Jack Monroe #274 I’m Jack Monroe, Rise minions of my echo chamber; tell me how dedicated & awesome I am.

[Edie Po]

Like watching a Dulux Dog mounting a googly eyed pencil topper.

Sleep well.

Too soon ?
Don't start you lot

I have extra body parts ..piles I have piles ..thanks kids. Happy nearly knackered muff day

 

[ChactFecker]

Me: Actually, I was born with extra body parts
You: Oh?
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: [Wow-how many nipples does she have?] Uh, ok.
Me: I WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: OK, I think that's my phone , excuse me, bye
Me: THEY WEREN'T NIPPLES
You: *answering the phone*: Met this woman tonight she had like, 236 nipples or something anyway I'm just leaving, any chance you could stick a pizza in the oven for me.

Alright but can you just answer the question seriously for once without saying nipples......

Of the 400 invitees are there attendees with known allergens or dietry requirements?

And please don't just shout NIPPLES FOR THE FRAU!!!!! ..... We don't know what that means.

Edit:

Why do nipples have anything to do with anything else? Other than some mammalian reproductive systems in which case they are absolutely critical in the process.




NIPPLESSSSSSSSSS

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I fear we're entering straight, ultra-femme, long haired, 34 E, happy families, housewife cosplay era Jack . Thought she didn't have Netflix anymore

Self Identifying Single Parent (no WiFi) travels through time and streaming services to tell Jack don’t even TRY to duck with that cosplay nonsense

 

[Jelly Bean]

Jack's absolute whopper that she was asked to interview Boris has got 10k likes on twitter.
Is this what she is counting on with her bonkers lies? Enough people propping up the absolute insanity of it all - so even common sense, evidence and a track record of fibbing count for nothing.

 

[hollowhusk]

View attachment 1147794

It's called a cold or other virus, they still exist you know. Me and my daughter both had a similar bug last week with negative LFTs.

Good job travelling around London and popping into the house of commons with what sounds like an infectious illness.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I truly feel like I’m about to cross a line here, but this looks like the teaser for the shittest Only Fans account ever. (I crossed that rubicon somewhere between the halcyon days of North Norfolk Nights-aka last weekend- and right now)

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Jack's absolute whopper that she was asked to interview Boris has got 10k likes on twitter.
Is this what she is counting on with her bonkers lies? Enough people propping up the absolute insanity of it all - so even common sense, evidence and a track record of fibbing count for nothing.

It's so blatant! I just can't get my head around it. I hope someone calls her out on it but she'll no doubt have some equally unbelievable explanation. The woman is unreal.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Jack's absolute whopper that she was asked to interview Boris has got 10k likes on twitter.
Is this what she is counting on with her bonkers lies? Enough people propping up the absolute insanity of it all - so even common sense, evidence and a track record of fibbing count for nothing.

That's insane! It goes to show how much of a vacuum most of her fanbase live in. They don't live in a world beyond Twitter.

 

[Lazarus]

How the bloody hell does she get them though?

Grunking, but I do recall someone saying a few threads ago that she must have a tongue like an electric whisk, so I’m guessing that’s the answer. It certainly isn’t for her lovely personality, that’s for sure.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Grunking, but I do recall someone saying a few threads ago that she must have a tongue like an electric whisk, so I’m guessing that’s the answer. It certainly isn’t for her lovely personality, that’s for sure.

Don't make me start thinking about Sex Jack again. Bad enough I'm waiting for my booster shot, without that extra stress!

 

[Whaa?]

I'm on a massive grunk, so sorry if this has already been said, but while I'm glad TT have been paid, something is so off about it.

My work is in the third sector and at any org I've ever worked for we would make a MASSIVE fuss about such a large donation. Sometimes that takes a bit of time to coordinate, as with a large donation you might want to do a press release and make the handover something special. I've had my photo taken with a huge novelty cheque that was for less than a tenth of that amount!

The funds come from the sale of merchandise that the Trussell Trust has distanced itself from. Any celebrating of the donation will result in the association with the merchandise being brought up again.

