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Veronicaaa
VIP Member
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Prepare for chaos, ninnies.
usefullyuseless
VIP Member
'The tomatoes I am growing for my lover'
ChickenPorridge
VIP Member
Her lingering honk brings all the boys in scrubs to the chard and they're like, do I smell lard? Damn right, you do smell lard I could teach you but I have to charge 
Congratulations to @Boyo for the thread title, words from a squig.
Recap of last thread:
Jack wants to sell her clothes, who wants to buy them? Err, no she doesn’t want to donate them to a charity shop, wash your dang mouth out. And, of course she was planning on splitting it 50/50 with a charity, FFS, let her get the words out. Actually, you know what, to hell with this hellsite, she’s actually really busy with lots to do.
She posted a photo of her puppy chewing on her Doc Marten’s. Don’t you dare point out boundaries, folks. She wasn’t actually asking for advice.
She also made an appearance on Lorraine in a rather fetching raspberry pink blazer and advised people to wash their clothes with shampoo. The nation’s plumbers thanked her for the coming month’s work.
She made it to one year sober and Burglar Bill is very proud.
Please use the words 'thread title' when nominating one and read the wiki if you're new. Thankyoooou.
Recap of last thread:
Jack wants to sell her clothes, who wants to buy them? Err, no she doesn’t want to donate them to a charity shop, wash your dang mouth out. And, of course she was planning on splitting it 50/50 with a charity, FFS, let her get the words out. Actually, you know what, to hell with this hellsite, she’s actually really busy with lots to do.
She posted a photo of her puppy chewing on her Doc Marten’s. Don’t you dare point out boundaries, folks. She wasn’t actually asking for advice.
She also made an appearance on Lorraine in a rather fetching raspberry pink blazer and advised people to wash their clothes with shampoo. The nation’s plumbers thanked her for the coming month’s work.
She made it to one year sober and Burglar Bill is very proud.
Please use the words 'thread title' when nominating one and read the wiki if you're new. Thankyoooou.
kachoochoo
VIP Member
14th most important LGBTQ+ person once more
MancBee
VIP Member
Other threads? Other threads? Who has time for other threads? It takes me all my spare time to keep up here.
TheDragonWithAFlagon
VIP Member
Go and do SOMETHING.
Not twatting around the shitty bungalow feeling sorry for yourself.
Not focusing on Tinder Twats who will most likely ghost you once they've googled and see you're a skint (allegedly) bunny boiler in search of 18 years of CMS payments and look about 20 years older in person compared to via facetune (if they ever had any interest in anything other than a quick ego boost before going home to the wife and kids)/weren't a predator.
Not focusing upon the people who were nice to you even when you were really rude to them because their son/brother/whatever was dating you no longer having to be polite.
Not focusing on SB (although that's hardly a new thing in itself) being at home with his Dad and family.
You've clearly got somebody already looking after the poor bloody Two Grand Content or you wouldn't be at the supermarket in the first place. Do something more useful than wafting around Asda's like a Smartprice Ghost.
Spend a fiver a week on going to a cheap gym. Put earphones in, be anonymous, don't speak to anybody. If your shoulder is hurting and you genuinely cannot do gentle, loadfree mobilisation exercises on the pec fly/rear delts (which any physio would advise you to try and keep doing to ensure you have some movement even with the condition you claim), do a leg and core session.
Book a course of swimming lessons and actually go to them. Even if you don't get as far as tearing up and down the fast lane, you'll learn how not to sink and moving in the gentle, supportive resistance of the water will give you some relief and a pleasing sensation similar to a weighted blanket. Have a bloody long shower afterwards, all free as you've already paid for it in your admission. Drink a large bottle of cold water afterwards.
Buy yourself a portion of chips on the way home as you'll be hungrier after swimming than from any other exercise known to woman (it's a genuine thing).
Then sit outside and enjoy the sunset and fresh air before getting some sleep (stay off your phone) or at most listening to an audio book. Nothing worthy. Nothing political. Just an audio book - Lord of the Rings, Watership Down, something that has a soothing voice and rhythm that you just switch off to. Or a running documentary - they're great for that because a lot of the foley is the sound of somebody running or designed to create a feeling of the ongoing process, rather than being thrilling or exciting. Or a Gaelic radio station - no idea what they're talking about, but it sounds nice.
Tune out the feelings of loss or resentment and DO SOMETHING.
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ContentCrunch
VIP Member
someone (a 20 something deadly social justice bore) was explaining the JM vimes boots index to their mum and elderly Nan in a Yorkshire based 
Gregg’s today and getting cross with them both Me and t’Nan locked eyes and as she got up she said to me “she’s got a lot to learn.”
Nan are you here?
I repeat is greggs Nan here?
replace32titles
Well-known member
Goes on Countryfile to talk about veganism, dresses as Tory landowner…
Valiofthedolls
VIP Member
I am hardly going out on a (dangerous giant eucalyptus) limb when I say I believe the below to be a more realistic and truthful representation/self portrait of the subject than Ol Slopgoblin’s above.
….And, as I too RENT please also send Cashos to 1, Humid Street, Humid, The US of A so that I may buy a forever home for me and my smol husband.
DinosaurSenior
VIP Member
Just a goat, in a hand knit.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Reply:
jenny2603
VIP Member
Just switched on Gardeners World and Monty Don has just said Jack is white trash who should shut her legs. Absolute scenes.Typical white rich man, with his typically English name smh
Phillipa78
Chatty Member
It's a personal bugbear of mine when dialling into work calls and the organiser insists on waiting for more people to join. It's not a seance Barbara, just crack on and stop wasting my time!!I kept thinking my phone had frozen.
Poor Jack. Knowing full well 99.9% of the viewers were canallers. Yet having to be grateful anyone was watching.