Clearly an oversight
eta: re the Tile freebies, you know the saying, 'when multiple doors are forcibly slammed shut, another opens'
Jack Monroe #181 Time flies when you’re judging slop
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eta: re the Tile freebies, you know the saying, 'when multiple doors are forcibly slammed shut, another opens'
Well, Tile...
This one little thing, this tweet that they have liked has really gotten under my skin, irrationally so.
She really hasn't struggled for company, at all, in fact her time alone has been minimal.
There are others waiting patiently for their with really basic social needs to be met.
She is a really unkind, selfish person. Full stop.
She really hasn't struggled for company, at all, in fact her time alone has been minimal.
There are others waiting patiently for their with really basic social needs to be met.
She is a really unkind, selfish person. Full stop.
Mission accomplished.
she’s really not getting a look in is she, not so much as a little bolt on piece of digital content 
There’s always her beloved Nisa?
There’s always her beloved Nisa?
Oh, Tile.
Once a got a note telling me they wouldn't take my recycling because I hadn't rinsed the cans. It wasn't my recycling.
And It is always a surprise how many recycling boxes you will end up, current we have four, but it varies between one and six.
wow...it's been nearly a year since i spoke to anyone but my dad face to face, and a lot of (esp. older & more vulnerable) people have it far far worse, but sure Jack - I guess having a lovely son and a girlfriend/fiancee/scarf deliverer isn't enough company?
BACK IN THE BIG CITY. LJC SITS AT HER DESK AFTER A LONG DAY AT WORK. SHE PUTS THE PHONE DOWN AFTER SCROLLING THROUGH 77 DROP CALLS AND 24 TEXT MESSAGES. IT'S BEEN 3 HOURS,
[Thinking] I only just got away with that. Thank duck the sticky ones are one use only and the replacement sticky pads are out of stock.
Right, time to check there isn't a formal declaration of war upon the Flower Fairies for being smol Pixies that live under Brambly Hedges with Mice.
SHE SCROLLS DOWN HER NEWSFEED.
The ex is now even more of a squillionaire than ever before.
Uh-oh
Sainsburys is doing something with Those Other Men.
Uh-oh
Aldi, too.
Argh.
SHE SCROLLS SOME MORE AND GOES FULL MALCOLM bleeping TUCKER.
Oh, that's simply bleeping brill, that.
A MIDDLERANKING TV EXEC POPS HIS HEAD ROUND THE DOOR.
'coming to the pu- you alright, L?'
THOSE bleeping BASTARDS - THEY'VE GIVEN HER ENOUGH TO DO MY PHONE, KEYS AND MY bleeping BIKE NOW. duck duck duck duck duck duck bleeping BASTARDING TILE PEOPLE. duck YOU ALL AND YOUR STALKY PARTNER TECHNOLOGY WITH THE POWER OF THE bleeping TILE CROWD LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR bleeping STUFF AND SENDING bleeping NOTIFICATIONS TO THE bleeping STICKER CHAMPION OF SOUTHEND 1993.
MIDDLERANKING TV EXEC GOES INTO A SLOW REVERSE FOXTROT OSCAR. AND EXITS AS IF PURSUED BY THE SLOP PUSHER THEMSELF BRANDISHING A DIRTY MIXING SPOON AND RADDLED OLD SLOW COOKER LINER.
*******CURTAIN*********
[Thinking] I only just got away with that. Thank duck the sticky ones are one use only and the replacement sticky pads are out of stock.
Right, time to check there isn't a formal declaration of war upon the Flower Fairies for being smol Pixies that live under Brambly Hedges with Mice.
SHE SCROLLS DOWN HER NEWSFEED.
The ex is now even more of a squillionaire than ever before.
Uh-oh
Sainsburys is doing something with Those Other Men.
Uh-oh
Aldi, too.
Argh.
SHE SCROLLS SOME MORE AND GOES FULL MALCOLM bleeping TUCKER.
Oh, that's simply bleeping brill, that.
A MIDDLERANKING TV EXEC POPS HIS HEAD ROUND THE DOOR.
'coming to the pu- you alright, L?'
