Jack Monroe #262 Why you cry? No WiFi

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Winthropp Tuesday

Who do you think you are kidding Mrs Grifter
If you think the cabal’s done?
We are the Fraus who can stop your grifting game
We are the Fraus who will make squigs think again
So who do you think you are kidding Mrs Grifter
If you think the cabal’s done…
 
Reactions: 74

MancBee

Wish me luck as I go out to buy
Cheerios, and who knows, Lots of clothes
Wish me luck and wave your money goodbye,
See my tear, Rishie dear, on my nose.
 
Reactions: 54

Winthropp Tuesday

Mrs Slop has got the trots
From eating her prune buns
But when she’s squatty-pottying
She is ready with her (bum) gun
 
Reactions: 45

MancBee

I'm gonna hang out with my Patreons, going to spin them a line.
I've got 4 weeks dirty washing mother dear.
I'm gonna hang out with my Patreons, going to spin them a line
'cause grifting day is here.
 
Reactions: 31

TurnedUpInTipp

'We shall grift on the beaches, we shall grift on the landing grounds,
we shall grift in the fields and in the streets, we shall grift in the hills;
we shall never surrender.'
 
Reactions: 36

ChactFecker

An ode to the grifter by Chact Fecker age, 41 and 1/2


In the South of the country is where you will find,
The griftiest of all grifters who is out of their mind,

Apple I-devices and luxuries surrounding the gaff
But a meal containing solids? Are you having a laugh!

Huge piles of letters are chasing old debt
Throwing around 96kg sideboards, not breaking a sweat

With a drawer full of phallus' if in need of a w*nk
Taking patreon subscriptions outwith a thank

80 hours a week with zero days off
Battling Asda, Morrisons, the Tories and Tesco
The grifter is BUSY, so kindly FUCK Off
 
Reactions: 46

Boyo

“..outwith a thank” Utter genius.
 
Reactions: 29

YenE

Bravo all! You are all absolute gems, and very talented- thanking you all for the laughs. 🧑‍
 
Reactions: 22

squiffle

I was innocently scrolling LinkedIn and found something more barf inducing than the usual nonsense on there. I can’t keep up with the threads so I’m sorry if these have already been posted!
 
Reactions: 64

Orphan_Black

Jack's head will explode once she's grunked all this.
 
Reactions: 31

Into_the_tunnel

Whatever, squigs. You can have her.

She is as far away from a legend as one could possibly be and if they don’t see that then more fool them.

Jack, we see you, the majority might not, but minorities do sometimes win out.
 
Reactions: 37

FlirtyThirty

do you like green eggs and ham?
If it’s too thin let’s add mashed up spam
maybe a dusting or whizzed up ness of cheese
Watch SB yodel, more Mumma, please!

I grind up black pudding, bake chicken for hours
I do not know the difference between flours
What do you mean, it looks like a plop?
This is delicious, elegant SLOP!

Just add any herb, it’s no matter to me!
I don’t eat it I get all my dinners for free
If LJC LEFT it was not because of the food
You’ve now put me in a furious mood!

How dare you, fuck off, can’t you see I’ve had enough?
I’m fragile, delicate, not very tough
I’m so smol and so sick, so tired of your game
You nasty Fraus should hang your head in shame

Because I am Jack, I like green eggs and ham
But while you’re here, rattle rattle!
Because small boy needs jam.
 
Reactions: 37
S

Soapy Dolphin

Hmmm, you follow her closely do you?
Smells like, "There's some flavour of the month over there. Let me have some of that".

From Very British Problems:

 
Reactions: 19
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