Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[FunnyFuneral]

I think I'd rather eat grass from the Chernobyl exclusion zone than that fish fillet, Poca. I've been reading and watching a lot of documentaries about Chernobyl and other nuclear disasters recently, it's my new personality trait and even the liquidators who scooped up shards of radioactive graphite with their bare hands would insist on full protective gear before going to Jack's for dinner.

Lest we forget the true extent of the cod defiling here is the original screenshot, thanks as ever to fastest hand in the west @Marmalade Atkins

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She cooked a fish fillet for so long that she couldn't remember how long she cooked it for.

Filthy mucky hands the dirty scunner oh my God having worked in food service her dirty hands make me sick every time i see them. Happy anniversary Jack, do you think you could clean your nails apart from when all the filth comes out when your kneading the dough

 

[Silver Linings]

Is she in one of those anti drug taking loos?

 

[Vanelope]

Smile never reaches the eyes.
or it’s facetuned out

 

[traumatised sideboard]

'Just fancied it for a bit' lol is that like deliberately taking a break from TV? That haircut is business in the front, party in the back except the party is over and you've been dragged out of the house unconscious after drinking too many WKDs because your mate's parents will freak if they find you passed out in the bath again.

 

[Silver Linings]

'Just fancied it for a bit' lol is that like deliberately taking a break from TV? That haircut is business in the front, party in the back except the party is over and you've been dragged out of the house unconscious after drinking too many WKDs because your mate's parents will freak if they find you passed out in the bath again.

I don’t understand the hairdo. Each to their own and i’m glad she likes it but is the back zhuzhed up a la Lynda La Hughes or is it up in a little pony?

Anyhow.

 

[Dogmuck]

Which one is the new hair do? Is that the before and after or is it the same one just redone Or did she steal the merkin pic and photoshop it on to her head. Looks remarkably like one of my lockdown DIY fanny trims, spiky and random.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

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TERRIBLE she looks like a complete state and a right condition. Also like Cooper has tried eating her alive in her sleep from the baldy old fellah side x good luck Coops we're all counting on you

 

[Flash123]

Which one is the new hair do? Is that the before and after or is it the same one just redone Or did she steal the merkin pic and photoshop it on to her head. Looks remarkably like one of my lockdown DIY fanny trims, spiky and random.

Hooting and fizzing are the thought of DOY lockdown fanny trims.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

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Her hair in the yellow picture looks so much nicer than in the other one, where the back is all zhuzhed up (thank you @Silver Linings I wanted to use that word but didn’t know how to spell it!).

It’s interesting that she says she’s taking a social media break because she just fancied it. She’s (speculation only) pretty much addicted to Twitter, so for her to not be tweeting for so long isn’t as casual as she makes it sound.

Also, the “Jx” sign-off is new. Is that to distinguish from posts written by Caroline and her Russell Brands?

 

[EddieBeds]

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Is this Jack’s interpretation of the Karen ‘I’d like to speak to the manager’ haircut?



ETA: Ffs giphy kept putting the wrong gif in!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Who dat?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

ETA: Ffs giphy kept putting the wrong gif in!

If only there was someone at Giphy you could speak to about this, some kind of supervisor, or maybe a manager?

 

[Hollaaa]

Ooh back in the military round the edges/part time security guard look, I see.

 

[Dogmuck]

Ahhh Katie Hopkins is trending on twitter...and not in her usual bad way...that explains why jack has posted.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

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Sir John Mills in 'Ryan's Daughter' It's all I see.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I'm sorry but that haircut reminds me of when my friend cut her toddler's hair while he was asleep. He kept moving and that's pretty much how it looked next day.

 

[Hollaaa]

I don't know about you other fraus but I'm grinning and clenching my fists at the possibility of the bestest grade of undercut one can ever hope to achieve getting an airing over the coming weeks and months

 

[EllaEm87]

I think (I hope) she’s done that to herself.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I think (I hope) she’s done that to herself.

You’d think they would have learned to leave their hair alone after the diy reverse rats tail!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

The replies to the tweet are restricted, meaning we get some insightful quote retweets instead. I love this squiggle, who might as well have said, “well, it will be nice when it’s done”.