I began by choosing 2 teas. Gibbon O'Slop says that all teas work, and has mentioned previously that she's used a black tea, so I went for one with rose; plus hibiscus tea (which I use in the summer to make actual iced tea, and is delicious). As a tea lover, I was excited that this might be the first Jack recipe I like.
I also made myself a fortifying coffee in the Obligatory Strawberry Thief mug, just for you, fraus.
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I duly made the tea and let it sit. I poured myself another fortifying cup of coffee while I waited for it to cool and folded some laundry. My husband walked into the kitchen and eyed my half-full glasses of tea with suspicion, but said nothing. As he left, I contemplated my life choices.
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When the tea was brewed and cold, I topped it up with some very cold Lorina clear lemonade (fancy). I thought about using the scary vitamin lemonade my husband likes, but decided I couldn't face it.
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I smelled both teas. The one on the left (black tea with rose) had a strange, almost soapy aroma in combination with the lemonade. It didn't fill me with confidence. The hibiscus tea on the right has quite a sweet smell anyway; with the lemonade, it was very much like the body sprays my pre-teen daughter and her friends like. Holding it up to the light, you couldn't see any bubbles. Using the fancy lemonade seemed pointless. My son came in for a drink and asked me why I was staring mournfully at "whatever's in those glasses". I didn't know how to explain, so he took a bottle of fizzy water from the fridge, and left. I envied him.
Tasting was upon me.
Frauen, herren, I love tea. I drink gallons of the stuff, in almost any variant (except peppermint, because it's disgusting). This is, without a doubt, one of the worst things I've drunk.
As expected, the 1:1 ratio of carbonation to flat resulted in a drink with the texture of a fizzy juice that's been open a few days. The lemonade I used was French, and very fizzy and delicious by itself. The texture of the drink was really odd; almost thick? I don't know how to explain the cloying sensation as I drank it. I felt very sorry for myself.
The taste was VILE. The lemonade became watery, obviously, but the sweetness didn't seem to go anywhere. Sort of like the lemon flavour took one look at the drink, and decided to Now
duck Off. The sugar remained, and the black-tea-very-sweet-lemonade situation was rank. I thought the hibiscus one might be better because it's sweeter anyway - it wasn't. Shower gel sensations all round.
In the interest of not wasting things, I finished both. I wish I hadn't. I have a slight stomach ache, and I think I would like a lie down and a stiff G&T.
As an aside, for any fraus looking for an actually nice non-alcoholic beverage, I can't recommend this enough. I'm a drinking frau, but I have this regularly and it's delicious.
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