Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[CabalofBolorneaise]

It never ends!
I know we all did random tit when we were 20 but this is a lot!

Got to admit, right now I’m thanking Louisa J Christ I wrote my angsty poetry (Though I was a teen in 2009) in a book rather than putting it online

 

[Orphan_Black]

It never ends!
I know we all did random tit when we were 20 but this is a lot!

They're quite intense, a lot of dead from the waist down, Parker ink grey, and planting 26 sunflowers for every year of a lover's life.

It's a been a treat to read these in a tipsy state

 

[SlopAmbsase]

 

[Flumps]

Aww, I'm sorry, I'm an old softy and I can't bring myself to pick on 20 year old Jack's emosh writing. When I was 20 I had ALL THE FEELINGS too and wrote a lot of lyrics that I am incredibly relieved are not held in perpetuity anywhere.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Thank you universe for letting my teen angst blossom, ferment and die
In the 80s it rained words
from my Kilometrico pen
only to die unlaughed at


immolation

fire station

burn, motherfucker

burn

 

[Orphan_Black]

 

[Mr Krabs]

Ahhh, yeah it's still up on bootstrap https://cookingonabootstrap.com/201...months-ago-in-my-beatrix-potter-cosy-poverty/

ETA; didn't realise there was two different blogs (and probably countless more!)

There's also Jackatapinch, which was archived. I think that was the Allegra years and the fake suspected heart attack.

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 543574

But she was in a rented property. She can't even grow one hydrangea in a pot until she gets her forever home. How would she ever grow 26 sunflowers? They grow really big.

 

[Orphan_Black]

But she was in a rented property. She can't even grow one hydrangea in a pot until she gets her forever home. How would she ever grow 26 sunflowers? They grow really big.

She had room for 100 daffodils didn't she?!

(I love how quiet it's gone in here as fraus go poetry reading, lol, now we're even Jack for the freaky thoughts you caused, you're welcome!)

 

[MaineCoonMama]

@Orphan_Black I thought it was 1,000 daffodils?

 

[Harrybosch]

That bit I quoted is City Slicker!!! The rest;


There's commuters knocking into me
In their flashes of mediocre greys as I'm
Waiting for that call from you that's never going to come

And who's to say
It'll ever change
And who's to blame
For all the same old grey
When the weatherman told you it was going to be rain
But you went out in mini dresses all the same
Yeah you went out in miniskirts and unbuttoned shirts and nothing on your feet
And now you're dirty and you're colder from the unforgiving streets
And as the sun sets you're much older than the numbers on the seats
That you sit down once again
Pull a frown once again
Because that’s what everyone else seems to do
And God forbid you're the one that doesn't follow suit
Because who's to say
That it's ever going to change?
When you're to blame, because the weatherman told you it was going to rain
And you gave him two fingers and went out in minidresses all the same

And now I walk with my head down
I'm dead from the waist down
I guess that that’s frustrating for anyone who's waiting for the anger to subside so they could get a little close
And I say in my clichés that I am tired of this city
Where everything's trying too hard to be too pretty
Gets torn down and built up in Lego bricks and convention
And intervention, for the sake of it
And depression's just the succession of this recession
That we're embarrassed to mention
Because we went out and spent it all and spunked it up the wall
And now we're down the local decrying all the local PMs and getting pissed
As another job gets dismissed
Another t uncrossed and an apostrophe that's missed
Another guy called Paul or Dave that just won't see his kids today
Because she's got a hair appointment and the child support cleared yesterday

And who's to say
It'll ever change
And who's to blame
For all the same old grey
When the weatherman told you it was going to be rain
But you went out in mini dresses all the same
Yeah you went out in miniskirts and unbuttoned shirts and nothing on your feet

And now you're dirty and you're colder from the unforgiving streets
And as the sun sets you're much older than the numbers on the seats
That you sit down once again
Pull a frown once again
Because that’s what everyone else seems to do
And God forbid you're the one that doesn't follow suit
Because who's to say
That it's ever going to change?
When you're to blame, because the weatherman told you it was going to rain
And you gave him two fingers and went out in mini dresses all the same

And I’ve got holes in the soul
I’ve a sickness in your dole cheque
And there’s nothing you can give me
To make it go away
As I slowly fill my days
With community projects to colour in the grey
With sick kids and burnt out buildings
To make it all okay

