Devastated at the suggestion the Del Monte live is only going to be about 10 minutes long! How on earth is she going to make chicken plus answer all the probing tinned fruit questions in that time, when she could barely complete a potato salad on the Hellmann's live when she had a full hour?
Jack Monroe #165 She’s in a fugue state
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I think you mean plonkerbot dearheart.42 on Sunday. She can get to absolute duck calling 33 middle-aged.
Plonker.
39 was tit.
40 is turning out to be even more tit.
Last night was going to be a highlight of the decade.
She ruined that.
Like I said. Never forgotten.
Did I mention have a happy birthday Jack?
Happy birthday Jack! I hope u got some sleep, please enjoy your day then take a few hours to prep for 6pm.
Last night's tweets might also have solved the mystery of Jack's non-existent 'campaigning', I'm sure this is a very effective form of protest 
I have obviously led a very sheltered life
until I discovered these threads I had never seen 'food' that is unidentifiable, unappealing, unappetising and makes me feel very unwell
Tired: If I postpone my 'broadcast' with only a couple of hours notice (for REASONS), I can't be held responsible for the embarrassingly low viewing figures tomorrow.
Wired: If I keep telling people it's my birthday, maybe MORE people will show up to celebrate MEEEEE.
Inspired: If people don't show up to my live, I get to sadfish on twitter all night???
Wired: If I keep telling people it's my birthday, maybe MORE people will show up to celebrate MEEEEE.
Inspired: If people don't show up to my live, I get to sadfish on twitter all night???
FFS Jack just be grateful for once will you?! Especially when you think of the heartache Sarah Everard’s family are going through right now.
Wonder if she actually went to be last night (gap between tweeting seems to be between 11.29pm and 4.19am) orrrrr if she pulled and all-night pity party. Either way, today's going to be a wild ride.
i hope she shares all the wonderful, expensive gifts she's showered with today! Historically Jack has a pretty amazing track record with receiving gifts from her many many friends...
Still no sign of her retweeting her birthday tweet- scampering for more affirmation.
She has no strength to do longer, since the buzz cut 🥸
Channelling Samson??
She has no strength to do longer, since the buzz cut 🥸
some more sweet, sweet blue tick attention from this morning, mom's was in reply to the SB microwave nonsense
Oh Nigella
I like to think you want to see the good in people so you threw out some hearts on her birthday because of the pandering.
But encouraging this is not good.
I like to think you want to see the good in people so you threw out some hearts on her birthday because of the pandering.
But encouraging this is not good.
I keep forgetting she's only a couple years older than me. Push pops were lush (yet sticky) and the final bit was so sharp and jaggy on the tongue.
Hopefully her wee boy doesn't see her posts about everything being tit. My mum was quite depressed when I was in my early teens but my sister and I never knew until we were much older. However I definitely knew my way round the internet at 11 and that was early 00s so I'm guessing her wee boy would easily find her musings nowadays.
Hopefully her wee boy doesn't see her posts about everything being tit. My mum was quite depressed when I was in my early teens but my sister and I never knew until we were much older. However I definitely knew my way round the internet at 11 and that was early 00s so I'm guessing her wee boy would easily find her musings nowadays.
Lol at the Rev. Isn't her aware of her
She only has to give 9 minutes?! It’s not like it’s live bloody TV. Also the tweet saying about the “contractually obliged 9 minutes” was pure snark and I really wish companies would pull her up on how unprofessional she is.
Also, am 33
and definitely not middle aged. I hope.
Also, am 33
and definitely not middle aged. I hope.
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Sunday School Teacher Jack must be beside herself, its her Jesus year!
YES. Hahahaha. I was also thinking of 'Happy Birthday to Me' by Bright Eyes, which has the most Jack Monroe lyrics ever, rhyming THIS WASTED YEAR with DEVOTED FRIENDS DISAPPEAR. It was a bit too emo for me even when I was a teenage emo!Anybody else got ‘Unhappy Birthday’ by The Smiths as an ear worm this morning...?
Something more cheerful for you, Jack. It even features trains, site of a thousand chaoses.
Love your profile pic! That film
Genius. Sheer maverick genius.
She really does have talent towards turning edible things into non edible things. I'll give her that one cos it's her birthday
Lmaooooo on my 15th birthday I took a black and white selfie (on a camera, there were no smart phones back then) of me looking miserable in a party hat and posted it to my Deviantart with the lyrics to that song
- I think I hit peak emo that day, there was no topping it.(In my defence, Conor Oberst and I share the same birthday
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