Jack Monroe #207 Jack Morley

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What a shame, her son's trainers don't go up to size six so she won't be able to share them with him. That horrid faux wood wallpaper with the chipped blue paint and the knackered tea towel are clearly the background du jour for her slopography. The porridge itself looks absolutely rancid, like granular cat litter or the bokashi bran I put in my compost bin.
 
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What happened to all the backgrounds that were piled up in her fire hazard of a kitchen, did LJC make her get rid of them for our post-Brexit world? Imagine being well into your third decade of life and still finding the concept of a chicken being called a cock so funny you feel the need to put a post on your Instagram feed about it. You're the cock, Jack. A great big floppy cock. Just truly a complete penis of the highest order.
 
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my mum isnt a fan of breakfast.

Also grow up love and the soup from a packet looks ten times better than anything ive seen from her this weekend.
 
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Cant you just imagine her giggling like a tween whilst purchasing it at the till, bet she nearly laughs herself silly when buying tampons or condoms.
 
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It's for when SB's mates find her Insta they'll think she's a cool Mum.
Could you imagine a bunch of teenage lads faces being presented with a Jack special after school treat?!

In no universe has Jack ever been the cool mum.
 
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