Jack Monroe #186 The bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured

[SpamNugget]

I reckon she added the roots and secret message ( too much Dan Brown ? ) ,Of course she did the roots they are Braaahn ...

Well if it makes them happy that's fine ,I'm on my last week at work so I'm like Jack ,I have zero fucks to give atm and ' working from home 'i.e firefighting any problems via the phone whilst working my way through Shadow and Bone on Netflix .

The packaging chat sounds good to me ,we've been told a day to pack up all our crap and there's a lot of it but as long as all I have to do is hand round drinks and choccy biscuits I'm good ...

Hope everyone had a good BH weekend and tbh thank God I didn't have to grunk a gazillion pages .

 

[LavaFlake]

Why does she have to embellish and lie about everything. It's bleeping exhaysting.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She needs to embroider another one that says 'Tonight Matthew, I am not going to be a shameless grifter and cosplayer'.
She can stop embroidering the truth for a change too.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

duck off with your bullies. Close your Patreon and your PayPal begging jar, stop lying about being in poverty, and I (and I suspect many others) will literally forget you exist, you con merchant.

No grifting = blissful peace.

p.s. you are indeed a twit.

 

[jordishaw]

She's thinking about taking commissions?!

Please add that to the v.v.long list of things she will never complete.

I hate that this is taking up valuable real estate in my brain, but I think that back in the very distant days, plucky Jack tried to build up a small business doing commissioned embroidered (?maybe patchwork/collage?) pictures.

 

[Vroo]

Jack’s replied to comments on there (IG) in the last 30 minutes.

Replies include mentions to bullies and doing commissions.

SM break is going brilliantly.



I know we aren’t allowed links but there is a lovely woman who embroiders T-shirts with a name linked to a brown hot drink.

I covet her products.

and comments are limited to blue ticky/besties only. Can’t wait til jack is ready for embroidery commissions

 

[kachoochoo]

She's thinking about taking commissions?!

Please add that to the v.v.long list of things she will never complete.

on it like the proverbial car bonnet

although, it seems commissions are only for telly chef types

also, I don't think a "sexy duck off lunch" at theirs would have much on offer for a 90 per cent vegan, what with the massive fire pits of meat they cook!

 

[bowiethesdmn]

and comments are limited to blue ticky/besties only. Can’t wait til jack is ready for embroidery commissions

It'll be like when you get 'hand-made' on cakes and stuff in the supermarket because someone in a factory has chucked a handful of decorations on the top, or someone in the bakery has bunged the raw materials into an oven and so technically...

Or she'll go the full lying by omission bit because it's handmade, just not by her.

 

[Profplum]

View attachment 558960

duck off with your bullies. Close your Patreon and your PayPal begging jar, stop lying about being in poverty, and I (and I suspect many others) will literally forget you exist, you con merchant.

No grifting = blissful peace.

p.s. you are indeed a twit.

This is it. The shirt doesn't bother me, it might not be to my taste, but I think they did make it and I like creativity.

What I find upsetting is the lies and embellishment of their pov stories, dishonestly shoehorning themselves into every possible disadvantaged minority, the begging and the gaslighting over 'bullying'.

If they want a fresh start doing commissioned embroidery, ceasing their constant aggressive cosplay, then I for one will actively encourage it, more power to them.

Quite amazed that they still have to draw explicit attention to their recovery even through some bleeping flowers though.

 

[kachoochoo]

It'll be like when you get 'hand-made' on cakes and stuff in the supermarket because someone in a factory has chucked a handful of decorations on the top, or someone in the bakery has bunged the raw materials into an oven and so technically...

Or she'll go the full lying by omission bit because it's handmade, just not by her.

like domino biscuits?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I had a quick scroll through the twitter comments and couldn't find anyone noticing it there. I haven't checked insta though, I'm not very good at working it!

I looked before I replied to you, they hadn’t noticed at that point on either that I could see! You lived up to your username today

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Is Jack trying to compete with Line of Duty, adding all these mysterious little messages into her sewing?

