Jack Monroe #334 Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost

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Mr Krabs

Mr Krabs

Pitched to a TV network = I was in the loos of the Groucho with someone who claimed their aunt was the head of commissioning for channel 4. It snowed a lot and I half arsedly yelled the idea at her and she was like “woah that’s the best show idea ever. I’ll call my aunt in the morning”.
 
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F

FrumpyCat

colouredlines said:
Harold should send his brother round to collect the toothbrush for him. The worst that could happen is an unsolicited nuzzle.
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I think Big Barry will refuse to go, citing the nuzzling incident and the lingering smell of slop that sets off his allergies.
 
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Feck

Feck

jenny2603 said:
It's the big day today, lads. I wonder what order the guests will arrive in? I'm going for: accountant, publisher and then Harold.
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I'm hoping she gets her timings wrong and they all arrive together, awkwardly shuffling on the doorstep and working up the courage to ring the bell.
 
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Cookiecookie

Cookiecookie

Missmopps said:
I just had a quick search on twatter and I couldn’t see the double down and I can’t remember the screenshot. Does anyone have the receipt if this? I’ve always like Nigella and I was under the impression she was doing it rather naively.
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She was all over the comments, encouraging people. It just felt wrong.
 
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jenny2603

jenny2603

Feck said:
I'm hoping she gets her timings wrong and they all arrive together, awkwardly shuffling on the doorstep and working up the courage to ring the bell.
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Harold, go and sit in the lockable room whilst I hold an important meeting with "my team".
 
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Dogmuck

Dogmuck

JeanBurns76 said:
Should Nigella be responsible though? It’s like me going on Twitter or Insta or whatever and saying the same thing! I got this or that from this store/seller! (Which, with good service, I do give a shout out)! Whoever reads that is responsible for themselves if they do decide to buy from it or them. My level of service may not be what they find acceptable. I mean yes, she’s got a huge following etc but to me, if you hang off someone’s every word then more fool you. I absolutely adore Gino (chef, I’m allowed to, I’m really old) but at almost a fiver for his ready meal in Asda I’m not buying it! He could come to my house and bang it in the microwave for me. I’m still not paying it! I wouldn’t even be tempted to pay it if he banged something else either! Sorry but it’s a bleeping smart price meal in Gino designed packaging! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Am I making sense? (I’m knackered)! 😂
I just think in this day and age, especially, people need to be more self aware! I do agree that Nigella should of done her homework before sharing her Patreon! But she’s Nigella. She’s to busy having a line at a dinner party ffs! It’s like these women who go bat tit crazy over Mrs Hinch and her cleaning products. WHY???

Jack can deny it all she wants, she’s an influencer. Not your typical TOWIE one no, she’s just no different to them in the fact she scrounges money, freebies and will hang off anyone’s word for a few quid kicked her way!

Does anyone ever think the accounts that do this to people are actually Jack? I just picture her with multiple devices logged into different Twitter accounts all replying to each other! I’m not jokin either! 😳
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No disrespect dear heart Jean Burns but Nigella has massive clout and is a respected chef. Her influence is quite huge and whilst I too look at reviews from fellow purchasers I look at them cynically because Shaz7564 from glossop might not like the breakfast buffet at the Spanish hotel cos it’s all foreign muck and she expected a full English, so I take her review with a pinch of salt (and pobp). With that said I wouldn’t buy a set of knives endorsed by say Jamie Oliver because that’s pure marketing shiz that’s lining his pockets and I know that he doesn’t use them he’s got his sabatier professionals. However, this was Nigella, pointing at another “chef” and saying, she’s great and does so much great work for the poors, if you can support her, here’s her patreon deets. It appeared to be a selfless recommendation or cause that she believed in and wasn’t to benefit herself. So much more akin to a celebrity endorsing a charity, say Nadia Hussain supporting water aid. Nigella is seen as a trusted good person who is generally uncontroversial and makes tried and tested amazing food. So many people would trust that her view on Jack is solid and therefore a worthy cause, they would accept quite easily that what she was saying was true without digging. She used her goodwill and clout to endorse Jack and therefore imho she is responsible for hoodwinking folk.
 
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BlendedSlop

BlendedSlop

Feck said:
I'm hoping she gets her timings wrong and they all arrive together, awkwardly shuffling on the doorstep and working up the courage to ring the bell.
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I'm picturing a Conga line of visitors marching towards their doom the crappy bungalow with the Empire theme from Star Wars playing. Harold, the publisher, the accountant, Evil Landlady, the doctor, teacher and ceramicist, Spaniel Friend, the taxman and a creepy mortgage adviser bringing up the rear brandishing a pair of open-toed kitten heels for Jack to slip into.
 
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S

Soapy Dolphin

Squigs are all on board with the Jackie leftovers show. I think I've sighed my lungs outside my body. And she did not do this properly on Twitter. It ran for a few days and was the usual unfinished, unfulfilled rubbish with, I think, a bit of skanky cheese.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...there's really no hope for them.

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Django

Django

Feck said:
I'm hoping she gets her timings wrong and they all arrive together, awkwardly shuffling on the doorstep and working up the courage to ring the bell.
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No point. Jack is too traumatised to answer the door.
 
