Jack Monroe #333 Bootsnack crook

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It’s The Truman Show

It’s The Truman Show

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
Go and do SOMETHING.

Not twatting around the crappy bungalow feeling sorry for yourself.

Not focusing on Tinder Twats who will most likely ghost you once they've googled and see you're a skint (allegedly) bunny boiler in search of 18 years of CMS payments and look about 20 years older in person compared to via facetune (if they ever had any interest in anything other than a quick ego boost before going home to the wife and kids)/weren't a predator.

Not focusing upon the people who were nice to you even when you were really rude to them because their son/brother/whatever was dating you no longer having to be polite.

Not focusing on SB (although that's hardly a new thing in itself) being at home with his Dad and family.

You've clearly got somebody already looking after the poor bloody Two Grand Content or you wouldn't be at the supermarket in the first place. Do something more useful than wafting around Asda's like a Smartprice Ghost.


Spend a fiver a week on going to a cheap gym. Put earphones in, be anonymous, don't speak to anybody. If your shoulder is hurting and you genuinely cannot do gentle, loadfree mobilisation exercises on the pec fly/rear delts (which any physio would advise you to try and keep doing to ensure you have some movement even with the condition you claim), do a leg and core session.

Book a course of swimming lessons and actually go to them. Even if you don't get as far as tearing up and down the fast lane, you'll learn how not to sink and moving in the gentle, supportive resistance of the water will give you some relief and a pleasing sensation similar to a weighted blanket. Have a bloody long shower afterwards, all free as you've already paid for it in your admission. Drink a large bottle of cold water afterwards.


Buy yourself a portion of chips on the way home as you'll be hungrier after swimming than from any other exercise known to woman (it's a genuine thing).


Then sit outside and enjoy the sunset and fresh air before getting some sleep (stay off your phone) or at most listening to an audio book. Nothing worthy. Nothing political. Just an audio book - Lord of the Rings, Watership Down, something that has a soothing voice and rhythm that you just switch off to. Or a running documentary - they're great for that because a lot of the foley is the sound of somebody running or designed to create a feeling of the ongoing process, rather than being thrilling or exciting. Or a Gaelic radio station - no idea what they're talking about, but it sounds nice.

Tune out the feelings of loss or resentment and DO SOMETHING.
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Good advice for all ❤🥰🙏
 
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Geetbo

Geetbo

I reckon she should open the mystery box to cheer herself up. Finding creepy squigs penis picked in a beetroot jar will give her the lift she needs.
 
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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

Elastoblast said:
It's been a chard days night and I've been cooking up some slop
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It’s been a chard day’s night, and I’ve been shaking like a shitting dog.

*I know I’m a bit late to the party and we’ve moved on to a major lights OFF but I couldn’t resist. Also, Jack, get off Twitter you bleeping ghoul.
 
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Cack Conroe

Cack Conroe

replace32titles said:
Goes on Countryfile to talk about veganism, dresses as Tory landowner…
View attachment 1385584
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It’s enraging that this flesh guzzling fraud ever dared to be a spokesperson for veganism. The brass neck on it.

Also, pretty sure I’ve seen that garish shirt elsewhere other than countryfile, so probably worn more than once. Despite her claims that it was “new without tags”.
 
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Emmapism

Emmapism

That's such an odd way to describe relationship heartbreak.

Back when my fella and I first started dating we broke up temporarily (I ended things very stupidly because he wasn't saying the right stuff. Took me a while to clock that he was showing me he loved me in other ways etc)

And in the couple of weeks we were apart I was MISERABLE. I missed stupid things like stroking his beard and giggling with him before we fell asleep.

If I was going to overshare on Twitter I don't think 'having someone else to help with the shopping' and 'cancelling a holiday' would be things that would be concerning to me.

Jack's current Twitter garbage reminds me of my Facebook statuses 14 years ago, but with less genuine emotion behind them.
 
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Onestorytoomany

Onestorytoomany

Winthropp Tuesday said:
Deleting holidays from the joint Google calendar? After what was it, two and a half minutes of relationship? Good god the pumble is real! I’ve been married 5 years, we have no joint calendars and still haven’t had a honeymoon because no money! The bleeping entitlement is off the scale…😂
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I have been with my husband more than a decade and we have no joint calenders. We have a calender in the kitchen with things like take kid one to dentist, take kid two to sports day etc, that's it.
 
