Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[MancBee]

@MancBee you've got to stop coming for undercuts like that I'll have you know that I am both edgy and cool.

I'm really sorry, I am sure it does suit some people. Without doubt your version will be far better than Jack's current peculiar take on the style.

Even though I am not a sideboard I have been traumatised (see what I did there?) by that awful haircut. It does rather taint your view for years to come.

Am I forgiven?

 

[Bloomin Ada]

I will add my story to the Tony and Guy wall of woe.
When they opened in Manchester mid 90's I thought I would treat myself and told them to just give me something that they thought would suit. I had no style in mind, I went in with collar length hair and gave them a free rein. Big mistake.

I came away with an undercut at the back, covered by a slick asymmetric bob with "I love Cilla Black" longer points at the front with a "choppy" fringe. It was an abomination. Only myself to blame. Worst haircut I have ever had, and believe me, I have had all sorts.

One friend said "It will look alright when you wash it and put a hat on". My mates made so much fun of me I had a No1 all over within a week.

Jack's looks very similar. Undercuts were old hat by the end of the 90's, hardly edgy and cool 25+ years later. To quote Matt of the Forearms, her haircut is "Terrible".

Toni and Guy in Manchester were known for being utterly c-rap. I remember them trying to sign up students to some "special offer" that was basically "you can have a haircut on the third wednesday in March at 8.30 am and you'll be expected to use Janine who has verrucas and thinks she's Cliff Richard's love child".....

 

[HotesTilaire]

I will add my story to the Tony and Guy wall of woe.
When they opened in Manchester mid 90's I thought I would treat myself and told them to just give me something that they thought would suit. I had no style in mind, I went in with collar length hair and gave them a free rein. Big mistake.

I came away with an undercut at the back, covered by a slick asymmetric bob with "I love Cilla Black" longer points at the front with a "choppy" fringe. It was an abomination. Only myself to blame. Worst haircut I have ever had, and believe me, I have had all sorts.

One friend said "It will look alright when you wash it and put a hat on". My mates made so much fun of me I had a No1 all over within a week.

Jack's looks very similar. Undercuts were old hat by the end of the 90's, hardly edgy and cool 25+ years later. To quote Matt of the Forearms, her haircut is "Terrible".

Dear heart Mancus,
This means so much to me. As a student I saved up and decided to “treat myself” to this new T&G salon in Manchester. At the time I had shoulder length layered hair which I dreamed of adding “caramel” highlights to.

Spoiler: Me-rail

Whole afternoon blocked out, I saw the stylist and the colourist, explained it all...it was the “Rachel” type style I suppose.
With wet hair, I couldn’t be sure but I thought it was a bit short. I panicked, but thought I’d best let them finish cutting before complaining. My worst fears were confirmed when I felt the razor on my neck. I meekly said “you are doing the layer aren’t you” with a huff he chopped some kind of line mid-ear. I lost my tit, ugly cried, they got the manager who eventually said I didn’t have to pay, with the colourist shouting “well I wouldn’t do your highlights now even if you wanted!”
I had a very “technically” good haircut which I hated. It was the sort of style which looked good red and I ended up doing a chemist box red dye at home. That summer I sweltered in assorted hats (baker boy brown effort and a baseball one, a straw one” until it grew out

TLR I had the same haircut from the same place at the same time!

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

i am guessing “style director” means this cut was at the upper end of the price range. Utterly shameless. Also - still in London?

Don't forget the colour as well.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Don't forget the colour as well.

Wasn't Jack embracing the grey a few weeks back, or did I make that bit up?

 

[kachoochoo]

I've never been to a t+g salon, but reading all of these has reminded me that I used to buy their products that came in those capri sun style pouches and i thought *must* be worth the ££.

they were not.

and the actual smell is in my head now too

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Of course, dear heart. It is but a jest. Rest assured, mine isn't early-forties-mum length on top and doesn't look like someone's just furiously rubbed a balloon on their jumper and then held it up over the back of my head. Where did all the grey go as well? I thought she was embracing her greys. Remember how much she loves 'the way it stands up on end begging to be acknowledged'?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

How many has she lost?
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or £70 where I'm from you'd get a really decent and "fancy" cut and dye from a good local salon.

This may have been said but, seriously, how the hell has she gained ANY Patreons this month? For what? Is it her mum and dad and brother (to try and stop her moving back to the family pile?). bleeping thievery.

Sadly 2 of the 3 were the day after month end, so either an expired or cancelled card of insufficient funds caused them to churn and they rejoined 1 was 2/3 days after which IMO is insufficient funds. This month she had the biggest churn rate we’ve seen so far at about 5.5% versus an avg of 4%, but that was following her majorly mugging off teachers.

On a less boring note - cannot imagine choosing to spend a child free day in…….. Westfield’s she’d be so close to actually nice food too? Bizarre

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Wasn't Jack embracing the grey a few weeks back, or did I make that bit up?

With all the #hashtags, yes.

 

[Dogmuck]

Matts gone

 

[Bloomin Ada]

TBH I don't think T&G are the sole culprits. I remember the VS hairdressers (ironically the same shop as T&G took over) once cut a school friend's hair. It can best be described as a pineapple.... seriously. Her head became a pineapple. This was the early 80s and even then it stuck out. Perhaps a pineapple is something JM could consider being food based and all ...

 

[Dogmuck]

I also, stupidly had several really bad T&G cuts, I kept convincing myself they wouldn’t duck it up the next time...they did What’s the saying about insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result I was definitely in a quite insane period, although in my defence they did do the best head massages

 

[Flash123]

Matts gone

I thought u meant Sir Matt a minute and I was very confused!

 

[Dogmuck]

I thought u meant Sir Matt a minute and I was very confused!

Soz, sir small cock

 

[Hollaaa]

Remember how much she loves 'the way it stands up on end begging to be acknowledged'?

Masculine aesthetic.

 

[kachoochoo]

Soz, sir small cock

vv confusing in this thread! another piece of news I learned from tattle!

it's something, although frankly the entire Cabinet should probably be in prison

on topic Jack's hair is tit

 

[HotesTilaire]

vv confusing in this thread! another piece of news I learned from tattle!

it's something, although frankly the entire Cabinet should probably be in prison

on topic Jack's hair is tit

I’m awaiting an update where the mask has an undercut on one side!

 

[ScamSandwich]

@MancBee you've got to stop coming for undercuts like that I'll have you know that I am both edgy and cool.

Anyway, great news RE: curing mental illness with music. The NHS could've saved so much money on a three month out-of-county hospital stay by just handing me a USB stick with S Club 7 on it. I'm binning all my medication, from now on it's twice daily infusions of certified bangers, herbal teas and positive vibes only. Namaste

I am just throwing a 'chin up and don't be too hard on yourself' in. And make sure you treat yourself a bit this weekend. Cupcakes anyone?

 

[Lanie]

I am surprised she is not all over mr handcocks indiscretions her being all up in arms over lockdownand losing work while he was fiddling the secretary and earning the big bucks

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Wtf is that hair

deranged cockatoo

I am surpised she is not all over mr handcocks indiscretions her being all up in arms over lockdownand losing work while he was fiddling the secretary and earning the big bucks

It must be killing her to not be, someone’s got her passwords!