Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title by @Veronicaaa nominated by @PowerliftingOtter thanks lads. You win a trip to the kitchen of doom. Remember the safe word!

Wiki is the pink button up top for newbies. When nominating a thread title please use the words 'thread title' and no swearing allowed. To save bookmarking and TOO EARLYs you can actually nominate one at any point during the thread!

In the last thread:

Jack was uncharacteristically quiet which leads us to believe she is properly caring for Content. That or she binned her wi-fi router again.

Mere days after being rejected by Harold, she's on Tinder. God help the rich lesbians of Thorpe Bay.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Now I have a vague memory from when I started following her she would take pre-date photos. I always thought it was weird for a ‘cook’.
Could we be that lucky?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

We might be lucky and enter a second eyeshadow era!

 

[Clovis]

Dying for everyone to catch up with today's developing news.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

So embarrassed for her.

accounts still showing overdue

ON A BOOTSTRAP LIMITED overview - Find and update company information - GOV.UK

ON A BOOTSTRAP LIMITED - Free company information from Companies House including registered office address, filing history, accounts, annual return, officers, charges, business activity

find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She's a wee bit thirsty, isn't she?!

Just a bit of advice I have had many friends go internet dating and met the biggest weirdos, good luck pet!

I have never done it. It not my thing.

 

[Lazarus]

Slightly bitter that Tinder Swindler part II didn’t get the thread title it deserved. Might make a spite filled trifle this evening.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

My burning question of the day is simply

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Slightly bitter that Tinder Swindler part II didn’t get the thread title it deserved. Might make a spite filled trifle this evening.

You forgot to add 'Electric Boogaloo' at the end.
Rookie mistake.

 

[Cack Conroe]

I bet she’s only after men, she wants to cuck Harold.

She’ll delete these tweets once the narc supply has worn off, and whatever emotion she has that normal people experience as “embarrassment” begins to set in.

The replies from male squigs is interesting, makes me wonder if their fandom is motivated by fancying her.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

If she thinks twitter is full of freaks she's in for a shock. I had a friend once get taken out by a bloke who asked her for oral sex, when she refused he whipped it out anyway and pleasured himself. That's one of the horror stories I have been told!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Also on that squig - fancy your husband being that squig who sent a tweet saying oh if only I wasn’t old fat and balding and married? Like I’ll do for you with ur low standards wife but Jack Monroe? She needs a dream boat? Such a bizarre interaction!

 

[NellieBoo]

I'm old and been with my OH for years. I'm thinking it's too long after this afternoon chaos where he flooded the kitchen . But isn't Tinder more for 'Hook ups' or whatever the young uns call it these days?

 

[Orphan_Black]

The replies from male squigs is interesting, makes me wonder if their fandom is motivated by fancying her.

Not only does hunger hurt, it makes your mind go all fuzzy. Save these poor Squigs, Dear Snickers.

(Jokes, all of Jack's fans are middle class do-gooders. Just doing enough to earn self awarded gold star stickers, whilst keeping the poors away. They don't go hungry themselves, they donate tinned prunes to the hungry instead.)

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Does it not occur to her that aside from anything else, this is deeply unprofessional?

 

[Orphan_Black]

I'm old and been with my OH for years. I'm thinking it's too long after this afternoon chaos where he flooded the kitchen . But isn't Tinder more for 'Hook ups' or whatever the young uns call it these days?

It is nowadays. I'm surprised she didn't choose Bumble, it's more female friendly, less duck bois.

 

[Clapster1]

If she thinks twitter is full of freaks she's in for a shock. I had a friend once get taken out by a bloke who asked her for oral sex, when she refused he whipped it out anyway and pleasured himself. That's one of the horror stories I have been told!

I went on one internet date once (about 9 years ago) where we went out for a drink at a lovely pub. As I excused myself to go to the bathroom and stood up the person I was with said "Ooh!" Fumbled in their bag and slid a sandwich bag across the table towards me asking if I could catch a poo for them.
Unsurprisingly I left and never dated that way again.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I’d live for her getting with a medical professional tbh. Two of my best mates are a GP and a physio. They’re both fantastic, compassionate people but they’re incredibly solutions-orientated. Can you imagine Jack lying, clawing at the floor and wailing, in whatever vicious pain she claims and they’d be like “what’s up?”:

“It’s my RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS playing up again. Also I have a 50p sized hole in my cheek. Also I am probably having some kind of seizure. Also I am autistic so I’m probably having a bit of MELTDOWN”

Honestly people who deal with actual sick people all day are not going to have time for that tit. Other than the obvious narc revenge because of what Harold said (which, by the way, LOL. Chapeau, Harold) my best guess is that she’s drug-seeking.

I'm old and been with my OH for years. I'm thinking it's too long after this afternoon chaos where he flooded the kitchen . But isn't Tinder more for 'Hook ups' or whatever the young uns call it these days?

Ostensibly yes but I met my husband on Tinder. He was originally a rebound, older hunk for a temporary fling before I moved cities but we only bloody went and fell in love.

 

[moldwarp]

I’m not sure Tinder is right for JM. She’s too conservative and straight edge to cope with dating as commodity. I think she’d be quite offended by the offer of a casual hook up as she’s very much an all-in relationship type person. Also as @heretoreaditall2019 mentioned, there’s her digital footprint to consider. I’d imagine that most Tinder users will Google interesting prospects before accepting. They’ll pretty much end up here. Unless she’s going for it under her real name.

 

[NellieBoo]

Also on that squig - fancy your husband being that squig who sent a tweet saying oh if only I wasn’t old fat and balding and married? Like I’ll do for you with ur low standards wife but Jack Monroe? She needs a dream boat? Such a bizarre interaction!

Men are weird.

Does it not occur to her that aside from anything else, this is deeply unprofessional?

She treats twitter like Facebook messenger. Or a very locked down facebook profile. It's very odd.