Jack Monroe #289 I see that Jack Monroe is doing her attention seeking thang again. Tiresome.

[Brian Butterfield]

Yeah I think it's a man too

Wasn't there a "the boy done good" comment with a picture of a sandwich and some crisps when she was out on a booty call?

Correct. 20th February.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Call me cynical, but the only thing to get me to shriek and cry real tears, is either a full uninterrupted nights sleep, if David Hockney suddenly turned up on my doorstep for a ciggy and a cuppa or a £1m lottery win to be honest.

You see, I read David Hockney but my head took me to David Hasselhoff. It must have been the talk about lifeboats

 

[TillyMiffin]

I took it to mean that it’s one of her fam who know full well that her dad never said that - hence ‘your’ dad is hilarious. She corrects it to ‘our dad’ and he, quite rightly, ‘nos da kid’ - he knows her. Correct me if I’m wrong Jackie.

Could it be OH?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Fraus, I'm about to make the herbal tea guff. Pray for me, Rev.

You should definitely put that on the label when you sell it, it’s catchy

ETA - scrap that, just read your review!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Cheese on toast and crisps is clearly the key to unlocking Jack's knickers

 

[FlirtyThirty]

The reflection in those shiny eyes close ups looks female shaped to me. Where’s a CSI zoom in when you need one?? I think she’s winding us up!

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Well, that was terrible.

Spoiler: The Tea Saga

I began by choosing 2 teas. Gibbon O'Slop says that all teas work, and has mentioned previously that she's used a black tea, so I went for one with rose; plus hibiscus tea (which I use in the summer to make actual iced tea, and is delicious). As a tea lover, I was excited that this might be the first Jack recipe I like.

I also made myself a fortifying coffee in the Obligatory Strawberry Thief mug, just for you, fraus.

View attachment 1202922

I duly made the tea and let it sit. I poured myself another fortifying cup of coffee while I waited for it to cool and folded some laundry. My husband walked into the kitchen and eyed my half-full glasses of tea with suspicion, but said nothing. As he left, I contemplated my life choices.

View attachment 1202931

When the tea was brewed and cold, I topped it up with some very cold Lorina clear lemonade (fancy). I thought about using the scary vitamin lemonade my husband likes, but decided I couldn't face it.

View attachment 1202937

I smelled both teas. The one on the left (black tea with rose) had a strange, almost soapy aroma in combination with the lemonade. It didn't fill me with confidence. The hibiscus tea on the right has quite a sweet smell anyway; with the lemonade, it was very much like the body sprays my pre-teen daughter and her friends like. Holding it up to the light, you couldn't see any bubbles. Using the fancy lemonade seemed pointless. My son came in for a drink and asked me why I was staring mournfully at "whatever's in those glasses". I didn't know how to explain, so he took a bottle of fizzy water from the fridge, and left. I envied him.

Tasting was upon me.

Frauen, herren, I love tea. I drink gallons of the stuff, in almost any variant (except peppermint, because it's disgusting). This is, without a doubt, one of the worst things I've drunk.

As expected, the 1:1 ratio of carbonation to flat resulted in a drink with the texture of a fizzy juice that's been open a few days. The lemonade I used was French, and very fizzy and delicious by itself. The texture of the drink was really odd; almost thick? I don't know how to explain the cloying sensation as I drank it. I felt very sorry for myself.

The taste was VILE. The lemonade became watery, obviously, but the sweetness didn't seem to go anywhere. Sort of like the lemon flavour took one look at the drink, and decided to Now duck Off. The sugar remained, and the black-tea-very-sweet-lemonade situation was rank. I thought the hibiscus one might be better because it's sweeter anyway - it wasn't. Shower gel sensations all round.

In the interest of not wasting things, I finished both. I wish I hadn't. I have a slight stomach ache, and I think I would like a lie down and a stiff G&T.

As an aside, for any fraus looking for an actually nice non-alcoholic beverage, I can't recommend this enough. I'm a drinking frau, but I have this regularly and it's delicious.
View attachment 1202975

For taking one for the team Cabal

No squiggle because blue tick.

Does Jack just police Twitter for things she can wedge herself into?

View attachment 1203085

But she didn’t ask for vegan recipes she asked for vegetarian.

 

[Lyricallie]

No squiggle because blue tick.

Does Jack just police Twitter for things she can wedge herself into?

View attachment 1203085

To me this looks like she forgot to swap off her main account onto her sock account.

 

[Captainmouse]

No squiggle because blue tick.

Does Jack just police Twitter for things she can wedge herself into?

View attachment 1203085

IF it’s fully vegan (it’s not) why call it vegan'ish?

 

[Powershower]

Oh Squig, I say this with love but you really need to get out more. Maybe take up a nice restful hobby.

View attachment 1202753

Get a bleeping life

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

You should definitely put that on the label when you sell it, it’s catchy

ETA - scrap that, just read your review!

I might have paid someone to take it off my hands, tbh. RANK.

 

[RevEd]

Hard agree . Rev brings another element to this merry band . I’ve learned more on these threads than in my entire school life .

Thank you both (Holla too). It’s good to be here.

 

[Captainmouse]

Yeah I think it's a man too

Wasn't there a "the boy done good" comment with a picture of a sandwich and some crisps when she was out on a booty call?

French bread pizza type effort

 

[FrannyGallops]

Correct. 20th February.
View attachment 1203131

Spoiler: Rank

that looks like someone’s garnished a plate of sick with cat turds

 

[floozifer]

See I kinda like the tea thing. Tend to use Berry flavours. As far as fizz goes the lemonade is a waste of time cos it goes flat immediately but I quite like the flavour. As for bottling the damn stuff what an absolute waste of time and space. Completely pointless. Just make it when you want it. But I spose you couldn't then call it a recipe , show off your fentimans bottles, label it like a prize wally and look all cottage core.

