Oof, this thread. I think whoever mentioned suicide baiting was right. Unleashed memories of the 6-month period after I ended a yearlong relationship with an unstable woman. I called for help (before I knew not to trust Toronto police). I had to babysit her for days until a friend came to save her and berate me. I was the big meanie who ended a relatively short-term relationship because I was unhappy. SHE LEFT but then spent months texting me, posting stuff on social media, saying things to mutual friends, leaving alarming voicemails all to make me worry.
I know this because this person is now my ordinary friend. She's married with kids, lives a nice life, went back to school to great success, and admitted to me that she tortured me for months because she hoped I'd change my mind about the break-up. We ended up laughing because I pointed out how she basically spent 6 months confirming my worst fears and validating my decision to end things. Her self-awareness has just blossomed over time. It's unbelievable what some people can do if they face their patterns. Something like making a fearless and searching moral inventory of herself, with rigorous honesty as she examined past events and tendencies of guilt, resentments, fear, pride, shame, relationships, abuse, etc. Really relying on the general principle of self-honesty, you know. Sort of like that "scary" step four.
This is all my projection. Finding it hard to understand why people are so sympathetic. People break up. Christ. Relationships are consensual. You don't need a good reason to end things, if you want to end things! I feel sorry for whomever this performance is meant to torture. Hope they see it as confirmation and validation. Go Harold. Oh, and my ex would've said it came "out of the blue" too, because I was the one stressed out and walking on eggshells for months, not her.
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straight
