Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[Yel]

Just read the Grazia piece. Influencers don’t owe anyone anything. What about the folk they receive money from who in return get fuck all?
Admin - not sure if I am allowed to screenshot. Let me know and I will delete.

Someone with a small account that doesn't even have a tattle thread nore I can find any mention of is talking about the terror of being torn apart on here . Someone's thirsty and will say anything inventive to get it.

Members of the public don't owe influencers anything, it's not our responsibility to look after them and protect them from the negative aspects that fame has always carried.

And male dominated sites are just the same, have these people never read sports based sites? There the public figures rial against actual abuse and hate crimes, not just hurt feelings.

 

[MancBee]

Jack asked if there was a time limit on when to tweet support for Marcus and Tom. Well I think by any measure, whatever the time limit, it has passed.

Jack should be ashamed that she's not given any support or exposure to the Full Time Meals project. Especially as she spent time in the company of Marcus and presented his award.

Does she not realise that it would show her in a good light to support others fighting for the same causes. Far from reducing her opportunities, she would forge links and professional partnerships.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, eeeeMAGINE being in any sort of rehab
with Jack Monroe.
No no, no no no no, no no no no

They tried to make me go to rehab (with Jack Monroe)
And I said 'no, no, no'
She fed me grim slop, please make it stop
It was slow, slow, slow (cooked)
I ain't got the thyme, she said juniper was fine
Tried to make me go to rehab
I won't go, go, go

 

[Captainmouse]

When you take off your hat
and you’re sporting kumquat
that’s a molee

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Don't think this has been shared yet? Sorry if it has, I've been chopping my Summer neeps for the cassostew.
In reply to the retweet of the Role Model nomination

LOLLLLZ

 

[colouredlines]

She’s still in the hotel, those are their walls.

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She's spent so much on this aparthotel now that she'll need Christian Jessen to tweet about her just to break even...

 

[Switchstreetz]

Can't believe she's left Paul and the rest of the world hanging like this...my pet theory is she's got Pythagoras' theorem mixed up with something else, realised her mistake but is too embarrassed to correct it

Bonus: the closing paragraph from that article from the other day where she made up a conversation with her son on the train.

 

[Flash123]

When you hoot and you fizz
Bechamel looks like jizz
That’s a mole!

 

[MancBee]

When you've a wig on your head
Looks like you're straight out of bed
That's a mole

When the doc's by your bed
Prescribing lipstick, bright red
That's a moleeee

When you cook in your shed
And we can't see your head
That's a moleeee


I must stop.

 

[schmetterling]

When your slop is cookin' slow
And your labia hangin' low
That's amoleeeeeee

 

[MancBee]

When you let down your fans with your manky old pans, that’s a moollllllle

I wonder if she is making up her own verses,

When I cook cassoulet
The cabal they all say
Where's the moleeeee?

When on Sundays I tweet
And give the cabal a treat
Where's the moleeee?

When the cassoulet's cooked
In the bin it is chucked
like my moleeee

Now the cabal all know
where my cooking does go
holy moleeee

 

[Tabitha D]

I’m on a bit of a Grunk, so forgive me if you’ve all moved on: but a few words about this C4 series with Prue Leith and Dr Rupy. For those who’ve not seen it, it’s about using leftovers and is sponsored by Hellmann’s. Alongside the series, Dr Rupy is also doing some TV ads for Hellmann’s on the same theme.
Going back a year, Jack did that atrocious cack-handed effort for Hellmann’s which was supposed to be about using leftovers.
Just imagine - if she had made even 10% of an effort (which she very much didn’t), she might have been in line for this new TV series, and the TV ads.
Dr Rupy is another one whose profile was raised quite a bit during the pandemic, and was a regular guest on DKL and subsequently Saturday Kitchen.
Given Jack’s alleged USP of low-cost meals/utilising leftovers, you’d think she would have been well-placed to make a real contribution when the pandemic hit. But no. God knows why people kept giving her unearned opportunities, but she didn’t appreciate it and fucked up every one, leaving a trail of seriously unimpressed TV execs and sponsors in her wake.
(And no, the “leftover larder” thing she did on Twitter doesn’t count - it lasted about 3 days in total, and there were no actual recipes - just “bung it in a curry/dhal/slop” etc.)
She has the most appalling sense of entitlement, like she thinks she deserves to be some multi-millionaire food writer without even putting in the most basic level of effort. She’s had so many opportunities just land in her lap, and she only has herself to blame for not making the most of these.
p.s. on last night’s show, Prue actually had a tip for leftover chippy chips.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Please lord give us more influencer Jack content

That skirt looks like the sateen Wilkos pillows you get with matching curtains, bed linen, etc that either come in red flowers or blue and purple stripes. She’s been had for £4.99 x

 

[ThunderClapForCapers]

I think that’s H*ttie’s company. I’m so worried we’re going to candyman her here again!

She is a lurker.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I had a bowl cut in secondary school circa 1999. I feel I've grown into a more resilient woman as a result.

eta: i wanted it to look like david beckham's. didn't figure the lesbian thing out for another year or two tho despite that

 

[hydeist]

Now I'm not saying this charity shop skirt story is bullshit, but I am saying John Lewis sells the skirt.

Warehouse Stripe Jacquard Skirt, Multi at John Lewis & Partners

Buy Warehouse Stripe Jacquard Skirt, Multi from our Women's Skirts range at John Lewis & Partners. Free Delivery on orders over £50.

www.johnlewis.com

 

[Pocahontas]

Leo and Jada daring each other to leave the chat first

Footage of Leo refusing the peach curry. (He’s already said a hard no to drawing Jack like one of his French girls)

 

[Dogmuck]

And there we have it. That’ll do. Food that’s been cooked to death and offers none of its original flavours, textures and quite possibly nutritional value. Obviously is now brown. Bravo Jack you did it again.

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

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Omg. Juniper berries? Seriously?
...a stew with a gin flavour.
Edit to add: it tastes nothing like rosemary you fucking idiot

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I just want Tiggy + Bo to notice me and be #gifted one of their beautiful groundbreaking innovative bags. You see whenever I leave my home I have to carry all the items I want to take with me in my hands and it's rather a bother. I'm unable to pick up any items in supermarkets and have to fall dramatically on the floor and start wailing and clawing so that a member of staff takes pity on me and gets all my shopping for me but Asda have said if I do it again they'll call the police.