Jack Monroe #190 The sloppening

[Suffolkmum]

She has got a full-size keyboard, she's shown Blair Witch-style footage of her son playing it. He was far more competent than Jack's self-indulgent ivory assault so hopefully his dad is encouraging him to take lessons and he's not under his mother's tutelage.

I must admit I do quite often play my keyboard with only one hand at a time but that's because it is only two octaves so is very smol. Also I'm tit at piano I stopped lessons twenty years ago to play guitar instead as it's way cooler and easier. Apologies to my piano teacher who would be appalled at Pet Slop Bots even though I am quite sure that my piano teacher is DEAD, EDWINA.

Maybe she's helping a distraught landlady retile a kitchen floor hopefully she's just busy in a good way with real life

After seeing the state of that kitchen, I’m being to think that Jacks been evicted.

 

[Zelda]

It seems like it could be connected with the chaos over the sex abuse / stalker allegations against someone very identifiable.

Maybe someone in her life finally realised how batshit her Twitter feed was for a “professional” “campaigner” and “food writer”.

Whether she’s sorted herself out or not....I guess we’ll have to wait for the inevitable My Journey Back From Hell article in the Guardian.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I actually think she's been worse on her little returns. More snarky, more bread crumbing, more pity partying.

I see what you mean there, but more recently it's like somebody has scolded and told her to take it seriously. On the other hand, I keep expecting her to pop up any second in a new gaff, boasting about it

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Thinking of the little returns to Twitter, remember this?! It’s even worse now realising it wasn’t for herself.

(Screenshot from @Marmalade Atkins )

 

[Lanie]

I know Im wrong but I hope the twitter silence is because she getting appropriate attention from her friends and family and therefore she doesn't require love from complete strangers.

 

[Captainmouse]

I know Im wrong but I hope the twitter silence is because she getting appropriate attention from her friends and family and therefore she doesn't require love from complete strangers.

Do you have a thermometer to hand?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Lanie]

I wonder if the break is also more of an involuntary one, due to the lack of connections to things one used to be all over.

Sort of like a Ross from friends break over the sandwich.

 

[Silver Linings]

Mmm, boney.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I agree I think it's a legal thing, something serious she's trying to worm her way out of. NOTHING has kept Jack off Twitter since the day and hour she created the account.

She’s been reported to the ICO at least once that we know of, anyone else who’s horrified at her site’s lack of privacy policy / cookie disclosures could have also done so.

Ngl I will attend court in person, not had much on this pandemic x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

In the hypothetical dinner party scenario, I would rather eat swamp soup, headrush spaghetti with sweaty garlic bread and trifle tanned with cheap gold spray than I would spend even one minute in Jack's company. Even if I were to put ear plugs in with headphones over the top blasting my 80s playlist on Spotify I don't think I could cope with her existence in such close proximity, knowing she was looming over my shoulder brimming with puppyish chaos energy and writhing in ecstasy while she hoofs all her courses as soon as the chef brings them out. I'm getting the rage just imagining it.

 

[Hollaaa]

View attachment 580991

So is this also part of the Mel Donte deal (with "in partnership with" on the article) or is this a stretching of the original pineapple chicken concept à la boiling the bones the next day?
And is that a fork or a screwdriver or what?

 

[gashlycrumbtiny]

Just saw on BBC News that HMRC have threatened to shut down Goop’s UK operations because Gwyneth Paltrow hasn’t submitted her full 2019 accounts, so Jack may be facing a reckoning very soon. Fingers crossed for a chaos, but Jack’s going to have to make it a good one because her Scottish counterpart’s thread has been wildly entertaining.

 

[BananaSmith]

I’ve been unfair, there’s post court pics of her on shutterstock. I can smell this picture.

View attachment 580444

Did you miss this one of just her hair?

 

[Captainmouse]

So is this also part of the Mel Donte deal (with "in partnership with" on the article) or is this a stretching of the original pineapple chicken concept à la boiling the bones the next day?
And is that a fork or a screwdriver or what?

I took several looks at that, and wasn’t sure

 

[Mr Krabs]

Christ if she can orgasm with just a touch of her wrist why does she need a woman.

That's got to be inconvenient. I mean, what if you drop something in public, and some nice little old man grabs your wrist to get your attention, and you're just like a quivering, orgasming wreck on the floor of John Lewis.

 

[Captainmouse]

Did you miss this one of just her hair?

I nearly dropped kumquat into another thread, but I didn’t think they would be amused

 

[MancBee]

And is that a fork or a screwdriver or what?

To quote Victoria Wood, "whatever it is, it wants washing."



ETA, it really is filthy, I wouldn't want to eat with it.

 

[Hollaaa]

That's got to be inconvenient. I mean, what if you drop something in public, and some nice little old man grabs your wrist to get your attention, and you're just like a quivering, orgasming wreck on the floor of John Lewis.

Be careful, some think tank might pick that up as a way to save the high street.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Be careful, some think tank might pick that up as a way to save the high street.