Jack Monroe #178 I am a human being and I make mistakes

[Adayinthelife]

What do Owen Jones and anchovy butter have in common?

Spoiler: you really don't want to read this

I first made anchovy butter in my kitchen at home on the cusp of autumn 2019. Faced with a pile of courgettes to use and a recipe book to write, I began to throw together whatever I had to hand to turn the pile of fat green vegetables in my fridge drawer into delicious dishes. It was 2pm, and I was trying to wrap up soon so I could pick my son up from school. I wanted something super quick, simple and that would keep for my dinner that evening. I poured a tin of anchovies in the blender, along with all of the oil, and added butter, on a whim. I pulsed it, watching the butter whip to a cupcake frosting consistency, flecked with freckles of brown. I gently braced myself as I dipped a tentative finger in. The smell was overpowering – I closed my eyes and sucked that finger and I swear my ovaries and arteries both gave the same deep internal groan – one in pleasure, one in fear.

Why would your ovaries do *that* at *that*???? Wtf?!
Also, if my ovaries made that noise I’d be running to the doctor...

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Jack was clearly hoping for a pile-on/Twitter storm following her comment to Owen but, as usual, the indifference is deafening.

 

[Vroo]

I know she’d do some kind of eyeroll defence like ‘obviously I was joking, can’t say anything without the faceless cable twisting it’ about child free weekend- but many a true word is said in jest. Poor SB must realise amam always comes first, which is a real shame

 

[Lanie]

I would often have to ‘force’ (not literal use of force) my child to go and stay with the other parent. I didn’t do this because I didn’t want them with me, I did it because it was vital that they maintain a relationship with both of us and that the other parent had the opportunity to actually, y’know, continue parenting. I admit to being guilty of the ‘I’m fed up, can’t wait until they go away for the weekend’ trope and the occasional ‘you can go live with them full time then’, and yes it was lovely to have that break from ‘rl’ but I never actively thought of my child as a burden like she seems to do with SB
(She would never have had to sell those lightbulbs if she wasn’t a Mum, she probably thinks she could have got a rich sugar mamma sooner than she did with Allegra...)

She would have probably been captain fantastic is the fire service( I mean telephones) if she wasn't a parent.

I am so sad she wrote that about her kid. I mean imagine if he said to a mate let's check out my mum's sm?
Kids do this tit and he saw that.

 

[Vanelope]

I can’t feel my ovaries - I didn’t think they were independently moving organs. (Is she getting body parts mixed up?)

 

[Clarends]

Haha, she is so Rory. Rory came from a wealthy family yet always complained about being broke, wore designer labels all the time, planned a move to New York despite being too broke to buy underwear. Also the whole inflated sense of her own talent thing (I won’t go on about all the ways in which Rory is a terrible journalist but she’s terrible).

Shes a bit Lorelai as well who in spite of being povs got money from rich parents to pay for Rory's private school and Yale But I like Lorelai - she cant cook and doesnt ever pretend she can.

 

[Eleanor Abernathy]

Twitchy ovaries because of fish butter. I’d get that seen to.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I completely understand that parents need a break. I just think she should be more mindful about how she talks about her son online. We don't know what their relationship is like, but I would feel hurt if my mum was posting on social media that she sees me as a burden, and I mean, I'm 34 and she has about 100 Facebook friends. Jack's words could have a much deeper impact.

Surely celebrating a break from your offspring is what anonymous Mumsnet accounts are for?

i feel like jack is always the one to try and make a joke that just sounds awkward and harsh and makes the room go silent...this particular tweet is a case in point. So uncomfortable!

 

[colouredlines]

I can’t feel my ovaries - I didn’t think they were independently moving organs. (Is she getting body parts mixed up?)

There should be a Bad Sex Award for food writing...then her agent would finally be able to replace 19th Best Lesbian of the Year 2014 with something more up to date.

 

[Lanie]

No offence but I hated the Gilmore girls I thought they were dickheads. There i said it.

 

[blurstoftimes]

What do Owen Jones and anchovy butter have in common?

Spoiler: you really don't want to read this

I first made anchovy butter in my kitchen at home on the cusp of autumn 2019. Faced with a pile of courgettes to use and a recipe book to write, I began to throw together whatever I had to hand to turn the pile of fat green vegetables in my fridge drawer into delicious dishes. It was 2pm, and I was trying to wrap up soon so I could pick my son up from school. I wanted something super quick, simple and that would keep for my dinner that evening. I poured a tin of anchovies in the blender, along with all of the oil, and added butter, on a whim. I pulsed it, watching the butter whip to a cupcake frosting consistency, flecked with freckles of brown. I gently braced myself as I dipped a tentative finger in. The smell was overpowering – I closed my eyes and sucked that finger and I swear my ovaries and arteries both gave the same deep internal groan – one in pleasure, one in fear.

