Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[MancBee]

@MancBee I've listened to it quite a few times and it sounds like 'and a comment'. After replaying that initial two seconds so many times I now have extreme anxiety from Jack's massive face looming over me. Fortunately thanks to that serendipitous #gifted AD I've just put in an order for some Neal's Yard Remedies and I'm feeling better already.

Good call, you've got better hearing than me. Now you point it out it does sound like "and a comment".

 

[Vanelope]

A lot of the site is just crap guest blogs for SEO. So many blogs have this now. It'll just be some useless generic article like "10 tips for when you're feeling down" and it'll have some sneaky link to life insurance or double glazing or something. I once worked for an SEO agency, and they used to pay from £150-300 to place those guest blogs, so if you have a site with a decent domain authority score, you can make cash from it.

The first article I clicked on was about post-birth recovery. It didn't have much in the way of citations or proper research, but the last two paragraphs manage to advertise some range of nonsense post-birth products. Oh and there's an entire article about those ugly Snag Tights. Wow, my mental health issues have been cured by buying tit.

I bought some of those snag tights. They are a bit tit. They come in bigger sizes but still run down and don’t wash very nicely.
Unfortunately expensive but heist make the best tights I’ve worn. The high waist comes up reassuringly high and they do not roll down even after a big dinner.

 

[hollowhusk]

Who is PTWM?

 

[Powershower]

Who is PTWM?

Part time working mum. Her and Jack’s wiki put others to shame with how detailed they are! Definitely a good thread to read in Jack’s frequent quiet moments but be warned they use loads of acronyms and nicknames that aren’t in the wiki.

 

[onlysunshine]

I AM BACK IN REAL TIME.

Real life chaos may have temporarily held me back but I'm a determined bugger.

Also, thanks for going away again Jack, much appreciated.

Well lads, herr & frauen, who would have thought so much, yet so little would have happened between us talking about @drusy playing catch up and now.

Kind of waiting for a story to be sold to Take a Break or similar to find out Jack's version of events for the last couple of months.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I AM BACK IN REAL TIME.

Real life chaos may have temporarily held me back but I'm a determined bugger.

Also, thanks for going away again Jack, much appreciated.

Well lads, herr & frauen, who would have thought so much, yet so little would have happened between us talking about @drusy playing catch up and now.

Kind of waiting for a story to be sold to Take a Break or similar to find out Jack's version of events for the last couple of months.

Great to see Jimmy's "sad little face" back on the thread (and you with it!)

Ain't no doubt () that she's cooking up a mega chaos for us at some point in the future

 

[Toffee finger]

Part time working mum. Her and Jack’s wiki put others to shame with how detailed they are! Definitely a good thread to read in Jack’s frequent quiet moments but be warned they use loads of acronyms and nicknames that aren’t in the wiki.

They are fabulous wiki entries. Have to mention @ot55 detailed wiki for the Jade Billington thread too if anyone wants another idiot to read about while Jack isn’t doing a chaos.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

My herring is exceedingly good due to my neurodivergence, dear Mancunian heart. Not only can I decipher Jack's out-of-context broad Estuary mumblings but I can hear all my DNA replicating, the earth itself rotating on its axis and stitches in the very fabric of spacetime.

 

[HotesTilaire]

My herring is exceedingly good due to my neurodivergence, dear Mancunian heart. Not only can I decipher Jack's out-of-context broad Estuary mumblings but I can hear all my DNA replicating, the earth itself rotating on its axis and stitches in the very fabric of spacetime.

Out of all those fishy sounds, which is the worst?

 

[Shawads]

By the way today is the anniversary of the free school meals uproar in UK (though not sure if Jack had stuck her take in yet)

She was very BUSY posting pictures of herself as a man
View attachment 622888Leading to this brutal takedown by a squig

View attachment 622889

Such a creepy photo. The facial expression makes me feel icky

 

[sarahjay]

I’m not a massive twitter user (follow about 500 people) and Jack is the only person I have actually seen with that ‘tip’ thing activated!

 

[Captainmouse]

I’m not a massive twitter user (follow about 500 people) and Jack is the only person I have actually seen with that ‘tip’ thing activated!

She couldn’t activate it quick enough fastest finger first

 

[Lanie]

I don't get it. She's activated it but not posted anything of much consequence. IE food stuff. That to me is like a restaurant putting out a great big tip jar and then not bothering to serve any customers.



Do people now get tips for being just an awesome person. Perhaps I should get on that?! Don't think I will make much mind.

 

[colouredlines]

HG just posted yesterday on twitter about how she's repping the CBD stuff and wants to do advertorials in other publications! Also, how's this for advertising - under the guise of ~self care~ of course ... https://the-breakdown.co.uk/neals-y...x-reminded-me-of-what-self-care-is-all-about/

I had a look at this particular article the last time Hattie came up. Aside from the questionable content, it's also just really badly written. That's not even me being mean subjective: she uses run-on sentences, she makes mistakes like "most favourite", her vocabulary is repetitive ("made with soothing...oils" twice in one sentence!) and hell, she even has the first person I in lower case sometimes. She can't even be bothered to proofread her work, but she's on Twitter begging for free holidays? Hilarious.

