Could you imagine being her line manager? She is such a know it all, been there, done that, can't tell me anything.
That's before you start on the ailments, accidents, bolshy attitudes, stroppy nature, taking offence, failing to meet deadlines, excuses, needing daytime dino naps, having to praise her for everything, etc etc.
There would be so many complaints about the mean old woman on the next desk (if it were anywhere near me);
'She told me I should stop eating things that make my lips swell up!'
'She told me that I shouldn't put topical medications that cause skin irritation on irritated skin!'
'She told me that it's not safe to take multiple versions of medications in the same group at once!'
'She said she couldn't see any bald spots and my hair looked lovely and healthy when I told her my hair was falling out!'
'She suggested I wrote a draft and proofread it before sending it out, when everybody knows I'm the One And Done person!'
'She said my house was lovely when I RENT IT!'
'She asked me how my holiday was when I NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY!'
'She told me not to ask her to lend me any money when I'M STARVING and pointed out that my bag of makeup from Boots that I brought back from lunch yesterday would have covered what I was asking her to lend me'
'She said that rearranging my desk and pens and post it notes was great, but the report was due in this afternoon, so it might be a plan to get that out of the way first!'
'She said 'That was my allergen free meal' when the meeting buffet only had meat, fish, dairy, vegan and her allergy friendly serving was in the fridge. How can she target me like that for taking the only thing she could eat when I'm the only one with dietary considerations?'
'SHE SUGGESTED I SOFTENED ONIONS BEFORE ADDING OTHER INGREDIENTS!'
'She's obviously picking on me because of my tattoos/gayness/queerness/I'm poor/I went to grammar school/feminine aesthetic/masculine aesthetic'
'SHE LOOKED AT ME OVER THE TOP OF HER GLASSES AND SIGHED!!!!!!! I'M BEING TARGETED!'