And who's to say
It'll ever change
And who's to blame
For all the same old grey
When the weatherman told you it was going to be rain
But you went out in mini dresses all the same
Yeah you went out in miniskirts and unbuttoned shirts and nothing on your feet
And now you're dirty and you're colder from the unforgiving streets
And as the sun sets you're much older than the numbers on the seats
That you sit down once again
Pull a frown once again
Because that’s what everyone else seems to do
And God forbid you're the one that doesn't follow suit

Because who's to say
That it's ever going to change?
When you're to blame, because the weatherman told you it was going to rain
And you gave him two fingers and went out in mini dresses all the same
Yeah we jumped in puddles in next to nothing
And got in muddles and looked for something
That wasn't grey, with our SLRs
And too much gel in stuck-up hair
Can you remember November and barely-there
Placards and bollards from when we cared
About road extensions
And interventions
And crime prevention for the sake of it

And now I walk with my head down
I'm dead from the waist down
I guess that that’s frustrating for anyone who's waiting
For the anger to subside so they could get a little close
When the weatherman told me it was going to be rain
But I went out in mini dresses all the same
Yeah I went out in miniskirts and unbuttoned shirts and nothing on my feet
But now the grey from your ties match the grey on the streets
Because that's what everyone else seems to do
And God forbid that you're the one that doesn't follow suit..

 

[moosesauna]

It never ends!
I know we all did random tit when we were 20 but this is a lot!

SHE WAS 20 WHEN SHE WROTE THIS??? Dear god, I assumed it was her teenage self we don't claim her omg

EDIT: When I was a teenager I wrote some utter drivel, the likes of which I'd burn if it wasn't in a diary full of interesting memories. Nowdays I am ... very glad that my 'creative potential' has dried up!

 

[Orphan_Black]

@Orphan_Black I thought it was 1,000 daffodils?

It was as well!

She certainly has enough room to grow 26 daffodils (do another 12 need going in too tho?)

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Found this while refreshing my memory on the awful jack monroe david cameron slating.
What she said was awful enough but she is fake left wing as well as fake everything else and everyone seemed to be pasting 'left wing Jack monroe' on every story about what she said.
everything she pretends to represent is given a bad rep thanks to her very public behaviour.

A Boob Too Far - The Steeple Times

Blogger turned media mouthpiece Jack Monroe sinks to a new low

www.thesteepletimes.com

Eta, wrong link

Who even says that?! “I’m not somebody’s sexual fetish, I’m a person”, I’m all for a bit of confidence but come on love, you’re not all that

 

[Silver Linings]

Aww no i’m giving them a massive pass for those. Pocketful of stones, maybe, but bless them. I think they were working through some hard things.

 

[Mr Krabs]

SHE WAS 20 WHEN SHE WROTE THIS??? Dear god, I assumed it was her teenage self we don't claim her omg

EDIT: When I was a teenager I wrote some utter drivel, the likes of which I'd burn if it wasn't in a diary full of interesting memories. Nowdays I am ... very glad that my 'creative potential' has dried up!

To be honest, I can't even read the poetry because I think I wrote much worse tit. There are probably some old blogs in forgotten areas of the internet with my terrible poems from my early-20s.

I have low cringe tolerance though. I can't even watch things like talent shows because I find it painful!

Who even says that?! “I’m not somebody’s sexual fetish, I’m a person”, I’m all for a bit of confidence but come on love, you’re not all that

On this forum, we've seen people fancying Ian Hislop (hehe, His-slop) and Steptoe, but I've never seen anyone fancy Jack. Technically she's my type but ick.

 

[MancBee]

It was as well!

She certainly has enough room to grow 26 daffodils (do another 12 need going in too tho?)

Sunflowers grow to 6 ft or more. 26 of them grown from seed would be a sight. And wasn't she in an exclusive apartment at the time, they would fill the bloody place.

 

[moosesauna]

Who even says that?! “I’m not somebody’s sexual fetish, I’m a person”, I’m all for a bit of confidence but come on love, you’re not all that

I'm sure there were a few posts on Twitter or Tumblr about this. Some sort of 'reply in the comments with how many porn categories you fit into', as a slightly cringeworthy social experiment to show how deeply sexualised all types of women are. Either she was referring to that, or, well, she thinks being a food bank mum is a fetish?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I wonder if she fancied herself as famous singer songwriter? Like Lisa Loeb.

Frauen, tell me what this means:.

Spoiler: OT.... Unusual item in a parcel

I have just opened up a large parcel of art materials that I ordered.

Inside the parcel tho...there was a large pair of men's French Connection pants. Wtf. I have not checked to see if they are...worn.

 

[Silver Linings]