 

[trueblue222]

Yer da sells Avon!

Remember someone did a joke tweet that I think Aberdeen signed a player called

Yerda Sellsavon

sky sports fell for it

 

[Formal Chicken]

Sorry, I need to write some thoughts down as I’m sick of them floating around my head!

• I think the taxman really will be jacks undoing, I imagine she’s dug herself some hole.
• I don’t think she was going to keep money from the crappy merchandise but has made a mess from it all. She def had to pay out of her own pocket as there no way she sold that amount of tat.
• I find it hilarious that not matter how many times she mentions the OH no one asks. She will be raging about it!
• I have a feeling a “breakdown” is on the horizon. Poor smol pixie is overworked and harassed so it’ll all be too much. In one swoop she’ll rid herself of the VBI, get more extensions to deadlines and plus it’ll bring her more undeserved sympathy and cash.
• she’s been on a high for a few months and getting bolder and bolder, especially with the begging. The comedown is going to be brutal.
• We’ve never seen so much squiggles fighting back and I am here for it. Viva le revolution!

 

[moldwarp]

This old set of receipts may help you. Somehow Jack only came close tom homelessness during The Poverty but also slept rough for two years.

Jack Monroe #157 Every time Jack lies, a Tattler is born

I bet she counts her festival trips as periods of homelessness too. Including the festival she had in her garden.

tattle.life

wtf? How the hell did I miss Street Jack? I know all about Lightbulb Unscrewing Jack, Car Boot Sale Jack and Sofa Surfer Jack, but I did not know about Rough Sleeper Jack. I’m surprised that identity doesn’t make more frequent appearances as it is truly at the Edge.

Im joking, I’m actually furious that she would appropriate rough sleeping as an identity. It’s a horrible existence which destroys a person body and soul and many do not come out alive. Indeed i believe that the life expectancy of a person once they start regularly sleeping rough is less than a year. It’s actually horrific that it happens in a civilised country (and indeed the reasons behind it are often extremely complex). Jack, how bleeping dare you. Honestly?

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Well, that was terrible.

Spoiler: The Tea Saga

I began by choosing 2 teas. Gibbon O'Slop says that all teas work, and has mentioned previously that she's used a black tea, so I went for one with rose; plus hibiscus tea (which I use in the summer to make actual iced tea, and is delicious). As a tea lover, I was excited that this might be the first Jack recipe I like.

I also made myself a fortifying coffee in the Obligatory Strawberry Thief mug, just for you, fraus.

View attachment 1202922

I duly made the tea and let it sit. I poured myself another fortifying cup of coffee while I waited for it to cool and folded some laundry. My husband walked into the kitchen and eyed my half-full glasses of tea with suspicion, but said nothing. As he left, I contemplated my life choices.

View attachment 1202931

When the tea was brewed and cold, I topped it up with some very cold Lorina clear lemonade (fancy). I thought about using the scary vitamin lemonade my husband likes, but decided I couldn't face it.

View attachment 1202937

I smelled both teas. The one on the left (black tea with rose) had a strange, almost soapy aroma in combination with the lemonade. It didn't fill me with confidence. The hibiscus tea on the right has quite a sweet smell anyway; with the lemonade, it was very much like the body sprays my pre-teen daughter and her friends like. Holding it up to the light, you couldn't see any bubbles. Using the fancy lemonade seemed pointless. My son came in for a drink and asked me why I was staring mournfully at "whatever's in those glasses". I didn't know how to explain, so he took a bottle of fizzy water from the fridge, and left. I envied him.

Tasting was upon me.

Frauen, herren, I love tea. I drink gallons of the stuff, in almost any variant (except peppermint, because it's disgusting). This is, without a doubt, one of the worst things I've drunk.

As expected, the 1:1 ratio of carbonation to flat resulted in a drink with the texture of a fizzy juice that's been open a few days. The lemonade I used was French, and very fizzy and delicious by itself. The texture of the drink was really odd; almost thick? I don't know how to explain the cloying sensation as I drank it. I felt very sorry for myself.

The taste was VILE. The lemonade became watery, obviously, but the sweetness didn't seem to go anywhere. Sort of like the lemon flavour took one look at the drink, and decided to Now duck Off. The sugar remained, and the black-tea-very-sweet-lemonade situation was rank. I thought the hibiscus one might be better because it's sweeter anyway - it wasn't. Shower gel sensations all round.

In the interest of not wasting things, I finished both. I wish I hadn't. I have a slight stomach ache, and I think I would like a lie down and a stiff G&T.

As an aside, for any fraus looking for an actually nice non-alcoholic beverage, I can't recommend this enough. I'm a drinking frau, but I have this regularly and it's delicious.
View attachment 1202975

Well done dear Owly RR, sounds terrible indeed. Why, WHY would anyone ruin two perfectly nice soft drinks by maverickly sloshing them together and putting them in a (fancy) Fentimans bottle. They won't keep either, they will be flat, and revolting.
I am more cross than usual with Jack. Even the suggestion of her marrying original Captain James Tiberius Kirk from 1966 has made me very cross, the bollocking great

 

[moldwarp]

I think the taxman really will be jacks undoing, I imagine she’s dug herself some hole.

It will definitely be her undoing. Either she fails to file and gets fined. Or she does file and it goes on record how much she’s really earned and can be matched up with her grifting timeline (she knows we have the receipts). Either way is pretty unpalatable.