THOSE bleeping BASTARDS - THEY'VE GIVEN HER ENOUGH TO DO MY PHONE, KEYS AND MY bleeping BIKE NOW. duck duck duck duck duck duck bleeping BASTARDING TILE PEOPLE. duck YOU ALL AND YOUR STALKY PARTNER TECHNOLOGY WITH THE POWER OF THE bleeping TILE CROWD LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR bleeping STUFF AND SENDING bleeping NOTIFICATIONS TO THE bleeping STICKER CHAMPION OF SOUTHEND 1993.
MIDDLERANKING TV EXEC GOES INTO A SLOW REVERSE FOXTROT OSCAR. AND EXITS AS IF PURSUED BY THE SLOP PUSHER THEMSELF BRANDISHING A DIRTY MIXING SPOON AND RADDLED OLD SLOW COOKER LINER.
*******CURTAIN*********
I know some people at work use coloured paper or backgrounds because it helps them with reading screens. I work in a field with lots of spreadsheets. It helps me to colour them to follow lines or years or whatever. I remember doing a huge very pretty spreadsheet for my boss for him to say it was useless because he is colourblind. So his all had to be done in greyscale. Another colleague with dyslexia used to cast everything to check for transposition errors. Employers will try to adapt and put things in place to help people, but they do require the output to be in a specific style and format.
This honestly deserves to be performed in front of a live studio audience. I'm getting Wandavision meets the L Word meets Curb Your Enthusiasm vibes, with a hefty chunk of Partridge thrown in?
I feel like I usually have something to say about That Man at this point on a Monday night. he has put avocado into pastry. his jumper matches his kitchen fittings. and the avocado pastry 
Well done Jack on successfully grifting some free Tiles. You can easily afford the product, but you take, take, take love. You be you. Your shamefulness knows no bounds, and I hope one day something will sate your avarice, yet it's doubtful. You're more goblin than pixie.
It's the alternate timeline origin story for The Winter Soldier. LJC's trigger words will be;
- Not long ('til first dinner)
- Rusted (spoons)
- Slowcooker.
- Daily (Kitchen Live)
- Seventeen (pence per portion)
- Benign (Ouchies)
- Nine (phones)
- Home (when are you coming...?)
- Tile
- Anchovies
Can just picture the
I just watched that - went a bit maverick. But did it look edible? Had to go feed tiny V as she’s teething and grouchyI feel like I usually have something to say about That Man at this point on a Monday night. he has put avocado into pastry. his jumper matches his kitchen fittings. and the avocado pastry
Would love to be a fly on the wall of those DMs from Tile. I'm free for a collab if you like! Oh that's okay Jack, enjoy your free tiles. Oh come on look at how many likes I got! Try me I won't disappoint 
Sorry we can't really afford collabs right now. But I've just given you all that free publicity! Did you just expect me to do all that WORK for FREE!? PAY ME!
Sorry we can't really afford collabs right now. But I've just given you all that free publicity! Did you just expect me to do all that WORK for FREE!? PAY ME!
Jack: 'Just doing an experiment about internet reach/being a massive narc'
Jack: *makes up bullshit story about an expensive product*
Expensive product company: 'Here have some freebies for reasons that have nothing to do with your internet reach'
Jack:
Jack: *makes up bullshit story about an expensive product*
Expensive product company: 'Here have some freebies for reasons that have nothing to do with your internet reach'
Jack:
Well I’m glad I bought the tile knock off is all I can say.
I live in an executive apartment flats. I just chuck the bag in the giant dumpster for rubbish or recycling. I don’t even know what day the bins get emptied.I realise this is massive bin privilege
[mr v gets obsessed with bin collection days, & I am sure secretly loves taking out grey/blue/brown/burgundy on the right day. Any rubbish not in the bin is not collected here 
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I like being able to kid myself that stuff's actually getting recycled instead of just going in one big bin to be yeeted off to a trash island somewhere, but it's annoying that every region/city/town etc has a different system. Got my flatmates putting food waste in the cans/bottles bin and vice versa, meaning that a couple of times the bins were left sitting there far longer than they should've been :/ Also, the stress of realising at 4am that you haven't taken the bins out, and it's winter/autumn so they won't be taking them out again for two weeks....
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