1. It was my initial intention to do a channel handover. I spoke to a group of friends - including Black women - who advised me emphatically NOT to do this because of the level of abuse my account attracts. So I didn't.
2. I did some retweeting, but not as much as I wanted to do. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I was having a breakdown.
3. I clarified that on IGLive the next day. The company supported me from the off. I was breaching my contract by refusing to do the episode, which was the risk I referred to, and I have unfortunately been in a situation with a sponsor in the past where they pulled my entire contract over something similar. I didn't think that would happen in this case, but it still carried the risk. That was misinterpreted - and then the misinterpretation was repeated and twisted and took on a life of its own.
4. I can say that with my hand on my heart, yes. Whether you believe me is another matter entirely, but I know my own mind and intentions. I may not always get things right, I may misfire, I may be a bit of a twit sometimes, but I mean well. And I try to learn from my mistakes, and make things right when I duck up.
Yeah, that was me - I picked up on it as a 'What the duck is Hellmann's playing at here?', not as a dig at you. Your original post did make it sound as though it was something that you had been threatened with on that day, not that it was a historical experience making you jumpy. I thought at the time that if you were being threatened with such things as loss of a fuckton of income/you'll never work in this industry again-type schtick for wanting to support BLM/BOT, that you'd have been put in an impossible position where you would have been roasted online for doing the live but threatened with the loss of what is likely to be at least my entire year's salary for not doing it. Which seemed completely unfair to you.
I didn't take it off these pages, however.