Jack Monroe #326 You absolutely reek of bitterness, fantasy and too much time on your hands

[NellieBoo]

The puppy blues are real. She's in for a hard time. Good luck to both of them...

They are. Hit at about 3 weeks for normal people, on average, with one puppy. You can reduce that by the number of puppies/dogs you have. As I well know when we fostered 3 puppies and we were crying within a week . Puppies has a bleeping whale of a time .

 

[trueblue222]

This is the kitten scenario all over again isn't it. The bad mentals and saved by an animal.

Also it’s far from the worst thing about this, but doesn’t she pick absolute shite names for her pets? Laurie ffs.

It's a nod to Lozza Fox. She'll be calling the dog lolo bumfkiss pippin by the end of the week don't worry.

 

[Feck]

IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS WHAT BREED SHE IS! HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK! WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING??

View attachment 1359783

Where is, dog-expert-hero-squig ready to swoop in and clarify the breed price and give a stern talking to this absolute hole, when you need him?

 

[Vanelope]

View attachment 1359757

duck the duck off you utter whelksplat

 

[Jelly Bean]

The puppy blues are real. She's in for a hard time. Good luck to both of them...

Quite. There was a point with ours, about 8 months I think, where if anyone had expressed an interest I would seriously have contemplated giving him away. I'm joking. I think. He was a dreadful little shite. Sweetest thing now.
Always starts out well with Jack.

 

[Julia Edwards]

This reply to her from yesterday is interesting (and ignored):

 

[Terrible]

I do think she’s wanted a dog for ages. I fully believe she’s potty about dogs (as am I). I’m certain she believes she’ll be an excellent dog owner.

I’m convinced this will fail horribly.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope she loves this dog enough to forget all her attention seeking made up ailments and give this dog the attention and exercise it deserves. Jack’s needed to turn her life around for ages - and now she HAS to, as I don’t think even the squiggs will fall for ‘sadly had to be rehomed, boohoo poor me’.

 

[MistyWindows]

<insert ballerina Jack here> Actually, who drew this a few threads ago? I saved it in my phone because it made me laugh so much. View attachment 1359813

‘Twas I dear heart

Btw I’m half expecting Jack to come up with some story about Laurie being a tragic stray just like Jack blegh blegh blegh, bet she’s wishing she hadn’t posted that May puppy picture now as we all know squigs have the memory span of a peanut though so it won’t matter to them.

 

[trueblue222]

I hope the dog eats her minging clothes and shites in her doc martens.

I do think she’s wanted a dog for ages. I fully believe she’s potty about dogs (as am I). I’m certain she believes she’ll be an excellent dog owner.

I’m convinced this will fail horribly.

I hope I’m wrong. I hope she loves this dog enough to forget all her attention seeking made up ailments and give this dog the attention and exercise it deserves. Jack’s needed to turn her life around for ages - and now she HAS to, as I don’t think even the squiggs will fall for ‘sadly had to be rehomed, boohoo poor me’.

This won't happen. This dog is not going to help Jack turn her life around. She's far too damaged for that.

 

[Vanelope]

Afternoon been lurking for a while....so a little local-ish knowledge is lots of "designer" dogs get nicked round here, one needs to be careful and if that's avoided, there's a lovely Dog's Trust rehoming centre just up the road, anyone want to open a book on when Laurie will appear for rehoming on their webpage?!

A month

when no one dog sits for her and she finds it all to HARD

baby substitute innit?

poor pup - hope she’s not too traumatized by her short stay at casa Monroe

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Lockdown brought out people buying dogs they couldn't handle, seems like the breeders still don't give a tit and just hand them over to the highest bidder. The RSPCA are not impressed!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

You'll be OK, you goggle eyed cockroach. It's that poor soon to be mistreated dog that concerns people.

Thread title nomination please.

I'm still catching up but I'm bleeping horrified about the poor puppy. Jack should not be allowed near animals if she fucks this up I will report her. RSPCA is one body but animal abuse can be reported to the police, local authority and the dog warden too. In legal terms, dogs are seen as property (which I disagree with) so if the dog gets loose and causes trouble, Jack can be prosecuted. It will 100% be her fault. I don't know how she has got approval from the LL but I think the dog has been in the works for a while. OH is definitely invented and poor sb is being sidelined for yet another poor animal
If I had the money, I would pay Jack 5k for the dog and give her a decent home.

 

[NellieBoo]

Quite. There was a point with ours, about 8 months I think, where if anyone had expressed an interest I would seriously have contemplated giving him away. I'm joking. I think. He was a dreadful little shite. Sweetest thing now.
Always starts out well with Jack.

God. Yes . Let's lighten the mood a little. We've got 4 dogs ranging from 13 to coming up to 3 years old. At any given point I'd happily give one away . Depending on whose wee'd on the floor when they have just been out, kept me up all night (doggy dementia ), been bloody minded (ex street dog) or just little shite bags . Obviously I wouldn't really because they are the loves of my life and my hobby . But they are definitely NOT my babies, even if I appear to treat them so.

 

[KebabGirl]

This is not a good turn of events. Looks very much like a golden doodle. I adore dogs (and most furry animals) but wouldn't commit to one as my job, lifestyle and health are not compatible. Cats are less dependent on you. Her parents have a cat, Cooper's brother, so they are unlikely to be able to look after the dog.

One thing that does shine through this terrible news is how lovely everyone here is, and how much everyone loves their pets.

 

[MancBee]

I hope the dog eats her minging clothes and shites in her doc martens.



This won't happen. This dog is not going to help Jack turn her life around. She's far too damaged for that.

Jack on the phone to her publisher "The dog ate my hand written manuscript. I will have to go and re write the whole thing again, and I was on final edits too."

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Lee, Lozza!! Did you see what Jack got?!

Don’t quite understand the 10 years in the planning but I hope that means she understands the necessity of insurance. These days it’s a must especially if you claim to have an unreliable income or only £19 in the bank. Caring, responsible pet owners will pay up if you ask them but that would be a disgusting thing to do...agreed?

Getting a dog might be the one thing to get her in the Daily Mail.

Don’t question the breed of my dog...racists!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I am also amazed her LL allowed this, imagine having a no human sleepover but sure a potential house destroying animal is fine. Make it make sense.

 

[Hollaaa]

This breeder had 8: https://www.pets4homes.co.uk/classi...cream-and-black-goldendoodle-puppies-ipswich/

Ipswich?
On a bus?
(3 hour round trip. Intrepid. And not very nice for the dog).

 

[Unfluencer]

How much is that doggy in the window? TOOT TOOT!

 

[trueblue222]

I don't believe the no human sleepover bullshit

Does her landlady sit watching her every move with a pair of binoculars just incase Jack is being pumped rotten by a FWB?

Doubt it. Plus Jack doesn't talk to her landlady as she admits