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1148843
obviously smol pixies can defy science and drink 5 litres.

Absolutely!

 

[Cariad]

She never lost a single hair. Not even the normal amount of droppage you're meant to lose in the brush each week. If anything, her hair thickened even more.

I'm on long term immunosuppressant medication ( disease modifying anti rheumatology drug) for actually diagnosed rheumatological/blood vessel disease , which has also deemed clinically extremely vulnerable and disabled got a blue badge to prove it
Amongst several,side effects sadly my hair has taken a hit and it is now extremely fine and thinning ( unlike my avatar) ....I'd love to know Jack's secret I don't have a Mediterranean arse either

 

[Captainmouse]

One of the most annoying things about Jack is her habit of constantly deleting things. The internet never forgets, but navigating archive.org can be awkward at the best of times, and Jack's tendency to delete makes it worse.

Which is why I had never seen this particular slice of hilarity from 2014 until now:

Dear Facebook, THERE IS NO PORN ON MY PAGE. AGAIN.

Facebook unpublished my page, A Girl Called Jack, today, for the second time in two months, citing 'pornographic content' as their reason for closure. I sent them the following letter of appeal, an...

web.archive.org

Someone maliciously reports Jack's Facebook page. It gets taken down. Rather than a basic email saying "This report is false, please reinstate my page" Jack writes an essay-length rant appealing this, addressed Dear Facebook, and including this classic moment:

View attachment 1148956

What is wrong with her?!

This comment made me laugh
Courgettes-ooooh.
Enormous melons-aaaargh!
Toad in the hole and spotted dick!
Yes, I can see Facebook’s point…..

 

[Vanelope]

One of the most annoying things about Jack is her habit of constantly deleting things. The internet never forgets, but navigating archive.org can be awkward at the best of times, and Jack's tendency to delete makes it worse.

Which is why I had never seen this particular slice of hilarity from 2014 until now:

Dear Facebook, THERE IS NO PORN ON MY PAGE. AGAIN.

Facebook unpublished my page, A Girl Called Jack, today, for the second time in two months, citing 'pornographic content' as their reason for closure. I sent them the following letter of appeal, an...

web.archive.org

Someone maliciously reports Jack's Facebook page. It gets taken down. Rather than a basic email saying "This report is false, please reinstate my page" Jack writes an essay-length rant appealing this, addressed Dear Facebook, and including this classic moment:

View attachment 1148956

What is wrong with her?!

Two toddlers? When did that happen? Have I missed something?

 

[Marj24]

I truly believe after the JKR chaos Jack may take a needed Twitter break, but no, back and as smug as ever.

I said a long time ago that one day she would rattle the wrong cage and the house of cards would tumble. Not yet, sadly but I believe it's coming...

Two toddlers? When did that happen? Have I missed something?

SB and Allegra's daughter

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Two toddlers? When did that happen? Have I missed something?

Was it when she was with Allegra? I seem to remember Jack talking about having two toddlers in the house.
Unless she meant Cooper.

 

[Malkiavelli]

You'd be seriously ill from drinking nearly 5l of water a day. Sorry to be boring but there's such a thing as drinking too much water, it messes with your sodium levels.

This is brilliant. It may seem like a throw away comment but it’s yet another great example of Monroe’s pathological need to lie *all the time*.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'm on long term immunosuppressant medication ( disease modifying anti rheumatology drug) for actually diagnosed rheumatological/blood vessel disease , which has also deemed clinically extremely vulnerable and disabled got a blue badge to prove it
Amongst several,side effects sadly my hair has taken a hit and it is now extremely fine and thinning ( unlike my avatar) ....I'd love to know Jack's secret I don't have a Mediterranean arse either

Her secret is being in perfectly good health. Sickening what she posts to half a million followers who no doubt have an array of legit health issues like yourself, and have to see her whimper on about totally non-existent hair loss.

 

[Spooons]

Example of support being given to the 2022 version. A person that does practical work & would benefit from someone with a massive following giving a nod or fundraising for…