Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[PoorPatrol]

I came to these threads after the Daily Kitchen episodes. Have just downloaded and watched the infamous lasagne one. I have no words for that sauce (apart from the obvious ones)

The words you’re looking for are ‘horse’ and ‘spunk’. Just say what you see, say what you see

 

[Mel Donte]

Thread title suggestion for any Red Dwarf fans in the room:

Yet another shameless beg, proving herself to be a right Smeg-head

 

[PoorPatrol]

Ok so I’m still watching Daily Kitchen. Husband walked in while Jack was making her Chinese chicken curry and said “that looks delicious”. Is it worth trying (substituting something veggie for the chicken) or shall I just divorce him?

Ditch him, but keep the cursed engagement ring in a box, next to your original Tracey Emin.

 

[no-no]

On a similar note, the Alpro soya custard is delicious! I could happily drink it straight from the tub.

I got this recently and DO drink it straight from the carton! Well, squeeze it love your username, nom.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

I got this recently and DO drink it straight from the carton! Well, squeeze it love your username, nom.

Marmite and soya custard, still a better combo than tinned peaches and curry powder!

 

[PoorPatrol]

We must always be court-ready, at any moment in time! Deep research at all times, outfits ready to go, posters full of legal advice and @LennyBriscoe tirelessly pounding the streets looking for perps (sorry Lenny, always dragging you in but I lurrve the Dick Wolf universe... — every time I see you post I hear the little double note scene change music...)

This is @LennyBriscoe in my head ALL the time. Pounding the mean streets, shaking down scumbags to the punchy theme music Every time a Lenny comment pops up, I do a little Family Guy style sidebar in my head and the music plays

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Do it! The block version is brilliant too. Also for other veegs/plant curious people the Violife feta is delicious. Not sharp and crumbly like sheep feta but rich and creamy like a gooey goat’s cheese. I really feel that JM has missed out on the delight in finding alternatives and being creative that being vegan gives you. Oh, and CoYo! That stuff makes me .

* runs to buy Violife feta....

Cheese is the only thing I miss being vegan so I am very excited to try this. Desperate to find a really tasty vegan cheddar.

 

[lipsticktaser]

I love Grayson Perry and disappointed to see his wife commented on a JM post

They fit her demographic perfectly. Lefty luvvies with plenty of money. They think backing her is helping the poor. They can live their socialist views through her.
I am well aware I am a champagne socialist with my daughter in private school and a house with more bedrooms than I need. I own it though. I had a hard time from the ages of 15-18 including homelessness, teenage pregnancy and as I've mentioned before my MH. I am not that person. I can be empathetic to the cause and I want other people to move on like I have. But I have no shame at saying I don't want it to be at the expense of me and my daughter. I want state schools to be the standard and think fee paying schools should be abolished. BUUUT State school was crap for my daughter and was making her ill. She is my priority over my political and social leanings.
I am her demographic (well significantly less wealthy as Nigella and the Freuds) . Someone who is relatively comfortable who thinks oh this is going to help the foodbanks raise awareness of economic and food disparity in this country.
Remember the token black. She is playing the part of the token pauper.
Jack is stuck. She has had no growth. She's spent so much time jumping from thing to thing she hasn't built any skills to further her career.

 

[Okab15]

Well, when my last fridge freezer broke I was debating whether to replace it with the pink or green smeg - a common dilemma for us poors.

However, I simply couldn't decide so I ended up going with logik.

We got one at start of lockdown and are impressed. I figured a fridge is a fridge and it was right size for space and so reasonable etc.

 

[Bobtheknob]

Real subtle, Jack

Why does she need to get a new fridge when the one that has ‘died’ is less than a year old so still under guarantee. What a blatant scrounge for a free fridge. Still, despite being a best selling author she is still poor.

 

[J4n0Z]

We got one at start of lockdown and are impressed. I figured a fridge is a fridge and it was right size for space and so reasonable etc.

Exactly - it does the job!

 

[Flumps]

They fit her demographic perfectly. Lefty luvvies with plenty of money. They think backing her is helping the poor. They can live their socialist views through her.

I always feel like this is the sort of socialism a lot of the more luvvy lefties prefer. Pretty, well-spoken, espousing the right views, photogenic poor people. They feel comfortable with it and it doesn't really challenge in the way more entrenched and less pleasant to look at realities of poverty does.

 

[Betty Neumar]

* runs to buy Violife feta....

Cheese is the only thing I miss being vegan so I am very excited to try this. Desperate to find a really tasty vegan cheddar.

The Violife Cheddar block is pretty good for sandwiches... but shhhhhhh, here’s where all the special stuff is: https://shop.lafauxmagerie.com/

I reckon the Shamenbert is pretty much indistinguishable from the real thing.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

The Violife Cheddar block is pretty good for sandwiches... but shhhhhhh, here’s where all the special stuff is: https://shop.lafauxmagerie.com/

I reckon the Shamenbert is pretty much indistinguishable from the real thing.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

We must always be court-ready, at any moment in time! Deep research at all times, outfits ready to go, posters full of legal advice and @LennyBriscoe tirelessly pounding the streets looking for perps (sorry Lenny, always dragging you in but I lurrve the Dick Wolf universe... — every time I see you post I hear the little double note scene change music...)

I was born ready!! I am ready to stake out, find evidence and determined to get justice at any cost! Sneak peak of me after our Court victory

 

[Breakdance Badass]

They fit her demographic perfectly. Lefty luvvies with plenty of money. They think backing her is helping the poor. They can live their socialist views through her.
I am well aware I am a champagne socialist with my daughter in private school and a house with more bedrooms than I need. I own it though. I had a hard time from the ages of 15-18 including homelessness, teenage pregnancy and as I've mentioned before my MH. I am not that person. I can be empathetic to the cause and I want other people to move on like I have. But I have no shame at saying I don't want it to be at the expense of me and my daughter. I want state schools to be the standard and think fee paying schools should be abolished. BUUUT State school was crap for my daughter and was making her ill. She is my priority over my political and social leanings.
I am her demographic (well significantly less wealthy as Nigella and the Freuds) . Someone who is relatively comfortable who thinks oh this is going to help the foodbanks raise awareness of economic and food disparity in this country.
Remember the token black. She is playing the part of the token pauper.
Jack is stuck. She has had no growth. She's spent so much time jumping from thing to thing she hasn't built any skills to further her career.

Oh I know they do, I totally get what you’re saying, but I do love him!! Know when you get that pang of being let down when someone you like, likes someone you know is a rat?

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Ditch him, but keep the cursed engagement ring in a box, next to your original Tracey Emin.

Funnily enough my engagement ring was made from the diamond from a previous engagement ring, small diamonds from a previous eternity ring and gold from an old wedding ring. I have a complicated romantic history

 

[LennyBriscoe]

BREAKING! After 'loss of taste' is added to the list of Coronavirus symptoms, the government advises self-isolation for anyone who has recently cooked a recipe of JM's.

 

[Madamex]

The first time I heard her speak was on Russell brands podcast. Then more recently on the daily kitchen. On the podcast she mentioned being ill and she sounded like her nose was blocked. I found it hard to listen to as it makes me want to vom. Then on daily kitchen she sounded the same again. Was she ill then too or is that how she always sounds? If so she could have a constant blocked nose and be unable to smell or taste?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

@Bellybutton lint called it. The hustle is as real as the nose on my face.

Oi, Monroe - keep your filthy depressipes off my silky depressive tendencies.

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“I know my publisher and I have been in talks”??? That doesn’t even make sense!!