Jack Monroe #229 Hold me closer Tony Danza

[Silver Linings]

Thread title by @Veronicaaa Nom by @Falkor

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Please remember no thread title nominations until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread suggestion’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for Jack facts.

Ho-ho-ho-ly tit. Jack is back with a vengeance. She has a new kitten, Mini. She has forgotten all of her previous oirish incarnations and was successful in drowning last week’s awfulness with red brown lemonade. She also gave a foodbank all of her old Del Monte tins. Quietly, as she likes to do.

Today Jack revealed she has a housemate and only one jab. Her vaccination status is her own business but revealing it in the midst of yet another train chaos about masks was odd to say the least.

Maybe the housemate sold the lightbulbs as Jack’s light went out and she wants to see everything painted, painted, painted blaaaack. It’s offensive. Plus ça change.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Ho-ho-ho-ly tit.

Ho-ho-ho-ly tit! thanks @Silver Linings

 

[gemmacollinsspanx]

BUT has she posted the bespoke framed (ikea) glossy (boots photo) art (iPhone) photographs yet?! I would hate for a squiggle to be disappointed on Christmas morn.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Jamie’s cooking some sharing bread thing with green in it.

Sorry I can’t be more specific- I got distracted by the Tattle in the news/DB doc thread.

Spoiler: OT We love Ina

I know this is totally OT, but if we couldn’t love Ina anymore, her latest post is just off the scale swoon.

Jack has nothing on Ina

 

[Clovis]

Totally would've back in the day.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I can’t “do” photos, but looking at the black = sad v colours = happy photos - I wish the body language guy would analyse some of her photos and videos.

 

[Adayinthelife]

I don’t read for a day and I’m 30 pages and a new thread behind.
Oh my fish, it’s really flipping Jackmas

 

[Mr Krabs]

Getting these vibes from Jack. Cringe.

What’s next? One of those tees that says ‘You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same’.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Would also buy into a theory about Jack being a catfish, although she’s so fascinated with herself it would be hard to pretend she’s someone else

 

[colouredlines]

Jack makes me feel inadequate because my train journeys are so very dull, and hers are always so incredibly eventful.

I'm quite happy that David Baddiel is kicking up a fuss about Tattle. Every time something like that happens, people venture over here and wonder why exactly a budget cookbook writer has so many threads, and bam! New Frauen.

PS: my dad used to sometimes get mistaken for Kenny Rogers in the 80s and 90s. This did not lead to any mobbing by teenage girls. Jack always does it better.

 

[Emmapism]

Another classic thread title from the funniest corner of the internet

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack makes me feel inadequate because my train journeys are so very dull, and hers are always so incredibly eventful.

I'm quite happy that David Baddiel is kicking up a fuss about Tattle. Every time something like that happens, people venture over here and wonder why exactly a budget cookbook writer has so many threads, and bam! New Frauen.

PS: my dad used to sometimes get mistaken for Kenny Rogers in the 80s and 90s. This did not lead to any mobbing by teenage girls. Jack always does it better.

Conversely, Jack has so little going on the train/tube driver doing a witty announcement is a highlight for her

 

[SlopAmbsase]

If I wasn’t in such a Succession obsession right now (and therefore heading over to the r/Succession sub), current Jack might be the zenith of unbearable for me. The sadfishing, the kitten, the black-like-my-soul bleeping Dylon… she’s a cuntal monolith. And this is me whenever she says ‘darlings’ with her sideboard edge lord Mumsnet shitting tilt head:

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

How Jack is making the cabal feel right now ( I know this is a bit much but so is succession)

Spoiler: Spoilered gif that relates to succession

 

[Pocahontas]

Guysss I recently discovered Succession and am in awe of the majestic writing. Please don’t spoiler it with gifs

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Guysss I recently discovered Succession and am in awe of the majestic writing. Please don’t spoiler it with gifs

Sorry.

 

[Marj24]

Vlad is currently recommending this to me

I can see Jack in the blue sweatshirt because this time tomorrow the "puppyish brain" will have forgotten all about the black dye. Also the grey one, many other tattle threads

 

[Pocahontas]

Dyeing all her clothes black. I ask you.
Her story of the train driver‘s quip about masks brought to mind all those cheesy scenes in films when the pilot / train driver / commentator interrupts the scheduled content to say something directly pertinent to the main character (in this case, Jack) that makes everyone cheer and clap. What rubbish.

 

[Clovis]

For me Vlad is advertising gym wear for well endowed women. I swear I haven't been googling huge tits.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

These jeans are black and we wore them in the 90s.

Maybe Jack can wrangle(r) her story to such an extent that she can claim she wore these when she was 5.