What are you trying to say, that she might be a malfunctioning robot? A Real Life SlopBot if you will? Is this life imitating art imitating life?It's the selfie posts in between furious rants at the prime minister and talk of death threats and only having 34 quid that make you thinksomething's not quite right here. She's been going through the same cycle of posts for years you could almost set your watch by it.
Jack Monroe #274 I’m Jack Monroe, Rise minions of my echo chamber; tell me how dedicated & awesome I am.
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Babe, same. I totally realise I am gifted with “good hair” though. Face like a bag of spanners, mind
in fairness depending on your hair type you can get away with not washing it that much. ive a friend with thick curly hair and she shampoos it once a week (sometimes every two weeks
) but it actually doesn't get that greasy? i don't think jack has that type of hair though lmao
I bet SB’s WhatsApp group was on fire tonight
SB: I can’t believe it boys she fell for it, she really thought she was interviewing the PM.
Friend 1: Lol really? I didn’t even change my voice.
SB: Mate honestly she’s gotten that excited over it she’s bought us a Chinese.
Friend 2: No emergency Maccies at the gates tomorrow then pal?
SB: No mate she’s played no part in making this meal so I’ve eaten every crumb.
This, is bleeping awesome!!
Ha!
Or she realised her Boris interview would be rumbled for what it was (pure fiction) and the stunt hair is a distraction.
Interesting that other people like her with long hair - I don't think it suited her, but to my eye she has a good face for short styles that are often hard to pull off. Not the current short style, obviously, but I like her post-Allegra look, for instance.
It's interesting that she changes her hair so often and so drastically - that's quite rare on this side of 30, it's usually something you do as a teen when you're still figuring yourself out.
Anyway, I'm in danger of feeling sorry for her, so here's a bit of archive Jack being a dick to her mum - we've seen these before separately, but put them side by side and she really seems like an absolute bleep:
Jack dissing her parents for making her remove her birthmarks, meaning she never learned to swim (also IIRC she does not float due to some unspecified medical condition). Her birth marks "caused me no bother":
Jack's mum's version of events:
It's interesting that she changes her hair so often and so drastically - that's quite rare on this side of 30, it's usually something you do as a teen when you're still figuring yourself out.
Anyway, I'm in danger of feeling sorry for her, so here's a bit of archive Jack being a dick to her mum - we've seen these before separately, but put them side by side and she really seems like an absolute bleep:
Jack dissing her parents for making her remove her birthmarks, meaning she never learned to swim (also IIRC she does not float due to some unspecified medical condition). Her birth marks "caused me no bother":
Jack's mum's version of events:
It all depends on the complexity of your hair.in fairness depending on your hair type you can get away with not washing it that much. ive a friend with thick curly hair and she shampoos it once a week (sometimes every two weeks
Imagine bragging that you just run your fingers though it and go about your day when others have to spend an hour with a hot comb.
Do you even know what a hot comb feels like hitting your scalp Jack? obviously you do because 'my brother is black'
<annoyance intensifies>
Why.... breadcrumb about your son's "extra body parts"? It's a weird thing to do...he has no say in what she blabs on the internet.
Confirmation from Mammy that she was told she was special and unique from a young age.
This speaks volumes, and is news to me. As I suspect to many others.
I think the first part is another poster. It’s the confusing layout of Mumsnet, which seems to be full of “conscious design decisions”.
Ooh I see! I thought it was McJackie It's such an odd way of writing, still. Extra body parts....the mind kinda boggles. "Minor physical abnormality" or something might have been ... better
lads, been grunking for days and am finally here in real time again.
My daughter said to me tonight, that Jack Monroe is driving me crazy on twitter!
She's talking tit all the time and then crying victim.
praise beans.
As for the party in the spite orangery,
I shall bring rusty old tin cans partially rinsed
with jagged holes and painted by a random toddler
for the ambience...
As for Jack Monroe's behaviour over the last few days,
she genuinely is even more HORRIBLE than ever! 'al arse
My daughter said to me tonight, that Jack Monroe is driving me crazy on twitter!
She's talking tit all the time and then crying victim.
praise beans.
As for the party in the spite orangery,
I shall bring rusty old tin cans partially rinsed
with jagged holes and painted by a random toddler
for the ambience...
As for Jack Monroe's behaviour over the last few days,
she genuinely is even more HORRIBLE than ever! 'al arse
Good for Maw Jack. Does that sound like a mother who would withhold a diagnoses of autism from her daughter, then having done so pay no attention to how she was getting on with HER FIRST CHILD and then leave them living without food, heat or light?
I know! It makes the poor kid sound like a centaur! “(not nipples before anyone queries)“ is hilarious though.
I wonder if Jack posted on Mumsnet quite a lot back then?
I'll bring trays of mac n cheese,
Corn bread, potato salad, crawfish broil, etc. Just let me know numbers beforehand xox
Corn bread, potato salad, crawfish broil, etc. Just let me know numbers beforehand xox
so the birthmarks caused her no bother but it also took her years to start wearing shorts again?
if she can't float she should just add more table salt to the water
I assumed it was a tail...
Jack would show up on Mumsnet from time to time, usually to post about herself. She's had two accounts, first MsJackMonroe then MxJackMonroe. Probably dozens of anonymous accounts too (AIBU when I say that Jamie Oliver is a wanker? etc).
that reminds me of this little gem from 2016 on Jack’s AMA post
Me: Actually, I was born with extra body parts
You: Oh?
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: [Wow-how many nipples does she have?] Uh, ok.
Me: I WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: OK, I think that's my phone , excuse me, bye
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: *answering the phone*: Met this woman tonight she had like, 236 nipples or something anyway I'm just leaving, any chance you could stick a pizza in the oven for me.
You: Oh?
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: [Wow-how many nipples does she have?] Uh, ok.
Me: I WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: OK, I think that's my phone , excuse me, bye
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: *answering the phone*: Met this woman tonight she had like, 236 nipples or something anyway I'm just leaving, any chance you could stick a pizza in the oven for me.
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