One of the things that didn’t make it into the final cut of my transcript from yesterday (and in retrospect probably should have done) was her saying that if ‘it all went away’ as in her success, she’d be perfectly happy working on the tills at Tesco. It was one of those things she initially said in a slightly dismissive way, then modified it with how there was nothing wrong with working on a check out.
Doing the transcript actually made me notice quite a few linguistic moments like that. One I left in was her talking about having lunch at her single mums Sure Start group, she used the phrase ‘enforced socialisation’ to describe what I assume was the portion of the group time which wasn’t spent eating (or stuffing left overs into Tupperware). I found that interesting, she didn’t want to spend time with the others, she was forced into it if she wanted food. I’m going to hazard a guess she basically saw herself as better than the others, she was a maverick middle class grammar school girl down on her luck, not one of your regular poors.
Another thing was her use of the word puppyish to describe herself, she used it at least three times. I know this isn’t new information but it tells us so much about how she sees herself and how she wants to be perceived. Puppies can never be blamed for anything they do wrong, they do everything with 100% energy and commitment but because they’re going full pelt they can make unintended mistakes, and these mistakes must always be instantly forgiven because they’re small, young and adorable and know no better. That’s how Jack wants the world to treat her.