Veronicaaa
VIP Member
This exchange made me laugh.
- Notice
Smeghead
VIP Member
Industry WhatsApp group
Delia: thank you so much for presenting the award to me last night Jamie, lovely to see you
Jamie: absolute pleasure My Darling, it was a true honour. Love ya babe
Gordon: oh fuck off you two, get a room
Ainsley: No Slop Slinger at the awards, I noticed…
Heston: Well she can’t cook and can’t write and can’t write about cooking, so
Nigella: now, now Heston, you naughty thing. We all have to start somewhere!
Gordon: Start? She’s been pulling this same shit from before I started looking like a chewed up bulldog, for fuck sake!
Jamie: weren’t you born like that G?
Gordon: Fuck me, you cheeky bastard, you’re one to talk about puppy fat
Prue: talking of dogs..
Nadiya 🫣
Nigella: oh God I know, she can hardly look after herself. I said before, she’s like a tiny child. I just want to wrap her up and put her in a cot
Gordon: will you fuck off Nigella, you’re part of the problem with all your ‘isn’t she brilliant’ bullshit
Nigella: well it stops her asking to draw parts of my house
Jamie: true dat. Makes Glasto a bit more interesting this year. Haven’t heard her talk about The Poverty before.
Mary:
Delia:
Miguel:
Gordon: oh hello Miguel, nice of you to join us - you dream stealer
Miguel: Lorraine was a dream of mine, too
Ainsley: well done mate, at least no one will come down with food poisoning
Gordon: that’s because no one fucking watches it
Marcus: not long until Mrs Liverpool comes back out to play?
Gordon: jesus Marcus, what the fuck are you still doing here?
Prue:
Jamie: will she make it to Glasto in one piece? Will she hitchhike with her dog or the car break down she’s getting a lift with? Will she wear her stab vest again or act all shy singing with Billy? Bets on the next chaos?
Gordon: fuck off Jamie, we haven’t finished the last one
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Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Winthropp Tuesday
VIP Member
"Morning boys!" I wandered over to the Women's Institute tent opposite ours, swigging half a bladder of non-alcoholic fizzy tea I'd made from thrice boiled beetroot water, an ASDA Smart Price tea bag and some flat yellow lemonade I found in a bottle just outside my canvas flaps this morning. "Can I tempt you to a lecture on how the price of jam has gone up by 4p since 1998? I'll be giving it on the Leftfield stage right after I've sung a duet with Billy Bragg on what it's like being a Socialist with no real principles whatsoever". They eyed it suspiciously. "No thank you" said Valerie, 67, who'd brought her award winning cocaine shortbread to show. "I'm off to get twatted with Lizzo". I took off my stab vest and the lights went out.
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jenny2603
VIP Member
Jack: Hey SBs dad I'd like to call him Hercules
SB's Dad: I forbid it.
Jack: Hey SB's Dad I'm going to drag SB round the streets whilst wet and keep him in a state of near starvation.
SB's Dad: Cool.
Not sure where in the chaos this will land…
Found these threads during DKL. Hooted til I realised I was far too invested in this shitmuffin’s inability to hold a spoon. I LEFT.
Then my OH was discussing this odd woman he saw on the news recently discussing the price increases.
“She had a boys name and was surrounded by jars of shit, and sounded like she’d done too much deepthroating. Apparently a chef but looks like you’d catch a foreign disease.”
“Was she called… *shudders* Jack?”
“Yeah! What a bell end.”
*Vietnam style flashbacks to Spring 2020*
…then lo and behold the biggest grunk of my life.
Cabal/Canal, I salute you for your services, toot toot
thornyhousewife
Member
hello, I’m new here. Have been reading these threads for the past few days.
I always had an off feeling about JM and found her hyperbole fucking insufferable, but I didn’t know that much about her tbh.
So I read the wiki…
you are all very very funny. I’m convinced at least a couple of you are professional writers or in the entertainment industry.
Satisfying Click
VIP Member
"Can you recommend a Georgian supper, Jack?"
flightofthealligator
Active member
I am fully aware of much I am missing the point and how pedantic I’m being but Hercules wasn’t even Greek. His name in Greek was Heracles. Dumbass
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Lol
Griftymcgriftface
VIP Member
Can someone ring her and ask for the broccoli pasta recipe?
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Yeah, shut up you dickwads x
colouredlines
VIP Member
Maybe, just maybe, planning to buy a house with a man you'd been dating a few months was one of the reasons HE LEFT?
hydeist
Chatty Member
I'm sure Jack's protestant Northern Irish ma was delighted with those name suggestions
ah yes, very smart to put the phone number you ignore on the dog tag.
jenny2603
VIP Member
Oh, I just assumed she'd be breastfeeding initially.
Brian Butterfield
VIP Member
Jockmcgraw
Member
Hello! I've been here since lockdown 2020 and have posted a couple of times but mainly lurk.
I became aware of Jack when she first came to prominence and while I wouldn't say I was a fan, I thought she was doing some really good work and campaigned on some important issues but never paid too much attention to her beyond that.
I first twigged something wasn't right when she wrote that article in the Guardian about her son's father. I'd always assumed she'd been a single mum without support and it simply didn't add up that she'd actually had fantastic support, yet her and her son had been so destitute.
Then I saw the That Man meltdown and started looking here a bit. And then became a more avid reader during thekitten episode and i couldn't believe the support she was getting from the squigs.
I grew up WC in a house where money was tight. Space was tight and we were lacking some essentials like proper heating. I wouldn't ever say it was poverty - we never went without food, but y'know, it was difficult at times.
That article about the son's dad sent alarm bells off as it was so disconnected from what i had witnessed. Over time my parents were the more 'secure' ones of the wider family- they both worked and didn't have health issues. Over the years they've helped cover rent and given money towards bills when they could, given my aunties some of my own xmas presents so their own kids would have something to open. They once found out my nan had been not eating because her money had been stopped and was too proud to say. They did what anyone would surely do - done her a shop, gave her a bit of cash they could spare and gave the benefits office hell until it was sorted (talking 30 years ago, my mum refused to leave the building till the issue was fixed.)
In my experience, families and communities rally round - even when there's not a lot go round you pull each other up as best you can. There's no way any decent person would let their child or grandson live in squalor if there was a way to stop it. They're either awful people or it's bollocks.
That article about the son's dad sent alarm bells off as it was so disconnected from what i had witnessed. Over time my parents were the more 'secure' ones of the wider family- they both worked and didn't have health issues. Over the years they've helped cover rent and given money towards bills when they could, given my aunties some of my own xmas presents so their own kids would have something to open. They once found out my nan had been not eating because her money had been stopped and was too proud to say. They did what anyone would surely do - done her a shop, gave her a bit of cash they could spare and gave the benefits office hell until it was sorted (talking 30 years ago, my mum refused to leave the building till the issue was fixed.)
In my experience, families and communities rally round - even when there's not a lot go round you pull each other up as best you can. There's no way any decent person would let their child or grandson live in squalor if there was a way to stop it. They're either awful people or it's bollocks.