How utterly tragic if your life revolves around having pretend issues and getting attention through lying and manipulation. She needs professional help for the Munchausen's.

 

[Pixieboots]

Hmmmm yeah I don’t think the soil/subliminal message was done by the same hand as the even and balanced flowers.

Just an opinion from this occasional embroiderer.

Was thinking the same thing.

 

[Captainmouse]

and comments are limited to blue ticky/besties only. Can’t wait til jack is ready for embroidery commissions

When there are real talented embroiders out there, who do this full time, why would you choose this snollygosting charlatan

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Is Jack trying to compete with Line of Duty, adding all these mysterious little messages into her sewing?

How utterly tragic if your life revolves around having pretend issues and getting attention through lying and manipulation. She needs professional help for the Munchausen's.

Spoiler: LoD

Jack’s version of the niece and daughter post it? If she ever watches, it would definitely be Jo’s backstory she’d try and claim as her own.

It is really sad to watch this whole thing, even if she’s not got what she’s claiming it’s fairly clear there is something wrong. But nobody will be able to help her until she admits it.

I do genuinely hope she is getting help and she’s not lying this time, but every day seems to make that look less likely.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

This article on postnominals from The Daily Mash reminded me of Jack

 

[Hollaaa]

Can I commission one with an image of the Linda McCartney sausage or mushroom curry with the secret message 'I am a shameless grifting twit signed Jack Monroe by Jack Monroe' sewn into it in brown please? It'll look like herbs.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

(Sorry I’m finally in the hairdressers and am bored hence avalanche of posts)

The bullies thing today just shows how little progress she’s made despite the expensive probable rehab. Obviously it can’t be nice to have every detail of your life picked over, but she clearly hasn’t taken even a sliver of responsibility for her part in attracting this criticism (and it also calls to question the legitimacy of her claims to have been previously hounded by right wing trolls). There was relatively little negative attention from normal people before she went off on That Man and started begging left, right and centre for money when lockdown started.

Everyone I know in music and theatre etc either paid their taxes properly so they had government grants sorted, or got jobs in Lidl etc to make up for their lost income. It was tit but it’s the nature of freelancing. Meanwhile Jack is throwing her toys out of the pram from her detached coastal bungalow where she lives with her TV exec partner and saying she might go back on a checkout as some kind of desperate last resort (as if they’d have her).

If she genuinely can’t see that it’s her behaviour which made people go “wtf?” and start googling, along with a year of seriously unpleasant behaviour*, then the entire process has been a waste. I look forward to the embroidery career going on the list for the next decade.

* torturing the kitten
exploiting her son
pretending to be able to feed a family on £20 p/w
calling teachers nazis
making horrifying allegations without TW
saying DW is a cokehead
implying she has a list of showbiz abusers but doing duck all about it
taking multiple unethical corporate deals
appropriating the FSM campaign and implying SB was on them
etc etc etc

 

[schmetterling]

Fashion frau in a hideous menstruation-induced rage. I hate the shirt and let's not get started on the subliminal embroidery. I hate the stupid breadcrumbing about her 'illnesses' which are irritating at best and frankly very bleeping offensive at worst. Take her fawning squiggles away from her so she can get to absolute duck please!

 

[Harrybosch]

I have forensically examined the embroidery on my large screen and have come to the following conclusions:

• The same hand stitched the whole thing. The flowers look better than the soil and roots at first glance, but NOT once you zoom in on the poorly executed leaf stitch on the right.
• The hand that stitched the pocket is at beginner level. Looks fine from a distance, quite messy close up.
• The brain that dreamed up the design spent ten minutes on Pinterest looking at pocket embroidery.
• The hand and the brain in question most likely belong to Jack Monroe. Not because she says so, but because it's a fairly basic design, done shoddily, infused with teenage depth and displayed for praise and adoration.

Investigation over, case closed.