have your boyfriend do a weekly, forensic and painfully detailed stocktake of what food you've got in, and then have him handwrite it before sending him to the shops with a huge backpack to carry everything back. He'll give up within 30 seconds.
 
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elliejoonm

Jack the ripper-offer has to be a thread title surely
 
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mchops

In no way would a person who had completed all 12 steps post this about stealing.
I'm really struggling to withhold my anger at this bullshit.
 
Reactions: 59
F

FrumpyCat

jenny2603 said:
This is blowing my mind! Why don't we just get rid of foodbanks, let everyone take what they need from shops free of charge then no one will have to be hungry again.
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When Superdrug asked Jack for money saving tips, I don't think this is what they meant.
 
Reactions: 87

Onestorytoomany

Phillipa78 said:
I see Jack's been grunking. She read all our Les Mis stuff and now her main character syndrome has her believing she's Jack Valjean the valliant king pov, oft pursued by obsessed Tory policeman Sajid Javert.
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She gets angry about weird things. I couldnt care less it cost 100 pounds there are other butters available, it not the only one in the shops.

Also if I saw someone trying to steal baby formula, I wouldn't look away I would slip them the ££ to buy it and not get taken away from their baby you, twit!
 
Reactions: 55
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