Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[MancBee]

Going to all that effort to conceal her identity when all they have to do is look at her tattoos



She's like a tit Lorraine Kelly

But you have to use a credit card to confirm a booking. Unless she used her Go Henry card. Or she is booked in under Louisa's name.


Nah, she's at home.

 

[Lanie]

I think she's at home, I think she desperate to make herself sound likes she's doing something that she tweets stuff, perhaps she's staying at L's again so she's calling it a hotel. Perhaps see gifted her one of her smegs. I also don't know why they would send her to Manchester rather than London for treatment isn't it closer. They don't usually send people with children miles and miles away from home for treatment.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

But you have to use a credit card to confirm a booking. Unless she used her Go Henry card. Or she is booked in under Louisa's name.


Nah, she's at home.

I've got a great image of her booking into a hotel as Go Henry now

eta: why would you want an appliance you keep all your food in to be branded 'smeg'

 

[Suffolkmum]

It was linked from the article, but was gone when I clicked through. It might be because it led to her old URL girlcalledjack. I didn't realise she migrated her content across to the bootstrap page. When I googled, I could only find the 'suicidal people don't batch cook' one, which I can't be arsed to read. I've had enough of her writing for today.

Oh god I was really confused about David Platt the kickyball player from way back. Makes more sense now

Me to, I thought he was never in Corrie.

 

[Malkiavelli]

Genuinely hope that she is on some sort of trip for if she is just at home and has gone to all the effort to completely make up the fridge story with its accompanying staged photo, then she’s more bonkers than was ever even imagined.

 

[Zelda]

I have no idea what is going on?! Does Jack live in a parallel universe where there’s no pandemic?

re kickyball David Platt I’ve met him. He was really nice in a cheesey, dad joking way, giving off strong used car salesman vibes.

For her night out with all the Corrie legends, come on, Terry Duckworth has to be invited. I once saw him (or his alter ego, Nigel Pivarro) in a bar. He looked like he was well into a long session. Quite loud and a bit sweaty, but that was how we partied back in the day #middleaged #menopausal

 

[Lanie]

Genuinely hope that she is on some sort of trip for if she is just at home and has gone to all the effort to completely make up the fridge story with its accompanying staged photo, then she’s more bonkers than was ever even imagined.

Like @MancBee said, where's the coke and the pepsi? It's strange they wouldnt have at least one can of each, yet lots of kombacha. I have never had it and I rarely see it in my local stores. It's an odd choice for a hotel to put into their fridge.

Also does her poor northern Irish pixie know the Mournes are ablaze? Wonder if she will tweet that,

 

[MaineCoonMama]

The saddest part of the hotel situation is knowing Jack's not funny enough to check herself in as Anne Cognito.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Like @MancBee said, where's the coke and the pepsi? It's strange they wouldnt have at least one can of each, yet lots of kombacha. I have never had it and I rarely see it in my local stores. It's an odd choice for a hotel to put into their fridge.

Also does her poor northern Irish pixie know the Mournes are ablaze? Wonder if she will tweet that,

and loads of that Nocco - that’s a pretty hardcore energy drink, they stock it at my gym. Although if she is bodybuilding......

 

[PoorPatrol]

I’ve just put on Martin and Roman’s morning thing. Chef Shivi is apparently their resident chef. She’s teaching them, very nicely, how to chop onions. She hasn’t said anything inappropriate, is friendly and warm, and has great rapport with M&R. Aghghhh, she’s about to make a proper roux

Scenes from Parsley, Manchester:

 

[Clapster1]

It could be that I have been staying in the wrong sort of hotels but I have only ever seen the small mini bar fridges in the rooms I've occupied. This looks like the door of a full sized domestic fridge to me!?!

 

[Shawads]

I have no idea what is going on?! Does Jack live in a parallel universe where there’s no pandemic?

re kickyball David Platt I’ve met him. He was really nice in a cheesey, dad joking way, giving off strong used car salesman vibes.

For her night out with all the Corrie legends, come on, Terry Duckworth has to be invited. I once saw him (or his alter ego, Nigel Pivarro) in a bar. He looked like he was well into a long session. Quite loud and a bit sweaty, but that was how we partied back in the day #middleaged #menopausal

My mum used to fancy Terry duckworth, in my memory he's quite, sweaty?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I've tried reading Jack's "poetry" in a John Cooper Clark voice rather than the adenoidal tremble

It actually makes it less terrible. I wonder if that was her goal? Edgy people's poet rather than teenage angst.

Although, JCC could read the phone book and I'd still love it

 

[Lanie]

I wonder if she chosen a name closer to her northern Irish heritage and the fact she makes tit up.

" Hello hotel, yes Id like a room."

" Of course, name?"

" Yer arse is parsley"

Hotel.......

Her: I am a celeb and I am hiding I have even brought my own Id (parsley) that I will keep in your fridge, so no one will ever know and that I need that fridge to be stocked with random drinks not normally stocked in hotels, m' kay

 

[Eurgh]

For me the page comes up as delmontegb now

Maybe it was on the insistence of the Spanish after that paella?

 

[Cookiecookie]

I wonder what her assumed name for mystery hotel stays is? Jack Monroe is pretty generic as far as names go really. Also, what hotel has a Smeg? (I hate that word too @bowiethesdmn ) If they have fridges etc it's normally non branded, hotel supply equipment, not branded high end products (admittedly I've never stayed in a posh hotel though!)

 

[bowiethesdmn]

This is starting to feel like one of those alternate reality games

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Hey hey- fancy username

 

[Hollaaa]

This is starting to feel like one of those alternate reality games

Like a really baffling Crystal Maze room.

 

[Flivver]

I've tried reading Jack's "poetry" in a John Cooper Clark voice rather than the adenoidal tremble

It actually makes it less terrible. I wonder if that was her goal? Edgy people's poet rather than teenage angst.

Although, JCC could read the phone book and I'd still love it

Thanks for that - I now have John Cooper Claaaaaark’s voice in my head now. In fact, I’m reading all posts with his voice in mind.