Jack Monroe #274 I’m Jack Monroe, Rise minions of my echo chamber; tell me how dedicated & awesome I am.

[Emmapism]

It's fun to see Jack list all of the 'work' she does in that post. Including the 'monitoring my Twitter account' which is really all it should be. Repeated over and over.

The other work you do is bragging about the work you do. So important. Much busy.

 

[jenny2603]

Why would you want to keep a lock of your own hair in this particular circumstances? Like I’m imaginative and can think of some situations when you genuinely would, but not after the bleeping break up?

Wouldn't you want a lock of hair clipped from the head of your only true love?

 

[ChactFecker]

Bang-Me-Senseless Balti,

Wait, is this an actual recipe? I'm gonna need a link


But please also include the recipe for 'thanks but now leave immediately before finishing this cake' .

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I do think she looks lovely with the long dark hair. Not sure how much filler/filter is going on but it does suit her well

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She would be attractive if it wasn't for the many instances of tragic hair in both colour and style, questionable clothing choices not limited to steampunk leggings and cramming herself into a child's sweatshirt, generally filthy appearance, the atrocious tattoos, the ~lingering honk~, the cack-handed make-up, the Pringles-induced comedy lips and all the sex appeal of a waterlogged cream cheese and carrot sandwich that's sat sweating in a paper bag for 24 hours.

Wow, I am such a massive witch. Sorry not sorry. TOOT TOOT!

 

[Cookiecookie]

She never lost a single hair. Not even the normal amount of droppage you're meant to lose in the brush each week. If anything, her hair thickened even more.

Other than the various crappy styles she's had, Jack's hair is the only thing I am vaguely jealous of. My fine hair that splits if you so much as look at it the wrong way is nothing in comparison.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I do think she looks lovely with the long dark hair. Not sure how much filler/filter is going on but it does suit her well

I agree. Although I bet if she had long hair she’d be swishing it around all the time like Neil Oliver.




(ETA. this is not Neil Oliver. He doesn’t have his own gif because he’s a bit of a prick).

 

[kachoochoo]

like jo march keeping a lock for marmie, only she kept it for herself

say what you will about the curlers at dkl/tartan trousers in the guardian era, the lob was quite nice

 

[Ninch55]

I believe her ovaries were "screaming". Normal people would throw themselves upon their GP in such extraordinary circumstances but Jack dances to the beat of a different drum. I expect it's her lumbago.

it was when she was babysitting for SB’s dad’s other kids one night. I remember the post but can’t remember the thread number. Vile.

 

[Clapster1]

I've just seen that three separate squiggles offered her help with her website today.
I have concluded that she has no intention of fixing it until she absolutely bloody well has to. It's current state give her such fabulous excuses for so many things.

 

[ChactFecker]

She would be attractive if it wasn't for the many instances of tragic hair in both colour and style, questionable clothing choices not limited to steampunk leggings and cramming herself into a child's sweatshirt, generally filthy appearance, the atrocious tattoos, the ~lingering honk~, the cack-handed make-up, the Pringles-induced comedy lips and all the sex appeal of a waterlogged cream cheese and carrot sandwich that's sat sweating in a paper bag for 24 hours.

Wow, I am such a massive witch. Sorry not sorry. TOOT TOOT!

Which is why tinder photos are a snapshot in time and customisable.

Like: Hey for this very microsecond I was not an incredulous cockwomble. Flick to the next photo >

this is me as a 20 year old in faliraki looking cute so you know we would have cute babies >

This is me cooking slop, I do this for all of my partners because I like to take control. Of everything they put near their mouth (wink wink)

 

[LilyLilyPot]

Other than the various crappy styles she's had, Jack's hair is the only thing I am vaguely jealous of. My fine hair that splits if you so much as look at it the wrong way is nothing in comparison.

Nah, I've got thick hair like Jack's. It's overrated. A pain to style and it gets so hot in summer!

 

[Ninch55]

Apparently Jack always grows her hair out when in a relationship, then cuts it off when she gets dumped.

Just after splitting with Allegra:

View attachment 1149079

(back then long hair took an hour a day, but whatever, we don't come here for consistency!)

With LJC:

View attachment 1149082

...and we all know how that ended (IN A REVERSE RAT'S TAIL)

It seems that now that she's had some success with the old Bang-Me-Senseless Balti, the pattern is repeating itself.

Did Allegra a massive favour, imho

I do think she looks lovely with the long dark hair. Not sure how much filler/filter is going on but it does suit her well

I can’t - seriously, it doesn’t matter how beautiful someone is physically, if they’re a vile person I cannot look at them and find them attractive. She’s horrible.

 

[Smeghead]

Wouldn't you want a lock of hair clipped from the head of your only true love?

Plant it in the ground try to grow another one wouldn’t you?

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I bet SB’s WhatsApp group was on fire tonight

SB: I can’t believe it boys she fell for it, she really thought she was interviewing the PM .

Friend 1: Lol really? I didn’t even change my voice.

SB: Mate honestly she’s gotten that excited over it she’s bought us a Chinese.

Friend 2: No emergency Maccies at the gates tomorrow then pal?

SB: No mate she’s played no part in making this meal so I’ve eaten every crumb.

 

[ChactFecker]

like jo march keeping a lock for marmie, only she kept it for herself

say what you will about the curlers at dkl/tartan trousers in the guardian era, the lob was quite nice

View attachment 1149139

Is this The DD / F cup origin story

 

[Cookiecookie]

like jo march keeping a lock for marmie, only she kept it for herself

say what you will about the curlers at dkl/tartan trousers in the guardian era, the lob was quite nice

View attachment 1149139

Why is she in her PJs?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

It's the selfie posts in between furious rants at the prime minister and talk of death threats and only having 34 quid that make you think something's not quite right here. She's been going through the same cycle of posts for years you could almost set your watch by it.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I do think she looks lovely with the long dark hair. Not sure how much filler/filter is going on but it does suit her well

That’s the clip ins she had on again today.
Got a low cost-per-wear on that white shirt with black check, thrifty! wonder if it was died black

 

[SmillieKylie]

It's fun to see Jack list all of the 'work' she does in that post. Including the 'monitoring my Twitter account' which is really all it should be. Repeated over and over.

The other work you do is bragging about the work you do. So important. Much busy.

Jack also spends half the winter curled up in bed with her arthritis, let alone the other ailments she suffers from that take over her day, so no idea where she finds the time for all this work, with tweeting on top and her 25,000 daily steps around the house. She is actually Superwoman !