Coming up in Breakdown mag:

6 self-care products to help you get over online trolling

How a fabulous aparthotel cured my depression & anxiety

The best Del Monte pineapple recipes for the winter blues*

* written by one J Monroe, just a few months behind schedule

PS all this yoga talk and I'm sitting here with my leg in a cast. How can I monetise this?!

 

[Fruitjack]

I just read the Jack Wiki, great work people! I also clicked on some of the links and got to the Kickstarter. Bloody hell, her intro to that is absolutely incredible. If I’d donated to that and saw her now I’d be absolutely furious.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I had a look at this particular article the last time Hattie came up. Aside from the questionable content, it's also just really badly written. That's not even me being mean subjective: she uses run-on sentences, she makes mistakes like "most favourite", her vocabulary is repetitive ("made with soothing...oils" twice in one sentence!) and hell, she even has the first person I in lower case sometimes. She can't even be bothered to proofread her work, but she's on Twitter begging for free holidays? Hilarious.

Coming up in Breakdown mag:

6 self-care products to help you get over online trolling

How a fabulous aparthotel cured my depression & anxiety

The best Del Monte pineapple recipes for the winter blues*

* written by one J Monroe, just a few months behind schedule

PS all this yoga talk and I'm sitting here with my leg in a cast. How can I monetise this?!

Oh no, hope you’re ok CL!

In the whole time I’ve been following Jack’s threads I don’t think she’s ever announced she’s doing something and then done actually done it in a reasonable timescale (or mostly not at all actually ). I think I’ll try it this week with my boss! She was very quick to blame us for not getting work or work going wrong but for someone who claimed she could bash out an article in 10 minutes, it bloody took her long enough!

 

[FlashBoof]

Oh no, hope you’re ok CL!

In the whole time I’ve been following Jack’s threads I don’t think she’s ever announced she’s doing something and then done actually done it in a reasonable timescale (or mostly not at all actually ). I think I’ll try it this week with my boss! She was very quick to blame us for not getting work or work going wrong but for someone who claimed she could bash out an article in 10 minutes, it bloody took her long enough!

And it is never ever EVER her fault. It’s always someone or something else. We should have a “Blame List”. It would be as long as the “To Do” list. We all know the famous examples (a vigil, a cut foot, a partner hogging the broadband etc).

I was reminded yesterday as to how she does this as I stumbled across the Guardian article/video about her busking and doing Tracy Chapmen & Bob Dylan a disservice. There was a Twitter thread about people embarrassing themselves thinking their favourite bands were being ‘covered’ by the original artists and it lead me there. Of COURSE she had a sore throat and lost her voice, the day before she had her only high profile singing gig, ever. I am cringing at the thought. It would have been fine to say “Mate, I am absolutely shitting myself - you are Billy Bragg and we are outside a very busy tube station”. But no, it’s all “sore throat - lost voice”.

By the way - “singing in bands for years”? - that is a new one on me...has anyone got any more info on that? I am thinking a bit of drunken karaoke but would love to be proved wrong on that account (with pics/videos). Far more entertaining blast from the past than grot shots in her pants.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

And it is never ever EVER her fault. It’s always someone or something else. We should have a “Blame List”. It would be as long as the “To Do” list. We all know the famous examples (a vigil, a cut foot, a partner hogging the broadband etc).

I was reminded yesterday as to how she does this as I stumbled across the Guardian article/video about her busking and doing Tracy Chapmen & Bob Dylan a disservice. There was a Twitter thread about people embarrassing themselves thinking their favourite bands were being ‘covered’ by the original artists and it lead me there. Of COURSE she had a sore throat and lost her voice, the day before she had her only high profile singing gig, ever. I am cringing at the thought. It would have been fine to say “Mate, I am absolutely shitting myself - you are Billy Bragg and we are outside a very busy tube station”. But no, it’s all “sore throat - lost voice”.

By the way - “singing in bands for years”? - that is a new one on me...has anyone got any more info on that? I am thinking a bit of drunken karaoke but would love to be proved wrong on that account (with pics/videos). Far more entertaining blast from the past than grot shots in her pants.

Good god no, she was in a band?! Surely they didn’t let her loose with the instruments…but then that would leave her singing and that’s worse.

Nope. Got to be bullshit. I hope.

 

[NP]

Good god no, she was in a band?! Surely they didn’t let her loose with the instruments…but then that would leave her singing and that’s worse.

Nope. Got to be bullshit. I hope.

I’m sure she was lead guitarist, pianist AND the lead singer.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Oh, the YouTube clip of her singing Landslide..I cringed my self inside out and back again. Not just her singing but the faux coyness. Gotta stop typing now lest I cringe again.