Jack Monroe #165 She’s in a fugue state

[Billybellend]

You don’t have to watch, just tattle along

I don’t have Instagram, so I couldn’t watch even if I wanted to feel ALL the cringe Am BUSY most of today, but will (absolutely) dip in if I can!

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What the duck is that - I’m just about to have my breakfast and my stomach has threatened to rebel

 

[Malkiavelli]

I don’t have Instagram, so I couldn’t watch even if I wanted to feel ALL the cringe Am BUSY most of today, but will (absolutely) dip in if I can!


What the duck is that - I’m just about to have my breakfast and my stomach has threatened to rebel

That, my friend, is what a "literal food expert" eats for dinner...

 

[Billybellend]

Can you cook chicken in 9 minutes? Or are we salmonella bound?

Yes, absolutely. As long as it’s an ickle smol one.

 

[L3moning]

Can you cook chicken in 9 minutes? Or are we salmonella bound?

If its very small pieces of chicken you'd probably be okay.

 

[Captainmouse]

Now I don't expect Jack to suddenly turn into Pollyanna - but on the eve of her birthday could she not just reflect on how lucky she is in many ways? Healthy child, two living parents, nice house, bizarrely lucrative career, good relationship with her son's dad?
It's just moan moan crisps moan crisps moan my life is so tit.
No acknowledgement at all how lucky she is to have SB.
And could she approach her work commitment later any more grudgingly if she tried? Maybe relations between her and Mel Donte have soured so she feels free to be rude. Scales must be falling from their eyes rapidly.
And btw I resemble the remark I'm a 'faceless bully'. Any fule no I'm a lovely black and white cat

(Ooh it's after 12. Happy birthday smol scampering fizzing lioness )

What the gaslighting, grifting charlatan is having a birthday? as she keeps losing hers

 

[Boyo]

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Quickly updated label from Asda:

 

[colouredlines]

Jack's food choices when she is feeling bad really don't inspire me to buy Good Food for Bad Days.

 

[Captainmouse]

Presented with no comments

happy birthday JM here's one I saw earlier

For her, life appears to be one long duvet day

 

[SundaySchoolTeacher]

Happy birthday to the smol pixie.

I raided the Sunday School tuck cupboard and brought treats for everyone to share. Suitable for all - vegans and veganishes alike.

PS I am trying to lurk less and post a bit more and CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SENT A GIF TO THE CABAL. I am a genuine fangirl of the whole lot of you.

 

[colouredlines]

Will she make a birthday cake for herself? They say it can make you go blind, you know...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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Haha, bleeping hell. Poor Del Monte!

She really is a horror

And if she’s so not bothered about her birthday, why mention it in the video about rescheduling The tit Show 2021? “Bring your best birthday wishes everyone!”

 

[bladiesla]

Joke‘s on you Jack... I have a face!

"It's my pity party and I grift if I want to"

 

[waffle maker]

Is it 6pm yet?

 

[Fruitjack]

I’m 50 in a few months and I consider this bang on middle aged. I SHAN’T be celebrating with a supermarket sandwich, even though I have a salaried job so could afford a rock hard too cold bagel.

 

[Marj24]

After Jack sharing that 'roast potato' and gravy sandwich, I can understand why a supermarket meal deal sarnie may be considered a treat by her

 

[Cack Slumrow]

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I am itching at the way that not butter is "spread".

 

[Vanelope]

If Caroline has hands I think we can have faces

I always thought bullying was when you did horrible things to a person. We don’t go and harass her on her socials or in real life. She could forget this place existed and maybe not read it any more as she is unlikely to ever enjoy the conversation.

 

[bladiesla]

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What a sadness sandwich. To each their own, but according to herself she's a literal food expert. How is this going to get you new work? Even the picture is horrible, to colours make it look drained from all life. Does she hate food and her carreer?

 

[Flash123]

Will she make a birthday cake for herself? They say it can make you go blind, you know...

No, because she hasn’t pushed herself..... oh, that’s what u meant!

 

[veryfondoftea]

The rainbow butterdish is from Asda (I has one but I keep trinkets in mine)

But why not tampons?

it’s not my birthday until august but I’m tempted to try the Jack way of responding to people saying ‘happy birthday’ to me as an experiment and see how many friends I’m left with after. Hypothesis: none.