Jack Monroe #187 Who does she think she is, flippin' Cher?

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A bright new day has dawned.

More than 3 hours sleep have been had.

Hats have been donned.

A new player has come onto the fashion market.

Slightly quirky, slightly shoddy, definitely overpriced.

Guaranteed to deliver your product late and not to your specifications.
 
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What bothers me about the flower embroidery is that the roots start before the soil, so part of them are in the air. That's not how flowers work.
 
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What bothers me about the flower embroidery is that the roots start before the soil, so part of them are in the air. That's not how flowers work.
But is this yet another oh so cryptic message from Jack? All about not functioning or existing in the 'normal' way? All expressed through medium of embroidery.
 
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Insta is trolling me Vlad-style - every time I open my app that ducking shirt (and THAT SMUG FACE) is there.... make it stop
 
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Posting just to see my hat

Thank you very Hat much Hat.
Fits you perfectly.

I'm going to have to sue Tattle though for never providing a hat that fits an open tin of carrots. Not everyone has a neurotypical head, Tattle!
 
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Thought I'd change my profile picture to see how I'd look wearing a sombrero. Anyone think I should buy one?

I could get Jack to embroider it with "I'm a literal food expert" on the front.
 
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I am amazed the colours of the embroidery flowers are botanically correct, with no substitutions. Lacking poppy red? Use daffodil yellow! Coz colours is colours.
 
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Ooh HATS! Yay! Deidre loves hers.

Cabal I have been hooting through my morning grunk. You’re all so funny.

I’ve got some health issues at the moment and having lots of tests (none of which require me to stay in a hotel though) and you’re doing an excellent job of keeping my mind occupied on other things. Thankspaceyou all 😘

@MancBee all I can say about you in your hat is...PHWOAR.
 
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The embroidery thing is cracking me up. I sew, knit, and make beaded jewellery. In fact, I make the vast majority of my clothes. Every time I put a picture up of something I've made, some well-meaning person will say, "Ooh lovely, will you make me one?" or something similar.

Normally I say "haha no, but here's a link to the pattern!" If they persist, I point out how ridiculously expensive my services would be. Occasionally I rant in private to a friend about how so many people think I should monetise my leisure time.

The other thing is...I'm pretty good, but I'm not a professional. I mean, I'm better at sewing than Jack is at embroidery! When I sew, I can fit my own body well, but I've never had to learn to adjust for someone who's tall or long-waisted or broad-shouldered etc. I'm also lazy at times, and I won't redo something that's a bit crooked or whatever because I'm the one who'll be wearing it. So I can't make things to a professional standard, but if I did lose my mind and decide to take commissions, I would nevertheless have to charge a very high amount due to the cost of raw materials and my time.

Every other crafter I know gets SO pissed off at being offered commissions, told to go pro, etc etc. It's one of the most common annoyances that we talk about - in fact, I was literally discussing this yesterday with a friend who does pottery as a hobby. It's something we all hate.

...so OF COURSE the one person who goes "yes my work is great and I should monetise it" is Jack bleeping Monroe. Of course it is.
Exactly this. My sister is a fantastic hobby sewer and knitter. She makes most of her own clothes and some for her husband, children and grandchildren. I would never ask her to make me something as I know how much time and effort it takes.

It makes it all the more special when she does make something for me. She makes it because she wants to, not because I have put her under any obligation.
 
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But is this yet another oh so cryptic message from Jack? All about not functioning or existing in the 'normal' way? All expressed through medium of embroidery.
A month of Poverty eroded the topsoil of my life, leaving my roots exposed, every breeze a marauding trauma, like a tortuous dentist drill to an unnumbed ouchy mouth”
 
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