Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

[Pocahontas]

Congrats to @bowiethesdmn for the thread title! You win a weekend pass to Glastonbury (catch is, the only thing you’re allowed to watch is Jack)

Recap of last thread:

After tweeting that she’d been carrying Laurie the puppy around and likening her to a new baby, Jack then made reference to several recent lost pregnancies.
After that, she went fairly quiet and did not post any new photos or videos of her puppy.
She deactivated her Twitter account again (1.15am on Thursday morning) and then reactivated (10am Thursday morning).

Will she still take the stage with Billy Bragg at Glastonbury this weekend? I think the world needs a laff, so I hope so.

Please use the words ‘thread title’ when nominating one.

 

[I steal names]

@von89 can you confirm or deny if she has a sticky kitchen floor? The place *feels* filthy from photos.

 

[Vanelope]

I still can’t believe Marina O’loughlin are the slop - it must have been Charlie Bighams

 

[Clovis]

Another day, another thread, another chaos.

Toot toot!

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Replying to a post on the previous thread about Jack getting a dog when she's planning to move:


Especially as she doesn't know where she's going to end up. She talked about downsizing and indicted she was looking at a flat (although I don't believe for a second she'd "lower" herself to that). A flat would not be compatible with a dog of that size!! Plus although they can't say no because of a pet it'll make her much less desirable as a tenant.

Unless she plans to use the dog as a reason she couldn't possibly leave her incredibly expensive bungalow?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

@von89 can you confirm or deny if she has a sticky kitchen floor? The place *feels* filthy from photos.

how very dare you. She deep cleans it 17 TIMES A DAY!

 

[bowiethesdmn]

At least my prize wasn't a visit from The Pumble so for that I will be thankful!

I see she's reactivated in the time it took me to walk to the shops and back. Bet she was a joy on MSN back in the late 90s/early 00s. Been interesting and nice to see the increasing amount of new members of our mithering canal, especially the slowly growing amount of people who have actual real life experience of the smol pixie. Hoping for a Glasto chaos as I got a long weekend at work ahead and also hoping for a 180 re: Content and that he was just visiting and he's now housed with someone who isn't a completely neglectful idiot.

Edit: think i misgendered the dog but my point still stands

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

It's called Factitious Disorder now, not Munchausen's btw.

 

[I steal names]

how very dare you. She deep cleans it 17 TIMES A DAY!

Ah, I forgot about that, the natural behaviour of those with hoarding tendencies

 

[trueblue222]

Replying to a post on the previous thread about Jack getting a dog when she's planning to move:


Especially as she doesn't know where she's going to end up. She talked about downsizing and indicted she was looking at a flat (although I don't believe for a second she'd "lower" herself to that). A flat would not be compatible with a dog of that size!! Plus although they can't say no because of a pet it'll make her much less desirable as a tenant.

Unless she plans to use the dog as a reason she couldn't possibly leave her incredibly expensive bungalow?

She's not going to have the final say though. Not a chance will her landlady want her to stay now. I bet she's been a nightmare and her landlady wants her out

Jack has reactivated and she'll be reading here no doubt so I'm just going to say when I find the books I bought from you they are getting flung in the recycle. I absolutely despise you. I despise you for your grifting and the way you treat animals and I also want to say this. You seem to think that having a large platform means you can talk to and dogpile any way you choose

It should mean the exact opposite. You should be mindful of how you challenge people and talk to people particularly as you have a team of very nasty flying monkeys

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

how very dare you. She deep cleans it 17 TIMES A DAY!

not just cleans, DEEP CLEANS. But also how much mess does she make that things need to be deep cleaned several times a day? I have 4 people 2 cats and 2 rabbits in my house and my kitchen is always clean, but then I don’t hoard rusty spoons or have weird abattoir-looking equipment hanging from the walls

 

[trueblue222]

It's called Factitious Disorder now, not Munchausen's btw.

Didn't know that. According to Google it can still be called both even by the NHS I assume as there there will be a transition period but I understand your point and wouldn't deliberately misrepresent a condition.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Frauen and herren, we are channelling some kind of energy at the moment, everyone's being extra hilarious. @Geetbo's saggy grey underwear and flat cap combo made me grockle laugh so loudly.

 

[Geetbo]

Frauen and herren, we are channelling some kind of energy at the moment, everyone's being extra hilarious. @Geetbo's saggy grey underwear and flat cap combo made me grockle laugh so loudly.

I think we're all just giddy with excitement about Jack's lecture about jam at Glastonbury.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Frauen and herren, we are channelling some kind of energy at the moment, everyone's being extra hilarious. @Geetbo's saggy grey underwear and flat cap combo made me grockle laugh so loudly.

it’s when Jack stops tweeting everything becomes much more light hearted!

I think we're all just giddy with excitement about Jack's lecture about jam at Glastonbury.

i still don’t understand why that’s a thing. Imagine you’re having a great weekend, buzzing off your tits, capturing your #festivalglam moments and then you see her sad face whining about more jam mamapapa. Buzzkill

 

[Cack Conroe]

I firmly believe that Jack is engineering a second The Poverty. Hence tax dodging, not paying rent and racking up CCJs. She’s deliberately destroying herself financially because she wants to be an authentic poor. Being a poor single mum is her whole identity. That’s why she was trying for another baby.

She may not have got a puppy with The Poverty 2 in mind. But the fact it will likely lose her her rent deposit, or at least lead to further trouble with her landlady, is certainly a bonus for her impoverished smol urchin act.

 

[trueblue222]

I'm just waiting to see what her bleeping shite excuse is going to be for going to Glastonbury and leaving her pup at home. Come on Jack. You got that pup to heal your heart now you are off to Glasto so where's the pup going? This is also going to be a regular occurrence because if you have speaking gigs that involve a travel across country where is the pup going to end up?

And if you say its no one's business you are the person who chose to tell everyone you got a new puppy

it’s when Jack stops tweeting everything becomes much more light hearted!



i still don’t understand why that’s a thing. Imagine you’re having a great weekend, buzzing off your tits, capturing your #festivalglam moments and then you see her sad face whining about more jam mamapapa. Buzzkill

Everyone on twitter is so mean

Mamapapa Jam water weetabix potatoes pasta Hunger Hurts Nokia phone hurling pasta off the wall sex work light bulbs she left

341 job applications housing benefit delays
She left. Pal. Leggy and me. Marmite bread. Wonky puppy brain. Maverick. Tip jar rattle

Mike Skinner from the Streets really should have written a song about Jack

'Maybe a five and a half in four beers time'

twit and she knows it

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

I think we're all just giddy with excitement about Jack's lecture about jam at Glastonbury.

Sometimes I wish she'd just get really into jam. Normal/fun jam, not like parsnip and egg jam or whatever. She'd be one of those people where making homemade jam was her whole personality, and I'd still detest her, but at least it wouldn't be the grift.

 

[Skyfall]

@von89 as you were there after the 1st book you’ve been there for all the trans Jack era too- how did she explain her decision to her friends? & what of the small boy? Is he ok?

 

[Smeghead]

Looks like so many new names liking posts now. Please say hello and tell us what brought you here.