Jack Monroe #165 She’s in a fugue state

[Cack Slumrow]

Yeah I feel a bit like that after being called a diseased, faceless bully addict.

Just piss off Jack, you’re not welcome here. You stop being a shameless, untruthful, self-pitying, ungrateful, grifting charlatan and we would have nothing to talk about. You choose to read here then cry about it on Twitter - carefully not mentioning the site by name in case people had a look and learned the truth about you. You are shameless.

Spend your birthday feeling sorry yourself or be grateful that many, many people don’t reach the age of 33.

I honestly cannot believe she thinks saying "chucking around pineapple tins" in a professional vid is some kind of "gotcha " to the cabal.
The best thing she could do with this site is to tell her excellent and brilliant Therapist and Psych to read through it.
And give her some feedback.
I have a feeling she may not find them so brilliant and excellent then.

 

[MarthaFarkus]

Anybody else got ‘Unhappy Birthday’ by The Smiths as an ear worm this morning...?

 

[Marj24]

Why is her food always so (adopts Kathy Burke as Waynetta Slob accent) BRAAAHN. So unappetising.

I think it's just science, I remember as a child trying to create new and exciting colours by mixing up everything on my paint palatte. The result? Brown!

Jack is the culinary equivalent of my childhood artist. Throwing the entire contents of her fridge into a pot and boiling it up without consideration to taste and texture. The result? Brown slop!

 

[Captainmouse]

Let’s hope she’s up early, she’s got her outfit to prepare

Courtesy of our resident artist

 

[Scarletfever]

She seems to have been on twitter until the early hours, so is sure to be on top form for the Del Monte gig later

The tweets from her publisher? I can only conclude she's surrounded by enablers.

 

[Cack Slumrow]

Anybody else got ‘Unhappy Birthday’ by The Smiths as an ear worm this morning...?

No, just "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to " on a loop!

 

[AnchovyPie]

I've taken Ambien known as Stilnoct in Ireland and they absolutely did cause memory loss and bizarre behaviour.
I had a whole text marathon with my sister and have absolutely no recollection of it at all.
It could legit be described as a 'fugue state'.
The only problem, if Jack were taking them, would be they aren't available in the UK.

They can be prescribed generically in England as Zolpidem but there's hardly anyone that takes them in my place any more (pharmacy frau)

 

[Vroo]

Isn’t it really telling how excited she gets about crisps/chocolate bars and not actual food.

Mel Donte, you’ve been had mate think I am even more excited for 6pm now.

Oh me too especially since Jack seems to have up late on Twitter and awake early on Twitter (no change from normal!) so softly and gently rested for the 9min event

eta @Scarletfever jinx

 

[kachoochoo]

happy jack's birthday one and all!




jack, quit whinging

 

[Marj24]

Oh me too especially since Jack seems to have up late on Twitter and awake early on Twitter (no change from normal!) so softly and gently rested for the 9min event

At least the new buzz cut means she won't have to spend any time doing her hair!

 

[Zelda]

I love Grace Dent. Her lockdown columns (she moved back up to Cumbria to care for her mother, who died recently) have been lovely. Very tender and truthful. I actually cheer when she turns up on Masterchef, pursing her lips in her Elsie Tanner get up.

And yes, she backed away from the Twitter coven and doesn’t use it that much now. There was gossip about some falling out, but my theory is that she just didn’t fit in with the smug yummy mummy types.

 

[Emmapism]

Oh happy day. I am three days from freedom and I get to laugh along with you lot later See you at 6-ish

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Not sure where this will land but just read that Elliot Page has had top surgery, wondering if Jackie will tell her tale of “I like girls babe” again.

 

[Legionnairess]

She seems to have been on twitter until the early hours, so is sure to be on top form for the Del Monte gig later

The tweets from her publisher? I can only conclude she's surrounded by enablers.

And this is why she is exhausted. She’s not bleeping over worked, schools are back. She’s addicted to SM. Step away from your technology and go for a bleeping walk Jack. Take some time out. You’ve no one else to blame for your exhaustion, so don’t blame the Canal...

 

[Scarletfever]

Jack didn't make any reference to the police bill demo she was so respectful of that she had to cancel Del Monte's live, or mention anything at all about Ash Sarkar's successful legal action against Julie Burchill for defamation.

Instead she tweeted bollocks about crisps and grumped about her birthday.

Says it all really about this so called "campaigner"

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate.

I don't think we do any of that? I mean there is some very funny teasing of her ridiculous behaviour but my family tease me about stuff, it's not abuse. We poke fun because she #gifts us the content and we call her out on her misrepresentations, inconsistencies and frankly unlikely stories (e.g puddle scarf)

Plus the number of times we say "I hope she's having therapy/ using her three therapists on speed dial/ she looks unwell" - there is genuine concern

But the wailing and the howling on social media is embarrassing.

#Notalioness.

 

[Legionnairess]

I love Grace Dent. Her lockdown columns (she moved back up to Cumbria to care for her mother, who died recently) have been lovely. Very tender and truthful. I actually cheer when she turns up on Masterchef, pursing her lips in her Elsie Tanner get up.

And yes, she backed away from the Twitter coven and doesn’t use it that much now. There was gossip about some falling out, but my theory is that she just didn’t fit in with the smug yummy mummy types.

I love Grace Dent too. I agree she felt she didn’t fit in with yummy mummy’s. She’s proper working class too but with an aspiring middle class mum. Her autobiography is brilliant. Had me laughing and sobbing in equal measure.

 

[I steal names]

View attachment 485815View attachment 485816

Grunking, but stopping quickly to say. FOR F's SAKE! Stop mangling potatoes. These pale, sweaty things aren't roast tatties.

 

[Satisfying Click]

I am itching at the way that not butter is "spread".

NotJack treats their sliced bread in exactly the same way

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I’m 50 in a few months and I consider this bang on middle aged. I SHAN’T be celebrating with a supermarket sandwich, even though I have a salaried job so could afford a rock hard too cold bagel.

42 on Sunday . She can get to absolute duck calling 33 middle-aged.

She's such a fun sponge. Cheer the duck up you miserable ninny, stop moaning and count your bloody blessings! Of which there are MANY.

Plonker.