Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[HotesTilaire]

Congratulations to @traumatised sideboard for the words and @Carmina-Piranha for nominating them! I’m just making some black bean and mole sauce sauce sloup for you overnight, I’ll bring it in tomorrow, yeah?

My apologies but I took the liberty of changing the word “mother” to “mama”. Sue me if you like, I’ll start a gofundme to pay the bill.

In our last thread
1. Jack is back on Twitter but only sometimes like when there’s a time lapse video of room reorganisation to promote
2. Did you know mole has dark chocolate in it? FANCY!
3. Jack was making black bean soup “to take in for everyone” no pictures (sob! <it’s been 84 years> gif)
4. there was occasional promotion of the “how to read your electric bill/how NOT to pronounce ‘kilowatt hour’ ad”
5. Within about two obnoxious tweets the cabal decided they like it better when Jack is away
6. 9 months and still no “thrifty shades of beige” weekly original recipe postcards to the patreons. Shady!
7. The cabal has had enough of breadcrumbs and started a singsong, because when when smol pixies attract their ire by being a grifter and a liar, that’s Mon-roleeee

Spoiler: Housekeeping

 

[Emmapism]

Thanks for new thread @HotesTilaire !

Added 'founder of #thatsamole rhyme' to my Twitter bio. Have loved reading all of them

But give it a week and I will have forgotten all about it.

 

[Shawads]

This is a going back a few threads but I've found something that fack didn't lie about, Holland and Barrett, vague but check out what ii had to buy today. Caveat : I'm not jack but I am wearing a denim shirt. Which I call a shacket just to piss off my kids.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Brilliant lads, I’m back from cabal furlough, bit rusty on the thread making but I got there in the end.
I love trifle defender. She’s just so....able to cook.

 

[PortiaControl]

A little ode to piano Jack...

When you call yourself maestro
And put on a trite show
That's amoleee

When you hammer the keys
with a display of unease
that's amoleeeee

When your musical binge
makes everyone cringe
that's amoleeeee

Thanks for the new thread Hotes!

 

[Shawads]

Terrible uploading skills

 

[schmetterling]

When your slop is cookin' slow
And your labia hangin' low
That's amoleeeeeee

 

[HotesTilaire]

Terrible uploading skills

You got there in the end. I need the full 30 min edit period to rewrite the thread intro 10 times minimum.
How expensive was the parrot juice?

 

[Jelly Bean]

This is a going back a few threads but I've found something that fack didn't lie about, Holland and Barrett, vague but check out what ii had to buy today. Caveat : I'm not jack but I am wearing a denim shirt. Which I call a shacket just to piss off my kids.
View attachment 602721View attachment 602721

Was that the container she promised to send to someone? Hope that person isn't holding their breath.

 

[Mr Krabs]

When you’re feeling bereft
Just because SHE LEFT.
That’s a-mole

When you’re scrounging for tips
Even though your dad’s rich,
That’s a-mole

 

[Nottonightbabe]

When you're a lazy arse mare
Always think life's unfair
That's a mole

When you hate that you RENT
And your morals are bent
That's a moleeeeee!

Ah these are far more entertaining than Jack herself

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

When HMRC
Sort u a gaff out for free
That’s amolé

 

[holliebollie]

This could explain A LOT:

I’m sure someone on here recommended Fesshole, some of them are just

 

[Captainmouse]

When you're a lazy arse mare
Always think life's unfair
That's a mole

When you hate that you RENT
And your morals are bent
That's a moleeeeee!

Ah these are far more entertaining than Jack herself

bib
Low bar

 

[MancBee]

When you chop off your hair
'cause life just isn't fair
That's a moleeee

When you only cook slop
And you really should stop
That's a moleeee

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

When you’re scared of the ICO,
Cos you owe them some dough,
That’s amolééé

 

[indigomoon]

When your life is a lie
Serve your pals horse spunk pie
That’s a moleeee!

When your fridge is a smeg
But to Patreons you beg
That’s a moleeee!

 

[kachoochoo]

who is a fool
in a yellow cagoule
that's monroé

 

[MancBee]

Your face pictures appeared
It's facetune makes them weird
That's a moleeee

 

[Clarends]

When Tom and Marcus got you beat
So FulltimeMeals you won't retweet
That's a moleee