Jack Monroe #280 Poverty pimp

[Lazarus]

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Great minds, Marm.

I think what Jack has said here in the first comment demonstrates her lack of understanding of anyone other than herself; this is despite her going to AA meetings, hanging round the Groucho and/or people with a media profile.
Jack has said that she thought alcoholics were destined for a life of crime, jail, and institutions (insert WTF gif). Not only is it an extremely old fashioned view, but it's one which is incredibly condescending and not to mention closed minded.
Betty Ford, Elton John, Drew Barrymore, Lynsey Lohan, Matthew Perry, Eminem, Mel Gibson, Carrie Fisher were all alcoholics in recovery and not destined to be institutionalised. I cant fathom how a woman so young can have such old views of people. Similar to her comments about people on DWP benefits eating burgers in tracksuits whilst watching Jeremy Kyle.

On a grunk so someone might have made a similar point.

 

[jenny2603]

I'm still reeling that she claimed to know how heavy it is to carry around a severed leg

I think we're all still in shock.

 

[moldwarp]

On the sobriety cosplay. Pure speculation your honour but it's very well known that there's a good proportion of people in AA who aren't alcoholics in neither the Big Book sense nor the medical sense, but have personality disorders such as narcissism or borderline, and may indeed binge drink or drink problematically. They end up in AA because the set-up for newcomers is manna from heaven for narcs - lovebombing, lots of attention, lots of immediate friendships which feel close and real. This is all very attractive for the narc as they've often had unsatisfactory experiences in therapy (NPD being notoriously hard to treat as it involves facing some brutal truths which most narcs literally cannot face as part of their disorder). In AA they think they find not only the answer to that deep down feeling they have that something is wrong with them (alcoholism being easier to swallow for the narc than a PD), plus they get all of that lovely attention, plus they can play the victim all they like (the Big Book strongly discourages adopting a victimhood persona but it's becoming increasingly common in the rooms as therapy culture has gradually watered down traditional AA culture).

However the positive love and attention a narc / BPD newcomer recieves tends to die down after a year or so and they become just another member, which does not fulfil their need for attention so they leave, go back to problematic drinking, then when it becomes too much, find a new group, go back in as a newcomer and get all that lovely lovebombing again.

Not saying this is Jack of course! Just an interesting and long observed dynamic amongst people who go into recovery when their real problem is not addiction but personality disorder.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

How does this person not see the disconnect here? Putin is literally killing protesters supporting Ukraine.

 

[jenny2603]

How does this person not see the disconnect here? Putin is literally killing protesters supporting Ukraine.

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I really wish the expression virtue signaling hadn't been abused to the point of meaninglessness by some of the worst horrors on the internet. Because there are times and this is one, where nothing else will do.

 

[instacharlie]

How does this person not see the disconnect here? Putin is literally killing protesters supporting Ukraine.

View attachment 1172269

But what does the 'dead people can't riot' t-shirt actually stand for?

 

[Cucumberthunder]

But what does the 'dead people can't riot' t-shirt actually stand for?

The idea that the Tories want to starve people so that the can't riot or at least they don't care if they starve to death because then they can't riot.

But without context it's just vaguely threatening...like if you riot we'll kill you...

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

We may well have moved on from this but I cant help feeling for her son who has lived with / been introduced to numerous partners over the years and every time his lifestyle changes as they all seem successful and rich, then once they split back to being 'poor'. I dont think this is modelling healthy relationships for him to learn from.

All he has learned is that women lie, women manipulate and women leave. That they cannot be trusted with his biscuits, his toys, his clothes, his trust and they're always demanding constant attention. The reliable people in his life are largely male - his Dad, his Granddad, his uncles - but apart from his grandmothers, the other women cannot be relied upon, whether that's because they leave or because they're howling, wailing, clawing, helpless little manipulative pixies who have the ability to make him feel bad and guilty and scared for them. The poor lad has learned that women are either utterly toxic or that they just won't be around anymore.

If he turns out to prefer women, he's likely to be either absolutely horrible to them (because they're only going to leave, after all) or so desperate to avoid rejection and anger that he'll find himself locked into an unequal relationship where he's totally manipulated and doesn't know what way is up, unable to voice any needs of his own.

