Jack Monroe #181 Time flies when you’re judging slop

[BeautifulTrauma]

19 likes and one comment in two hours...

Can we test this post...I have a hunch. If you see this give it a face so I can pretend to my imaginary son how far a picture of a mystical smol pixie on a forum can travel.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

she persisted.

 

[kachoochoo]

the way I just jumped out of my skin!

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @CottageWitch for the words and @Mel Donte for the nomination! Your prize: a jar of (yellow-sticker) capers to share.

Recap of last thread:

1. Jack ‘had a hunch’ about something and wanted Twitter to show its adoration. Over 145k proved whatever hunch it was and the tweet wasn’t deleted ‘shortly’. It’s still there.
2. Reasons for this? SB, apparently.
3. Motives were questioned, but not one iota of shit was given.
4. Emotional manipulation was used to tell the world about a shameful love for capers.
5. ‘As a Greek’, Jack approves of capers in Greek salad.
6. There was sucking up to the Good Law Project man’s haircut, for reasons of ‘big old lesbian’.
7. The word ‘squiggle’ was used in a tweet, so lots of the thread contingent declared they were not Jack Monroe.

Spoiler: Mwa ha ha

It’s me.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Silver Linings]

You know what? I believe it was me who first said squiggle, so you have your lols with it Jack. I stopped squiggling Smol Robots man because he has a relatively large following and he is somewhat of a ‘character’ in Jack’s life. But if he takes such objection to Jack’s ‘readers’ being obscured for their own privacy on this mendacious bullying site then I’ll resume squiggling him. Dickheads, the pair of them.

 

[Falkor]

Popping in from the Food and Drink thread to report Frau Vivienne Squiggle has just delivered her twins Little video over on the other thread, but here's a pic.

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[Silver Linings]

Call a spade a spade and make a Grunkabot, or Tattlebot.

 

[Pocahontas]

Hi Tile! Choosing to send someone who can clearly afford their own Tiles and buy many more if they wanted to some replacement Tiles is a dick move. A gratis dick move.

You can join the fish people, the flower people, the skincare people and every other company who chooses to gift a person of monetary privilege something, when there are many more who don’t use Twitter as their mouth wank and struggle on regardless.

 

[Pocahontas]

View attachment 535052

Elf, pixie ... it’s all the same for smol dickheads.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Last year!

This year - wrestling shit off a train floor with no hand sanitiser

 

[colouredlines]

'heres Mamas twitter. Don't ever read it on your own'. I take it SB is not expected to change what he calls Jack whenever pronouns change?
I am thinking that the pronoun change is to get people to reduce their postings about them as pronoun (self)policing is tiresome.

Honestly, it's a bit upsetting to see people here actually getting stressed over the pronoun thing when - six years after Jack came out as non-binary - jackmonroe.com, the Del Monte Instagram page, and United Agents all use she. The celeb reviews that accompany Jack's books on Amazon use she. Jack's Twitter bio changes all the time, and has a loose relationship with reality at the best of times.

TBH I may duck out for a bit, at least until the bio changes again...see you all this evening, then.

 

[sleeping-chocolate]

I don't comment here often however I just wanted to say something about the pronouns. My sister is a trans-woman and she has worked so tirelessly to get people to respect her pronouns and when I asked her what she thought about this Jack stuff, she told me that she finds it really infuriating that someone would weaponise and use pronouns in the way Jack does because it sets actual trans people back. Jack is using pronouns like manipulation tools. There is not a single person in this thread who wouldn't be using the correct pronouns if she hadn't taken something so serious and used it to her advantage. Then she pretends she actually cares about trans people as if she is doing anything but cause them harm, her lack of emotional intelligence is violent. No Jack, you only care about yourself.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I won’t, but am so sorely tempted to reply to all her tile nonsense, tag them in, and say I’d been thinking of buying some but won’t now I see how easily they fall off phones and how difficult to pick up after.

Dis you?

 

[PoorPatrol]

I’m not Jack.

I was briefly skint when my own SBs were little, at the exact same time as Jack. Like the fool that I am, I took advantage of things like children’s centres, cut my cloth accordingly, moaned about it to friends (many in the same predicament) and didn’t buy iPhones or expensive cameras to then sell repeatedly.

Never did it ever occur to me to make a niche 100 hour pw minimum wage career out of briefly having to use a hella lotta kidney beans in my cooking.

My kids used to share room with me because, to save money, I lived in a tiny one bedroom flat when they were little. Unlike dear heart Jackie, who simply needed her very small son to have his own bedroom, despite having no money for butter. My kids were packed in like sardines, but had lightbulbs, butter, AND dinosaurs.... the spoilt brats!

Mamapapa were not landlords, I had a genuinely working class upbringing. No blue land rover or chess championships for smol PP

 

[Sideboard Bob]

In restaurant parlance she did fuck all. (pardon me for swearing)

You swore!!! I’ve updated your poem.

Why you cry?
Because of Manc Bee
What happened?
Manc Sweared
Again
Oh no, I’m sad
“fuck all”
My shocked eyes
pardon me
pardon Bee

 

[Flash123]

Hahahaahahahaha! I haven’t seen this before!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Liking that tweet about vaccines for single people is sickening. She was the one gallivanting about all across the country and yomping to chippers while apparently experiencing COVID symptoms, she's part of the reason we're in this fucking mare in the first place. Not to mention the fact that she's clearly been living somewhere else with someone else for the last two weeks and has had a bubble buddy AND HER SON at her house for most of the time. She doesn't need a COVID vaccine she needs a rapid infusion of anti-cunt serum and a hefty dose of reality.

Sorry, she's really curried my sausages tonight.

 

[colouredlines]

Just in case any of our vegan Frauen and Herren are feeling left out...



Jack claims it's just as good as the real thing. Having now seen her pork belly, I believe her.