"flecked with freckles of brown" is bringing back memories of the Night of the Prune Juice.

if it was only the cusp of autumn then why was your kid at schooooollllllll

 

[Hollaaa]

No offence but I hated the Gilmore girls I thought they were dickheads. There i said it.

I started watching it recently to see what the fuss was about and I'd rather be forced through Dawson's Creek again (ew, not a euphemism) than sit through another episode of that nonsense.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

No offence but I hated the Gilmore girls I thought they were dickheads. There i said it.

Babe, same. I only watched it at the time because my housemate did. They talked too fast for me. So irritating.

 

[Lanie]

I started watching it recently to see what the fuss was about and I'd rather be forced through Dawson's Creek again (ew, not a euphemism) than sit through another episode of that nonsense.

My best mate used to love it she used to watch it all the time. It made me want to dig out my own eyes.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

What a callous tweet about SB poor boy, I hope he won't ever see that. It proves what we all suspected, she hardly every has him. Why have a child you don't then want to look after and spend time with? I've long felt she is quite unmaternal and so centred on herself that there is no room for him in her heart. Jack Monroe lives for Jack Monroe.

I agree with your post. Trying to be positive - at least SB is out of her clutches for a fair amount of time and has a normal life with his Dad.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

No offence but I hated the Gilmore girls I thought they were dickheads. There i said it.

I loved it at the time, absolutely loved it. But when they did the revival I tried to rewatch the older episodes in prep and as an adult I thought the same.

I really hope when Jack grunks, that SB time tweet just quietly goes off to the ether. I agree she’ll claim it was a joke, but I suspect it’s a case of many a true word said in jest.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She not identifying with being male anymore then?

My child is only slightly older and is literally no bother. I certainly don’t need huge breaks from her, it’s more it’s good for her to go out, it’s not for me

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

She not identifying with being male anymore then?

My child is only slightly older and is literally no bother. I certainly don’t need huge breaks from her, it’s more it’s good for her to go out, it’s not for me

She’s also implying from it she has him all of the rest of the time, which from what she herself has said in the past I suspect isn’t true. Which would sting even more for him.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

She feels she's missing out when he's there, that's the saddest thing. She always writes about him in terms of resentment - having to cook and clean, put the washing machine on, do the school run, take him to bed at 7pm after his meal of slop and conversation cards.

That's because she uses him to illustrate how hard she has it all the time. She has to outline every mortal task she does for him, that most of us don't even give a second thought to doing, as it gives her a long list to reel off that makes her sound BUSY (and hard done by of course). If you have to pad out your task list like that, you probably aren't actually that busy .

Morning all

 

[Imainlylurk]

I’m no fan of Owen Jones (still recovering from the podcast of them both together) but putting your desperation to have children out there for others to see (even jokingly) is very tough. Even joking about it will probably have made him feel vulnerable. This is something Jack just doesn’t understand.

Spoiler: TW childlessness/desires to have children

I’ve put this paragraph behind a spoiler in case there are any fraus/herrs feeling that desperation who just don’t need this topic discussion at this time in the morning (or maybe ever). Honestly Jack has no comprehension of what it’s like to desperately want children but for personal circumstances to mean that it’s a rather more difficult journey (or even impossible). She doesn’t understand the vulnerability of putting that desire out there (whether publicly like OJ or even to close family/friends) & suggesting ways that it might be possible (knowing you’ll be judged by some). Jack has no idea how lucky she is & has no idea how painful that topic is for some people. Desire to have a child can be a deep primal urge for some people (also normal for it not to be-desire to be childless is also normal). Comments like hers about SB are a dagger to the hearts of people who navigate a more difficult path to parenthood (and she has someone she knows is navigating that path mentioned in the bleeping tweet). Statements about her hatred of ‘adulting’, wanting SB to be away for periods of time & generally treating him like a nuisance are not only potentially damaging to her child but also potentially triggering for many people. She really needs to grow up and start being significantly more professional on her social media.

In essence, Jack needs to wake up and realise just how bloody lucky she is. Then maybe she’ll stop making ill thought out jokes about her son (who I have no doubt that she adores).

I agree totally that Jack is clueless here. Her cringeworthy overfamiliarity with Owen, e.g. casual referals to syncing schedules with SB's dad, doesn't treat this as a serious thing.

I highly doubt that she really wants to be a surrogate. She's just making things all about herself, and being incredibly awkward, as usual.