Just look at the list of adverse child experiences he's had;

Poverty.
tit housing.
Frequent moves.
Lack of ownership of toys.
Moving to a big house with a new Mama and sister with no warning.
Moving back from that big house to another one with.
Mother in a violent/abusive relationship with the knock on effects of the undercurrent of abuse.
Mum not being Mum for a bit.
Moving again.
Moving again.
Being taken out his infant school because of a breakdown in relationship between the school and his mother.
Movi-oh, you get the idea.
Mum's new partner.
Mum letting him know that she could be murdered because of her 'job'.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
Mum's new partner.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
His bedroom being constantly changed, moved around and not feeling like it's his.
Mum's new partner back as a bubble buddy.
Mum's new partner gone again.
His Dad splitting up with his stepmum.
Lockdown.
Mum being 'ill' so that he has to concern himself about whether she's still alive, never mind the wailing about being in pain or many 'accidents'.
Mum being an addict, off her tits on prescription medication.
Mum being an alcoholic, off her tits on alcohol.
Mum being mentally unwell.
Mum having issues around food.
Mum being a bleeping tit cook.
Mum taking away his escape routes of David Walliams books, Harry Potter books now and policing his thoughts and likes.
No sense of boundaries, space or privacy.
Photos of him in his pants being shared online.
Mum disappearing off to rehabhotel, posting pictures on SM.
Mum back.
Mum's new partner.


There will be a small protective effect in that his Dad and Granddad are always there, dependable and reliable. Grandmas, too. And staying in one school, probably as a result of his Dad insisting upon it/exercising parental responsibility, would have given him some. But it can't possibly mitigate against the constant insecurity he experience in relation to his mother. I'm sure he feels loved. But I'm pretty sure that he doesn't feel safe and secure.

 

[instacharlie]

The idea that the Tories want to starve people so that the can't riot or at least they don't care if they starve to death because then they can't riot.

But without context it's just vaguely threatening...like if you riot we'll kill you...

There's no context with it though, and that's where people will just go huh? No explanation, no background, no mission statement.....just huh?
Much like the #thunderclap (or thundercrap) whatever it was.

 

[Unfluencer]

Police investigate spate of mystery meat attacks after lamb chops stuffed into car exhaust

Police are investigating a mystery spate of incidents after raw meat was stuffed into a car exhaust pipe and eggs were thrown at properties in West Mercia.

www.lbc.co.uk

I just read this and I’m hooting because I immediately imagined Jack doing this

 

[FrannyGallops]

How does this person not see the disconnect here? Putin is literally killing protesters supporting Ukraine.

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Yeah, that ought to bring down the government and end the war in Ukraine

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

On the sobriety cosplay. Pure speculation your honour but it's very well known that there's a good proportion of people in AA who aren't alcoholics in neither the Big Book sense nor the medical sense, but have personality disorders such as narcissism or borderline, and may indeed binge drink or drink problematically. They end up in AA because the set-up for newcomers is manna from heaven for narcs - lovebombing, lots of attention, lots of immediate friendships which feel close and real. This is all very attractive for the narc as they've often had unsatisfactory experiences in therapy (NPD being notoriously hard to treat as it involves facing some brutal truths which most narcs literally cannot face as part of their disorder). In AA they think they find not only the answer to that deep down feeling they have that something is wrong with them (alcoholism being easier to swallow for the narc than a PD), plus they get all of that lovely attention, plus they can play the victim all they like (the Big Book strongly discourages adopting a victimhood persona but it's becoming increasingly common in the rooms as therapy culture has gradually watered down traditional AA culture).

However the positive love and attention a narc / BPD newcomer recieves tends to die down after a year or so and they become just another member, which does not fulfil their need for attention so they leave, go back to problematic drinking, then when it becomes too much, find a new group, go back in as a newcomer and get all that lovely lovebombing again.

Not saying this is Jack of course! Just an interesting and long observed dynamic amongst people who go into recovery when their real problem is not addiction but personality disorder.

Spot. bleeping. Bollock!

 

[Cucumberthunder]

All he has learned is that women lie, women manipulate and women leave. That they cannot be trusted with his biscuits, his toys, his clothes, his trust and they're always demanding constant attention. The reliable people in his life are largely male - his Dad, his Granddad, his uncles - but apart from his grandmothers, the other women cannot be relied upon, whether that's because they leave or because they're howling, wailing, clawing, helpless little manipulative pixies who have the ability to make him feel bad and guilty and scared for them. The poor lad has learned that women are either utterly toxic or that they just won't be around anymore.

If he turns out to prefer women, he's likely to be either absolutely horrible to them (because they're only going to leave, after all) or so desperate to avoid rejection and anger that he'll find himself locked into an unequal relationship where he's totally manipulated and doesn't know what way is up, unable to voice any needs of his own.

