Jack Monroe #229 Hold me closer Tony Danza

[Vanelope]

Jack makes a guest appearance in Felicity Cloake's column this week!

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Not even Felicity can make that look good...

("just a bit too sweet for our tastes" is about as mean as she ever gets, for anyone unfamiliar with her body of work.)

How to make the perfect vegetarian wellington – recipe | Felicity Cloake's How to make the perfect …

This stand-alone dish has the wow factor to cut it for the most special of occasions

www.theguardian.com

Mega burn from Felicity.
I’m very surprised she included any of Jacks recipes on the hunt for ‘perfect’ anything.

 

[Peachy9]

So Jack has given her new kitten 15 nicknames in the one day she has been 'working' from home has she? Sounds legit. Definitely hasn't made that up for Twitter likes.

Yeah exactly. Nicknames and affectionate monikers are built up over time, as you get to know the animal and bond. Not in one day when you're back on a high

 

[Geetbo]

Mega burn from Felicity.
I’m very surprised she included any of Jacks recipes on the hunt for ‘perfect’ anything.

In fairness if you were looking for a perfect way to make everyone piss off home, shouting "sticky brown poo is on the table, dig in" would be a contender.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Ahh I see. She joined TikTok to steal ideas from there.

She's been doing this for some time!! As far back as slow cooker tea/hot chocolate, putting leggings on your head to dry your hair to name a few. It was all doing the rounds and then Jack pretended they were her genius hacks for all her middle class boomer followers

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Jack didn't come up with the name 'beet Wellington' either.

 

[Boyo]

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Cod’s roe. Streaky bacon. Butter. #90%vegan

 

[HotesTilaire]

This is what Jack thinks we look like
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In my case this isn’t far wrong!

 

[BananaSmith]

Her salt cravings astound me.

That might explain all the thirsty pics!

 

[HotesTilaire]

When is our next full moon?

 

[maytoseptember]

Silver, I'm with you on all of it. Two things can be true at the same time - one can be a shameless, narc grifter and still be a person worthy of compassion. I often think her life really is a living hell. Not for any of the reasons she gives, of course.

I yo-yo between enjoying this thread and then feeling guilt for taking the piss out of an undoubtedly vulnerable person.

And then I remember how much she lies and manipulates and encourages people - people considerably less monied than herself - to send her cash. Then I think naaah, I’m still higher up the moral tree than her.

The living hell comment is interesting. I agree her life seems mostly miserable, purposeless and aimless. I think she once thought she was going to have an enduring career as the poverty cook. The Guardian set gave her a good few years out of it. But she’s just not very good at it… any of it. Her recipes suck, she can’t turn in manuscripts and she’s no good on telly. She had two options: cut her losses, fade into obscurity and pursue something else, or doggedly push on and keep failing. She’s a narc with a grandiosity complex so chose the latter.

Edit: I meant latter, not former, FFS

 

[HotesTilaire]

Out of that made up list of cat nicknames, the most horrifying one is “titten” stop sexualising felines and file your accounts Monroe

 

[MooBelle]

Out of that made up list of cat nicknames, the most horrifying one is “titten” stop sexualising felines and file your accounts Monroe

Oh god, she'll be writhing around naked with this kitten as well won't she?
I wonder if she'll monetise the video like last time?

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Have we seen this? Not sure. I don't have a Spotify account, so can't investigate, fortunately.

 

[jordishaw]

Mega burn from Felicity.
I’m very surprised she included any of Jacks recipes on the hunt for ‘perfect’ anything.

I think this is interesting, as other cookery writers are usually extremely kind to Jack; as you say, normally she wouldn't be included in anything like this (thus stoking the narrative that she is 'excluded' for being too maverick, tattoed and working class). Acknowledging her body of work and pointing out that it is not very good is quite a departure (and honestly, boiling beetroot with vinegar and sugar? Her oven definitely doesn't work)

 

[Silver Linings]

Have we seen this? Not sure. I don't have a Spotify account, so can't investigate, fortunately.

I hadn’t. More fool her for not making it private as it feels oddly intrusive. Especially as we share so many similar music tastes personally!! Hopefully this will be like Louisa’s Garmin and she’ll go private

 

[Hollaaa]

I feel so uncomfortable when people post their top whatever it is songs on Spotify at the end of the year, it's like looking into their souls. No thank you.
And very specifically: no thankyou please to Jukebox Jack.

 

[Zelda]

Cats are for life, not just for Griftmas.

Really wound up by the that poor kitten. I stayed away from these threads for a bit hoping for an improvement in Jack post rehab and feeling guilty for being judgemental about someone so obviously having a hard time (silly ninny, I know, I know…) whatever the root cause.

Bloody hell. If anyone who knows and loves Jack is reading this: please change the Wi-Fi/Twitter password and help Jack, the kitten and SB get the help they need. This is a toxic mess powered by an addiction to dopamine hits from social media.

 

[Ninch55]

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Mmmmm, tasty. She is seriously taking the piss

 

[Mrs Bookay]

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Sorry fraus, grunking my arse off here (I’ve been BUSY, ok?!?) so the convo has probably moved well on now, but this photo is making me physically itch - those don’t look like natural fibres to me FANCY though!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Lads I was marauding around other websites (bored panda, it’s always bored panda) and i think people might have stolen Jack’s ideas from the boak book of household management

Spoiler: Eww

Spoiler: Really really ewww