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C

Cantthinkofausername

Onestorytoomany said:
Talking about her sad tweet. Sometimes we all have crappy days and to be honest. Instead of wallowing in them they are usually the days I grab my kids, check what funds I have spare ( usually not much) and piss off out for the day with them. Watching them have fun literally does pull me out of the funk!

She needs to realise she doesn't need another person to make her feel valid. She has her son and he should be enough!
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And her dog.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but my friend found that taking her dog on long walks really helped her depression.
 
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StillLucilleBluth

StillLucilleBluth

I think often, the pain of a breakup also comes from mourning a future you thought you'd have with that person. I think that's very fair, and is one explanation for why a breakup from a shorter relationship can be devastating. If you're with someone and making future plans (both in good faith at the time) and talking about a future, especially if you're at an age where you might feel (rightly or wrongly) that you're "running out of time", to suddenly lose all that AND miss the person is extremely difficult. It doesn't matter if it was only a few months. Of course, there's an argument to be made for not getting ahead of yourself, but generally we're wired to forge connection and reproduce, and it's not wrong to start to tentatively plan a future with someone, especially if they seem to be doing the same. (And of course, there are good and bad reasons to want to be with someone, but the heart wants what it wants and sometimes it's hard to step back and really examine your own motivations.)

I'm not saying this is the case with Jack and OH. Who knows what went on there. She's dreadful, and I won't give her the benefit of the doubt, based on her past behaviours as evinced on Twitter. She probably is missing the "wrong" things.

I just wanted to offer a different perspective on why (for non-Jacks) the length of a relationship doesn't have to correlate with the sadness you feel at it ending.
 
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BlendedSlop

BlendedSlop

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
Go and do SOMETHING.

Not twatting around the crappy bungalow feeling sorry for yourself.

Not focusing on Tinder Twats who will most likely ghost you once they've googled and see you're a skint (allegedly) bunny boiler in search of 18 years of CMS payments and look about 20 years older in person compared to via facetune (if they ever had any interest in anything other than a quick ego boost before going home to the wife and kids)/weren't a predator.

Not focusing upon the people who were nice to you even when you were really rude to them because their son/brother/whatever was dating you no longer having to be polite.

Not focusing on SB (although that's hardly a new thing in itself) being at home with his Dad and family.

You've clearly got somebody already looking after the poor bloody Two Grand Content or you wouldn't be at the supermarket in the first place. Do something more useful than wafting around Asda's like a Smartprice Ghost.


Spend a fiver a week on going to a cheap gym. Put earphones in, be anonymous, don't speak to anybody. If your shoulder is hurting and you genuinely cannot do gentle, loadfree mobilisation exercises on the pec fly/rear delts (which any physio would advise you to try and keep doing to ensure you have some movement even with the condition you claim), do a leg and core session.

Book a course of swimming lessons and actually go to them. Even if you don't get as far as tearing up and down the fast lane, you'll learn how not to sink and moving in the gentle, supportive resistance of the water will give you some relief and a pleasing sensation similar to a weighted blanket. Have a bloody long shower afterwards, all free as you've already paid for it in your admission. Drink a large bottle of cold water afterwards.


Buy yourself a portion of chips on the way home as you'll be hungrier after swimming than from any other exercise known to woman (it's a genuine thing).


Then sit outside and enjoy the sunset and fresh air before getting some sleep (stay off your phone) or at most listening to an audio book. Nothing worthy. Nothing political. Just an audio book - Lord of the Rings, Watership Down, something that has a soothing voice and rhythm that you just switch off to. Or a running documentary - they're great for that because a lot of the foley is the sound of somebody running or designed to create a feeling of the ongoing process, rather than being thrilling or exciting. Or a Gaelic radio station - no idea what they're talking about, but it sounds nice.

Tune out the feelings of loss or resentment and DO SOMETHING.
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I feel bad for reducing your excellent post down to this, but

"Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost"

would be a fantastic thread title.
 
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Boyo

Boyo

BlendedSlop said:
I feel bad for reducing your excellent post down to this, but

"Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost"

would be a fantastic thread title.
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I’d just bookmarked to drag back later in the thread 😂
 
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