Just look at the list of adverse child experiences he's had;

Poverty.
tit housing.
Frequent moves.
Lack of ownership of toys.
Moving to a big house with a new Mama and sister with no warning.
Moving back from that big house to another one with.
Mother in a violent/abusive relationship with the knock on effects of the undercurrent of abuse.
Mum not being Mum for a bit.
Moving again.
Moving again.
Being taken out his infant school because of a breakdown in relationship between the school and his mother.
Movi-oh, you get the idea.
Mum's new partner.
Mum letting him know that she could be murdered because of her 'job'.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
Mum's new partner.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
His bedroom being constantly changed, moved around and not feeling like it's his.
Mum's new partner back as a bubble buddy.
Mum's new partner gone again.
His Dad splitting up with his stepmum.
Lockdown.
Mum being 'ill' so that he has to concern himself about whether she's still alive, never mind the wailing about being in pain or many 'accidents'.
Mum being an addict, off her tits on prescription medication.
Mum being an alcoholic, off her tits on alcohol.
Mum being mentally unwell.
Mum having issues around food.
Mum being a bleeping tit cook.
Mum taking away his escape routes of David Walliams books, Harry Potter books now and policing his thoughts and likes.
No sense of boundaries, space or privacy.
Photos of him in his pants being shared online.
Mum disappearing off to rehabhotel, posting pictures on SM.
Mum back.
Mum's new partner.


There will be a small protective effect in that his Dad and Granddad are always there, dependable and reliable. Grandmas, too. And staying in one school, probably as a result of his Dad insisting upon it/exercising parental responsibility, would have given him some. But it can't possibly mitigate against the constant insecurity he experience in relation to his mother. I'm sure he feels loved. But I'm pretty sure that he doesn't feel safe and secure.

When you set it out like that it's pretty harrowing. I take some comfort in knowing that jack does like to exaggerate so some of that won't be as bad as it sounds, however the constant moving etc. and new partners must be unsettling.

Obviously as an adult she's free to form new relationships and relationships do breakdown but stability for her child should be first and foremost.

What was the infant school thing?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

On the sobriety cosplay. Pure speculation your honour but it's very well known that there's a good proportion of people in AA who aren't alcoholics in neither the Big Book sense nor the medical sense, but have personality disorders such as narcissism or borderline, and may indeed binge drink or drink problematically. They end up in AA because the set-up for newcomers is manna from heaven for narcs - lovebombing, lots of attention, lots of immediate friendships which feel close and real. This is all very attractive for the narc as they've often had unsatisfactory experiences in therapy (NPD being notoriously hard to treat as it involves facing some brutal truths which most narcs literally cannot face as part of their disorder). In AA they think they find not only the answer to that deep down feeling they have that something is wrong with them (alcoholism being easier to swallow for the narc than a PD), plus they get all of that lovely attention, plus they can play the victim all they like (the Big Book strongly discourages adopting a victimhood persona but it's becoming increasingly common in the rooms as therapy culture has gradually watered down traditional AA culture).

However the positive love and attention a narc / BPD newcomer recieves tends to die down after a year or so and they become just another member, which does not fulfil their need for attention so they leave, go back to problematic drinking, then when it becomes too much, find a new group, go back in as a newcomer and get all that lovely lovebombing again.

Not saying this is Jack of course! Just an interesting and long observed dynamic amongst people who go into recovery when their real problem is not addiction but personality disorder.

This is so perfect in its analysis. What's also a problem is a lack of decent services for people with personality disorders and crisis and trauma responses. They are having to latch onto whatever they can find and its unsuitable for them and the people they attend with.

All he has learned is that women lie, women manipulate and women leave. That they cannot be trusted with his biscuits, his toys, his clothes, his trust and they're always demanding constant attention. The reliable people in his life are largely male - his Dad, his Granddad, his uncles - but apart from his grandmothers, the other women cannot be relied upon, whether that's because they leave or because they're howling, wailing, clawing, helpless little manipulative pixies who have the ability to make him feel bad and guilty and scared for them. The poor lad has learned that women are either utterly toxic or that they just won't be around anymore.

If he turns out to prefer women, he's likely to be either absolutely horrible to them (because they're only going to leave, after all) or so desperate to avoid rejection and anger that he'll find himself locked into an unequal relationship where he's totally manipulated and doesn't know what way is up, unable to voice any needs of his own.

