Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself
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Get your tip jar out for the lads.I had a look at this particular article the last time Hattie came up. Aside from the questionable content, it's also just really badly written. That's not even me beingmeansubjective: she uses run-on sentences, she makes mistakes like "most favourite", her vocabulary is repetitive ("made with soothing...oils" twice in one sentence!) and hell, she even has the first person I in lower case sometimes. She can't even be bothered to proofread her work, but she's on Twitter begging for free holidays? Hilarious.
Coming up in Breakdown mag:
6 self-care products to help you get over online trolling
How a fabulous aparthotel cured my depression & anxiety
The best Del Monte pineapple recipes for the winter blues*
* written by one J Monroe, just a few months behind schedule
PS all this yoga talk and I'm sitting here with my leg in a cast.How can I monetise this?!
serious answer
1. Be born into a wealthy influential pref white family
2. Pitch article to family friend on mental health and disability who edits society mag
3. Write it without checking grammar or spelling and send it off
4. Pocket ridiculous amount of money
5. Think up new issue for next week
Busking with Billy Bragg – Jack Monroe's Do Something challenge
When the opportunity came along to busk with one of her musical and political heroes, Jack Monroe couldn't turn it down• Watch Billy and Jack busking in Camden• Billy Bragg's tips on busking
www.theguardian.com
For the uninitiated.
First sentence “sung in bands, on and off, for years” (perhaps needs adding to the job list)
Second sentence - The Poverty.
She does make it to the third paragraph before The Excuse so not bad doing, I suppose.
This has been cropped to try to not 🔺️ but look what I did today which reminded me of Jack...
Disclaimer: no Jack recipes were used in this creation
She can't have sung in bands for years, because she stopped singing
a) TRIGGER WARNING as a reaction to childhood abuse
b) because she was too poor
...and she never sang again until Landslide & Stand By Me!
PS @LennyBriscoe I sprained my ankle badly, and the doctor has given me a cast. I have two good friends who are physios who are freaking out about what bad practice this is, but I have to go along with it, I suppose! Maybe it's karma for being an internet bully?
It's what she thinks 'performing' is, isn't it? It's so cringey. It's like when people say acting is just playing pretend for a living. Nah, bit more complicated than that, for a start it has to be believable, engage the audience, be rehearsed, work with and not against the other people on set... All the things Mackie hates doing.
Did you pour the syrup from up high and get it all over the floor?
Well well well….
Attachments
Unfortunately not. I did get a bit overenthusiastic and almost got it over the counter but our floor is clean
I wonder if anyone will offer their experiences? Be interesting to see!
If you were an ‘addict’ I’d say it was karmaShe can't have sung in bands for years, because she stopped singing
a) TRIGGER WARNING as a reaction to childhood abuse
b) because she was too poor
...and she never sang again until Landslide & Stand By Me!
PS @LennyBriscoe I sprained my ankle badly, and the doctor has given me a cast. I have two good friends who are physios who are freaking out about what bad practice this is, but I have to go along with it, I suppose! Maybe it's karma for being an internet bully?
Hope it’s on the mend soon and a cast in summer isn’t too unbearable
mostly off though I presume?Busking with Billy Bragg – Jack Monroe's Do Something challenge
When the opportunity came along to busk with one of her musical and political heroes, Jack Monroe couldn't turn it down• Watch Billy and Jack busking in Camden• Billy Bragg's tips on busking
For the uninitiated.
First sentence “sung in bands, on and off, for years” (perhaps needs adding to the job list)
Second sentence - The Poverty.
She does make it to the third paragraph before The Excuse so not bad doing, I suppose.
Re: undeclared ads and this probably verges on off topic sorry (although on topic we should continue reporting Jack’s undeclared aff links), the tit ASA have just started a shitlist of repeat offenders, it seems that they get a first warning and if they don’t repent they end up on the list. At the mo there’s only four people on it & Lucy Meck is the only one I remember but isn’t it interesting that the advertising standards agency have the same beef we have yet they’re not bored housewives or trolls?
Tattle is ahead of the curve tbh the ASA is behind us!
I've come across this poem on the H&M thread. I thinks it's a wonderful piece of poetry, but why is half of it Jack-related?
Yes, it will. People more likely to offer their experiences I think as they can offer them anonymously. (!), I wonder whether the journalist will mention any of these gossip sites in her article. The Sali Hughes podcast that I listened to was careful not to. - not giving any oxygen, attention to trolls, etc.
You have failed miserably here @onlysunshine - surely you know that there should be dripping syrup and NIPPLES in all pancake pics! Shame on you.
Actually, they look delicious so in no way resemble any of JM’s abominations. Bon appetit!edit for double post
no money for butter!
Singing in bands for years = ,church choir
Oh damn, maybe I should have used a MonroeYou have failed miserably here @onlysunshine - surely you know that there should be dripping syrup and NIPPLES in all pancake pics! Shame on you.
You can see the first almost burnt one but I was bloody chuffed with them tbh. Heat is NOT heat is heat. If it says a medium heat, a hot heat is not acceptable (just for when our Jackie grunks, little tip for the future)
P.S thank(space)you!
Then technically I’ve done a European tour with my band.
my kids hate me singing along in the car and I have to remind them ‘people have paid money to hear mammy sing’
my kids hate me singing along in the car and I have to remind them ‘people have paid money to hear mammy sing’
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