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Django

Django

kachoochoo said:
I know I've fuelled things by posting questioning squigs, but I also fully believe that the grift isn't going to end any time soon and it'll take something seismic for people to call her out completely

I've not posted it in a while, so for new fraus and anyone who's ended up here from twitter, here's jack's to do list, updated to include soup for bed


View attachment 1390154[

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
3 recipes per week in 2022
9 half-written manuscripts
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy ✅ GQ awards
a few announcements
adding to twitter thread of plants as they bloom
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
alcohol free versions of recipes
another walk in a restricted mod area
apple and pear crumble with brown sugar
austerity book
base system going in next book
BBC show ✅ guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
best value vegetables for squig
big press photo shoots
big work
black bean brownies recipe
black bean recipes from poll
black pudding pastitsio
BLM video monetization donation
blog post excited about for ages
bollocking rishi sunak
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal

books for the rural coffee caravan ❌ confirmed never arrived 17.2.22 by rcc twitter

Brand New System for desk - wallpaper ✅
bright blue think tank updates
brioche balls
brioche, mincemeat and camembert wreath ✅
broccoli, creamy cannellini beans and fish
Camp Kitchen from the shed
cannelini bacon and pork belly pie
carrot cake baked oats
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
chicken nuggets with black pudding crumb
chocolate and prune oats
Christmas condiment
Christmas leftovers caesar salad - nov 2022
cinnamon granola recipe
coconut oil etc mouthwash quantities
coffee scrub
column for the Breakdown
comic filter security
comparison of 2021 £20 shop to 2022 £20 shop
compiling list of independent food banks
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
cooking for one book
crispy fish recipe
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
dealing with paying taxes
deep pinky purple mascarpone ice cream
denim shirt embroidery commissions
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate ✅
dig out microwave and kettle recipes
DM to Yel
drawing nigella's garden
dyeing all clothes black
easy care for cutlery
email household management book to agent
ethical on a budget
explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loaf ✅ peeling pie
filing accounts
flannel blog
flapjack recipe
food truck of joy
gailymail
goat kleftiko
gold rush xmas presents
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
healthy on a bootstrap
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
homemade cleaning items
huge depop or Ebay sale
hummus price increase reason
hybrid cassoulet
ideas for pumpkin flesh
inbox zero by bedtime every day
jackfruit version of something
James Bond conspiracy theory
jubilee trifle recipes
kidney bean, black bean and coconut soup
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kolokythokeftedes recipe
kombucha whisky
leftover cranberry sauce recipe
lever arch files of fan mail
life hacks book
line by line spring budget takedown
links to small businesses
list of slow cooker recipes
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
lockdown list of services
make turnips not taste like turnips
maple syrup story
mashed potato secret
meal planners on website
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mincemeat recipe
mole
monopoly for charity with martin lewis
more cabbage
moving house
mushroom drying ✅ completed 2018
mushroom butter
New Thing
newspaper campaign ✅ the bleeping express
no- and low-fuel cooking
no waste cook book (on twitter for world earth day)
nutrition degree
onion chopping song
open the space squig box
Other Plans for cabbage
ouchy mouth recipes
painstakingly coated menu for week under £20
pastry recipe
patreon update
peasants pudding rec
picture of tree postcards
pistachio milk
pointing out real plants
pork and lentil bolognese
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
quick pickling
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
redoing dinner to get better light
report for work and pensions committee
repotting spider plants from a friend
reshooting beach pottery in daylight
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man ✅ GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

running order for xmas dinner
salt and vinegar sardines and spaghetti
sardine tin print
sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient ✅ potato water
selling books on website again
send squig mandarin carrot recipe
sending maple syrup tin to fan
serious work
serving libel papers to fox/daubney/anderson
setting her teenage musings to music
sexy kitchen makeover reason
shopping trolley ✅ viewed Sept 2021, unclear if gift
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker bubble bath
slow cooker recipes, maybe for depher
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
something about how money buys time
something else Jack'll remember sometime
soup for bed recipe
split peas and cooking bacon
squigs pick eyeshadow looks
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
support cabal for bullied media types
swamp thing
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
t shirts with offensive slogan ✅ actually done within 3 hours 1.2.22
t shirt profits to trussell trust updates
teemill profits
thrifty shades of beige
Thursday thunder clap
tiktok
tin juice cordial recipe
tomato soup water content - done ✅
train video for squig
transcribing and blogging non binary talk
transcribing government bollocking
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done ✅
unorthodox courgette squishing
Up To Something
uses for juice from del monte tins
various cornflakes chicken recipes
vegan char sui buns
vegan cheese list

vegan crackling ✅ deep-fried rice paper apparently, admitted April 2022. this was among the original items on this list, first posited in late 2019, preceding these threads

vegan diabetic creme egg (maybe)
vegan haggis
vegan pastitsio in collab with Linda ✅
vegan paella with artichokes
vegan pie glaze
vegan version of upside down pineapple chicken
Vimes Boots Price Index - due mid February 2022
visit Poland
weekly routine
write about diva pdf experience
write about sobriety
writing a thing about tories and 30p meals ✅
zero waste curry falafels

SPOILER]
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DOG BISCUIT RECIPE!
 
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