Just look at the list of adverse child experiences he's had;

Poverty.
tit housing.
Frequent moves.
Lack of ownership of toys.
Moving to a big house with a new Mama and sister with no warning.
Moving back from that big house to another one with.
Mother in a violent/abusive relationship with the knock on effects of the undercurrent of abuse.
Mum not being Mum for a bit.
Moving again.
Moving again.
Being taken out his infant school because of a breakdown in relationship between the school and his mother.
Movi-oh, you get the idea.
Mum's new partner.
Mum letting him know that she could be murdered because of her 'job'.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
Mum's new partner.
Mum's new partner gone.
Mum reacting to her partner going.
His bedroom being constantly changed, moved around and not feeling like it's his.
Mum's new partner back as a bubble buddy.
Mum's new partner gone again.
His Dad splitting up with his stepmum.
Lockdown.
Mum being 'ill' so that he has to concern himself about whether she's still alive, never mind the wailing about being in pain or many 'accidents'.
Mum being an addict, off her tits on prescription medication.
Mum being an alcoholic, off her tits on alcohol.
Mum being mentally unwell.
Mum having issues around food.
Mum being a bleeping tit cook.
Mum taking away his escape routes of David Walliams books, Harry Potter books now and policing his thoughts and likes.
No sense of boundaries, space or privacy.
Photos of him in his pants being shared online.
Mum disappearing off to rehabhotel, posting pictures on SM.
Mum back.
Mum's new partner.


There will be a small protective effect in that his Dad and Granddad are always there, dependable and reliable. Grandmas, too. And staying in one school, probably as a result of his Dad insisting upon it/exercising parental responsibility, would have given him some. But it can't possibly mitigate against the constant insecurity he experience in relation to his mother. I'm sure he feels loved. But I'm pretty sure that he doesn't feel safe and secure.

I really hope Jack reads this and reacts the way I did, seeing it all laid out. Pure horror and a feeling that this utter chaos has to stop, NOW.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Cucumberthunder]

View attachment 1172323

NHS doesn't fund addiction services, local authorities do. LAs also fund some mental health interventions too. I love facts.

Another fact is that Southend's council funded addiction service is very good Not fancy like an aparthotel though and you can't get three therapists on speed dial because professional boundaries are important.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

GP shopping. Therapy shopping. Partner shopping. Shopping shopping shopping.

 

[Veronicaaa]

NHS doesn't fund addiction services, local authorities do. LAs also fund some mental health interventions too. I love facts.

Another fact is that Southend's council funded addiction service is very good Not fancy like an aparthotel though and you can't get three therapists on speed dial because professional boundaries are important.

She never ever acknowledges her privileges. Like the aparthotel and the 16 weeks expensive dayhab. Nah it's all to do with changing her GP??? Also, she could use this as an opportunity to highlight services people could access but she has to bring it back to herself, she's so useless on so many levels.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

When you set it out like that it's pretty harrowing. I take some comfort in knowing that jack does like to exaggerate so some of that won't be as bad as it sounds, however the constant moving etc. and new partners must be unsettling.

Obviously as an adult she's free to form new relationships and relationships do breakdown but stability for her child should be first and foremost.

What was the infant school thing?

Something about him being bullied at school because of her 'I'm Trans' Guardian articles. I sort of glazed over at the time because when you are looking at Guardian reading parents, they don't tend to tell their Primary aged kids to have a go at the kid on the grounds of transphobia and when you're looking at morons who would tell their kids to have a go at somebody in their class for it, they're not really all that likely to be sat at the breakfast table reading what Owen Jones and Sali Hughes have to say about the world because going OH MY DAYS THAT'S DISGUSTING and explaining to their kids what a bad thing it is in their minds.

 

[moldwarp]

This is so perfect in its analysis. What's also a problem is a lack of decent services for people with personality disorders and crisis and trauma responses. They are having to latch onto whatever they can find and its unsuitable for them and the people they attend with.

I would also add, if not to much of a derail, that having a narc/NPD in the room is an absolute PAIN IN THE ARSE for other members as they tend to swan in, change the entire balance and atmosphere of the meeting, suck attention, create drama, gaslight, do inappropriate things like get involved in romantic relationships with other members, gather flying monkeys, make tension, manipulate, create a huge mess and then disappear. Only to pitch up a few months later in a different room, with a different persona and a different sob story.

Did I mention PAIN IN THE ARSE? Yeah, that.