Tory jack
Jack Monroe #248 Let's face it, she's the Rachel Dolezal of poverty
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At work I have a few spreadsheets, my equipment list runs to 48 double sided small font pages (I know cos I keep a paper copy in a ring binder for easy access when not at my laptop and if someone wants something in a hurry and they're not logged on), I've always had one, but my original one was before i had much access to IT and it was handwritten. It took so long to write up and keep up to date I have no idea how on earth she will do her index.
We all know that she won't deliver this, or most of the articles she has been commissioned for. It will just be a case of waiting for this to die down, and it will do as she hasn't got the stamina, or work ethic to complete what she has been commissioned for. She will spend all her time sharpening her pencils and making writing timetables on her wall paper.
After saying I don't shop at Tescos,I found a receipt from there in the car, I'd blown my nose on it when I ran out of tissues on my way to work. Shall I send that?
We all know that she won't deliver this, or most of the articles she has been commissioned for. It will just be a case of waiting for this to die down, and it will do as she hasn't got the stamina, or work ethic to complete what she has been commissioned for. She will spend all her time sharpening her pencils and making writing timetables on her wall paper.
After saying I don't shop at Tescos,I found a receipt from there in the car, I'd blown my nose on it when I ran out of tissues on my way to work. Shall I send that?
What is that bottle?? Essential oil? Cordial? Hand soap? A love potion?
Give-me-cashoulet
Toooooo early, but so appropriate!
Jack and a Bic biro? Making a listy list of lists for her Vimes Diesel index.
Where are the army of willing, volunteer, number crunchin’ nerds?
As Delia would say ‘Where are ya?’.
Speaking of St Delia, she was the face of Sainsburys for years. Those mags are probably choc full of her recipes.
She and her husband launched the magazine. Jack probably thinks Delia only did a few recipe books she is that clueless.
On one tonight peeps. Why on Earth would Jack need all the old Sainsburys mags. I mean, why? To get ideas for her new tit recipes?
Delia is a cut above. In fact, the effort her, her husband and her team put in to those early programmes just shows how little Jack knows about true cookery skills and what it takes to cook on television. She thinks anyone can do it, which they can’t. Jamie might not be everyone’s cup of tea but when he was “discovered”, he was working in one of the most reputable kitchens in London. The skills required of the producers and directors to make the first Naked Chef look so effortless were amazing.
Jack just messes around, laughing about cheap sausages and using non-secret ingredients.
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She’s probably thinking no one will notice if I pinch all these old recipes and turn them to slops!
Hi Jack,Vlad’s here to help if you need it. And for the love of Christ,please stop putting cream cheese in your horrific ‘dishes’.
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My writing is not brilliant, hers is appalling
Still doesn't beat "Why you sob? Russell Hobb" or the "Hold my hoverboard, Lou" business.
Veneers or just bleached the front ones?
Surely if you put cream cheese in an AF winey, chicken stocky mess, it will all separate and look curdled?
WTAF is she thinking of?
Doesn’t matter. Just realised WTAF is going on. Just Eat is what’s going on. She’s ordered Nando’s through Just Eat and all of this is performative shite.
Definite adjustments to the top row, shape and colour have changedVeneers or just bleached the front ones?
I've only once in my life has a private prescription . It was for an out of patent antifungal ( allergy Dr thought I had Candida in my gut a diagnosis that seems much less popular these days!) So fairly cheap common drug, it was £14.00 20 yrs ago. I can only guess what a controlled drug prescription costs, which may depending on the category need two Drs signatures and cannot be on automatic computerised repeat
Could this all be done through #bracesforthestars Invisalign?
Jack, looking for something new to misunderstand:
Hmm, I've done marauding and languishing, I've done the concept of a mullet and I've driven my inability to comprehend that 'Thankyou' is not a word right into the ground
Aha! Percentages! That's a good 'un, but it's not quite enough...
I know, I'll rile the entirety of the French population with a riff on a cassoulet which proves beyond doubt I don't actually know what specific dishes are, what they contain or how they are made. That'll do
Hmm, I've done marauding and languishing, I've done the concept of a mullet and I've driven my inability to comprehend that 'Thankyou' is not a word right into the groundAha! Percentages! That's a good 'un, but it's not quite enough...I know, I'll rile the entirety of the French population with a riff on a cassoulet which proves beyond doubt I don't actually know what specific dishes are, what they contain or how they are made. That'll do
Ummmm. Vlad?
My first thought with Jack and the magazines she probably thinks she can rip of and jackify some old recipes that aren't in any books or Google ?
Her list reads as if the Luftwaffe are flying over Thorpe Bay as we speak.
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