Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[HotesTilaire]

Could this be the yellow wall? Ground floor at Westfield Stratford. Not sure if Jack would be that Far East?

I think the yellow is just a stupid filter. Westfield is only a hop skip and a jump from the aparthotel area -which has a number of supercool boutique artisan shops including a non-binary non profit barber and hairdressers for all peoples and all styles. But yeah, Mack hit up a chain hairdressers in Europe’s largest shopping mall instead.l

ETA - Westfield Shepherds Bush is no great trek either. Course, that one has more of your designer high end stores.

Those photos look like the terrible guardian photo shoot where she dressed as a woman and a man. Her “ta-daaaa!” Of revealing an undercut got old even before that.

 

[Limey]

So, she's back with a tit undercut?

Glad to see she's been busy.

 

[Hollaaa]

I think the yellow is just a stupid filter. Westfield is only a hop skip and a jump from the aparthotel area -which has a number of supercool boutique artisan shops including a non-binary non profit barber and hairdressers for all peoples and all styles. But yeah, Mack hit up a chain hairdressers in Europe’s largest shopping mall instead.l

ETA - Westfield Shepherds Bush is no great trek either. Course, that one has more of your designer high end stores.

Those photos look like the terrible guardian photo shoot where she dressed as a woman and a man. Her “ta-daaaa!” Of revealing an undercut got old even before that.

The hairdressers I currently go to has a halo light and stupid bleeping fake plants Instagram wall that you can make a twit of yourself on the internet with, on your way out. I suspect T&G has a similar, more yellowy, set up.

 

[bazzam]

I will never not think of Patrick Bateman when I hear walking on sunshine.


The advice of listening to certain songs to deal with your depression is like the advice of putting on a silly hat to get rid of your migraine, or buying new shoes to help your broken leg heal. Disgusting that this is someone's 'professional output' as a 'journalist'.

it's like something out out women's weekly circa 1984.

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

Oh come now dear heart, we all know that her main job is "conquerer of her own worst fears".

Grunking but this made me

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Hang on a minute…. Is Jack’s article finally coming soon?

 

[Dogmuck]

I think someone mentioned above Haties PR rant (that JM liked) but her next tweet in that thread, can someone advise, does she mean laughing my ass off (lmao) when she refers to herself as a journalist or has she got her acronym wrong and mean (Imho) In my humble opinion? I mean is she laughing her ass off about the idea she considers herself a journalist...cos I am!

 

[MancBee]

I agree they do a very mediocre cut but spend ages finishing it, so it looks great stepping out of the salon and you are left right bleeping mess when you wash and style it yourself and at least 50 notes lighter.

I will add my story to the Tony and Guy wall of woe.
When they opened in Manchester mid 90's I thought I would treat myself and told them to just give me something that they thought would suit. I had no style in mind, I went in with collar length hair and gave them a free rein. Big mistake.

I came away with an undercut at the back, covered by a slick asymmetric bob with "I love Cilla Black" longer points at the front with a "choppy" fringe. It was an abomination. Only myself to blame. Worst haircut I have ever had, and believe me, I have had all sorts.

One friend said "It will look alright when you wash it and put a hat on". My mates made so much fun of me I had a No1 all over within a week.

Jack's looks very similar. Undercuts were old hat by the end of the 90's, hardly edgy and cool 25+ years later. To quote Matt of the Forearms, her haircut is "Terrible".

 

[Whaa?]

I think someone mentioned above Haties PR rant (that JM liked) but her next tweet in that thread, can someone advise, does she mean laughing my ass off (lmao) when she refers to herself as a journalist or has she got her acronym wrong and mean (Imho) In my humble opinion? I mean is she laughing her ass off about the idea she considers herself a journalist...cos I am!
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She wanted to ask the journalist if she was aware of her body of work, but had to STFU instead.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Jack's faved this, which is hilarious to me, as the only time Jack talks about PRs is to witch about them sending her the wrong emails and freebies.

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What a pair of fannies

What did you do Hattler, jump into the middle of a conversation uninvited and demand they change their views??

 

[Switchstreetz]

The more I learn about the Breakdown the more I don’t blame Jack for staying the hell away (she should never have accepted the position of writing monthly for them though).

As an actual severe depressive* and music lover I couldn’t resist checking out that list. Here it is if anyone else is curious, so we don’t give them the clicks. I’m shocked that a certain cover of Landslide isn’t included.

(*edited to add. I’m not mentioning the depression thing in a sad-fishing way, I just love that it gives me a legitimate reason/perspective to dismiss everything Hat*ies’s magazine is about ).

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"Mr Smith what seems to be the problem?"

"Well doctor, my wife left and took the kids. I feel like I have no reason to get up out of bed. I'm struggling at work, I'm angry and tired all the time. Sometimes I go to the park and feed the gloves birdseed while crying, it's the only thing that keeps me going."

"We have just the thing"

*The GP dims the lights and turns on the projector*

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I got sent this story in my Google news feed ..and for a fleeting moment thought I'd discovered the reason for the smol pixie's departure.
I don't know how to link to the actual article, but it says she bought 50 mulberry handbags...

ETA...i know it's not Jack but flippin eck that ginger bouffant!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Oh tit I know whose haircut she’s copied.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Hang on a minute…. Is Jack’s article finally coming soon?

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Quoting myself like a prick because it’s too late to edit and say, both screenshots from @FlashBoof !

I wonder if we’ll get one final Mel Donte post tomorrow for day?

 

[FlashBoof]

It would make sense if she was trying to date & wants the threads to not be discussing legit #content she puts out there. But that’s assuming the most recent thread(s) surface first on google, which doesn’t appear to be the case plus there’s the wiki.

We’ll get sad fishing in the next few days as it’s month end approaching and she’s only gained 3 Patreons this month

This may have been said but, seriously, how the hell has she gained ANY Patreons this month? For what? Is it her mum and dad and brother (to try and stop her moving back to the family pile?). bleeping thievery.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

The haircut will be airing over the coming weeks? Oh god maybe she actually has been given a telly slot again Maybe that's why she's off socials so she doesn't duck it up before it even happens

 

[Lanie]

Me neither. Jack has such lovely hair, why would she want to do something like that to it?

Can i just say daily kitchen was a terrible car crash to watch but her hair back then was nice. Why did she have to duck it up.

 

[waffle maker]

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You are an actual hero for posting this- I’ve been searching for it all afternoon to post for the bantz but got my aging rockers mixed up in my memory. I was searching “cliff richard vulnerable” “Rod Stuart missing” “nan and Pauline”!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@MancBee you've got to stop coming for undercuts like that I'll have you know that I am both edgy and cool.

Anyway, great news RE: curing mental illness with music. The NHS could've saved so much money on a three month out-of-county hospital stay by just handing me a USB stick with S Club 7 on it. I'm binning all my medication, from now on it's twice daily infusions of certified bangers, herbal teas and positive vibes only. Namaste

 

[kachoochoo]

Can i just say daily kitchen was a terrible car crash to watch but her hair back then was nice. Why did she have to duck it up.

it was nice. but iirc, it was also apparently "falling out in clumps" in the asda queue and was patchy, so it went "bzzt"

anyhoo, we've got a queen concert on the telly and mr kcc just did a little dance... in the jack mask