I love the little pumble shapes. Hurrah for animalos.I made a Pumble. Full (long) review below.
First of all, I apologise for the quality of my photos. Unlike Jack, I did not want to make this during daylight hours for the natural light. Please leave me and my obese cat alone.
Lest we forget, this is a pumble:
View attachment 1394769
Jack says:
View attachment 1394770
The published recipe is for pear pumble (this will become interesting later). Jack claims this is good for kids. I am not a mother, but I don't think so - when I was a kid I liked mixing things and decorating things, and the pumble involves neither of these skills, AND requires you to finely slice ingredients. Just make some brownies or cookies or something FFS.
I assembled my ingredients...
View attachment 1394781
...and got to work.
View attachment 1394771
We're off to a bad start. This is a very confusing direction. I took out an old loaf tin and hoped for the best.
View attachment 1394772
Thank yoi for your forensic attention to detail, Jack.
View attachment 1394773
I sliced my pears. It did not take long. In fact, it took me longer to read that paragraph, which is mostly Jack showing off about knowing something a bit sciencey, than it did to follow the step.
View attachment 1394827
My pears looked...large. I sliced them as directed, but I felt that small chunks would make more sense? This does not look like it will be particularly easy to serve and eat. But who am I to question a literal food expert?
View attachment 1394774
I am nothing if not forensic, so I used proper measuring spoons:
View attachment 1394828
There was no instruction to stir things round a bit, so I ended up with my top layer of pears looking like this:
View attachment 1394829
Despite my concerns about excessive cinnamon, I put the pears into the oven and continued.
View attachment 1394775
I am not a beach music festival, so I do not own any plastic shot glasses. I do have some cookie cutters though, including Cable favourites like horses, dinosaurs, and bunnies (RIP):
View attachment 1394830
Neither milk nor oil appear in the meticulous, forensic list of ingredients. I had oil but not milk so I did my best, not wanting flaccid, pale horses (no good for béchamel).
View attachment 1394831
And then I anxiously waited for it to come out of the oven.
Finally, it was time. My pears looked caramelised and delicious:
View attachment 1394864
...no wait, that's just the cinnamon.
View attachment 1394776
My pears had not softened all that much - they still had far more bite than you'd want from a crumble filling. But it was pumble time.
View attachment 1394865
Um.
How horrendously tit does that look?
Jack does not make any serving suggestions, but I accompanied my pumble with some homemade ice cream. This way I would be sure something on the plate tasted good. Plus, it's my ratafia (a Catalan licor) ice cream, and I figured alcohol might help the pumble-munching process.
View attachment 1394866
It was...not great. The pastry tasted like, well, pastry. Because it was not baked like a pie, the pastry had not absorbed any fruity flavour. The pear skin meant there was no way the pears would soften to a crumble filling texture. The top layer of pears was overspiced; the rest were bland. The size of the slices made it awkward to eat. It wouldn't make you hurl, but it's just a bad dish.
My boyfriendsaid it was the best thing he'd ever eaten and sent photos to his friends' whatsapp groupwas perplexed. I told him it was a typical English dessert (sorry English Frauen) and he looked unimpressed. He politely ate his portion. Neither of us wanted seconds.
The ice cream? Superb.
Let's take another look at the original:
View attachment 1394778
As you can clearly see, Jack has put a rim of raw pastry on her pie dish and baked it like that - not mentioned in the recipe.
She also names this as BANOFFEE pumble. Not pear. I wonder if she ever actually made the pear pumble. No photos of it exist. There are major structural issues due to the sliced, not diced, pears. It's a really bad recipe.
So how does the SAME photo go from Banoffee Pumble on Jack's Insta to Pear Pumble on her blog a day later? That, my friends, is a mystery...could pears be cheaper to price? Easier to write up? Is she just a big old lying liar who lies?
View attachment 1394777
SHAN'T.
Jack Monroe #335 Boob, I guess
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I love the little pumble shapes. Hurrah for animalos.
I bought butter at an ASDA store today. Not lurpak as it was a bit pricey but I paid £3 for 500g of an equally nice butter. Laughing at the randomness of items on the receipt as shopping with two boys with fixed eating patterns. Slightly expensive top-up shop as they "needed" new joycons which are part subsidised by me!
Attachments
Same! Child of the late 60’s. I have very poor eye sight and I struggle to read on a screen! I have photophobia and using a laptop or iPad/iPhone for more than a few minutes at a time makes me feel drowsy to! So I’m so much better with notes in print!
I suspect Jack thinks owning a shelf full of lever arch files are an ADHD/Autism trait!
I'm in.
I've always found these pictures tragicomic.I
Jack may think she is simmering, but the awkward posing, and the look in her eyes of angry bewilderment, shows she has been dumped and doesn't understand why.
PS I didn't buy bollock sausages but did get "Wee Willie Winkies for the smallest Elastoblast
Didn’t she invent the healthy start milk tokens though? Christ she’s such a prick! Most people (on benefits) will actually be entitled to these! Unless they’ve changed the rules on them. I was a young mother. Had absolutely nothing when my son was born! These were a god send! At the time they were for milk only though. Which was collected at our local health clinic! Now I’ve seen parents using them in supermarkets!
Lurpak is not designer butter. She's so ignorant
I much prefer to be able to physically have notes/books. I write in notebooks and I write letters. On Dr Jack's criteria I'm clearly off the scale.... I also WFH on line and have done for well over a decade. I'm such a contradiction! I'll need counselling and a patreon account....
. Send reanimation-os
This one has been deleted:
Also from Jacks Mumsnet AIBU. She mentions having a dog in 2016. Is this the great dane?
Jack also identifies the dog as hers, so it's not one she's looking after.
According to my Big Maths 2016 was 8 years ago. Yet Jack claims to have waited 10 years to get Content. As she's medically incapable of lying and FORENSIC about facts, I feel very confused.
Jack also identifies the dog as hers, so it's not one she's looking after.
According to my Big Maths 2016 was 8 years ago. Yet Jack claims to have waited 10 years to get Content. As she's medically incapable of lying and FORENSIC about facts, I feel very confused.
The Revolution won’t be televised but it it will be live tweeted to the point of tedium
"As someone who has worked in a rehab"
LOLOL
LOLOL
Not that long ago she was bragging about stalking around the house with socks as penises down her pants, it's not a big jump from rolled up as a cock to popped in when on the blob.
LJC almighty. What is she doing to my head?
Why canal mutter?
Histrionics about butter.
She's still feeling spiky, I see. Waiting for the political hot takes...
Attachments
No, this was a dog she was looking after for a few days, a friend's weimaraner. Just exaggerating as usual.
ETA:
IIRC lots on her Insta about that dog too.
When I used to live in a crappy flat in a very poor area, the men who would come round offering tubs of formula for a fiver generally also had steak, wine, nappies and boxes of cereal. Their pushouts (which also involved hurting security guards or any random old lady who didn't leap out of the way quickly enough) weren't to feed babies. They were to fund their speedballing habits, as they'd go straight from the flats to the split level one over the newsagent where the Big Scary Dealer provided an easy place to use and then go back out to beg money 'for the baby's milk' outside the chemist.
Most of them didn't have a baby and if they did, it certainly wasn't getting the proceeds of their crimes.
Most of them didn't have a baby and if they did, it certainly wasn't getting the proceeds of their crimes.
Million Jobs Jack
- Status