Jack Monroe #151 A morally destitute and blatantly mendacious fraud?

[PortiaControl]

Anybody fancy some 'Donald' biscuits??

Grunking so apologies if someone has already said this, but domino biscuits?!?! You mean those ones where she bought ready made shortbread fingers and added ready made icing and decorations to the top?! She's putting the "recipe" for that in her book? She is desperate!!! All this stuff has already been seen by everyone. She's clearly not got the content for this at all. Chucking in stuff from everywhere. I'm finding it really stressful and it's not even me writing it!!

Edit: Yes it has already been said by so many of you. Must fully grunk before posting!

 

[colouredlines]

Churros are traditionally vegan anyway, NotJack you fool. "I'm making vegan churros" is a bit like "I'm making vegan bread"

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 442214View attachment 442215

Nothing she makes looks fresh. I like my salads to look crisp, fresh and edible, not something covered in horse jizz, custard and creosote with a sprinkling of brick dust.

 

[KebabGirl]

Anyone want to start a book on which podcast she'll be on tomorrow?
Jack babe, can you tweet it early as my calendar is busier in the afternoon?

That wall. Wow. I haven't written a book but I have been in involved in many projects at all levels. It's not the same but many principles are the same. One epic project lasted close to 2 years in total and if any of us turned up to any meeting with that shower of we would have been (rightly) fired. She'd not want to be working for me if that was her "plan"

 

[kachoochoo]

it's bugging me that I can't work out which room she's made into the War Room. she moved SB into the 3rd bedroom so she could repurpose his room as an office, yes? so, has she moved stuff around the new office yet again? cos it looks completely different.

and why do you need 5 chairs round a massive table like it's a smol conference room? when you're self-employed and work alone?

once again, I am asking whyyyyy, jack, whyyyyyyy?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

@Captainmouse her meals are HEAVY, ok???

 

[HotesTilaire]

I hate the ooooft. It’s soooooo Partridge. Back of the net!

Who eats 12 vegan balls for lunch when it’s just you and a kid?

 

[Harrybosch]

I've triangulated her honey cake before we've even seen it.

Honey cake recipe

Try James Martin's super easy honey cake recipe for a bee-autiful afternoon tea. The honey you use will have quite an impact on the flavour of the cake.

www.google.com

 

[Mr Krabs]

I see a note 'juice from tins'. Ruh roh. That's going to be the non-alcoholic mulled wine isn't it? Or maybe some sort of tit mocktail.

The 'conference room' reminds me of when Alan Partridge tries to hold a meeting in his half-built home...

That garden set up is expensive! I wanted one of those egg-shaped chair things and the cheapest I could find was about £250-300. Plus two brand new tents, a gas BBQ that looks new out of the box and the tastefully mixed and matched garden table and chairs. That's got to cost more than a festival ticket.

 

[Pixieboots]

every time she says gorgonzola semi freddo with desiccated olive and grape I can hear Alan Patridge say it in my head SO perfectly

I hear it as Hyacinth Bucket talking about one of her famed candlelight suppers. Served on the Royal Doulton china with the hand-painted periwinkles, naturally.

 

[HotesTilaire]

B&M have bargain egg chairs for under £200. It wasn’t those ones.

 

[Pocahontas]

Her avocado salad is clearly an homage to those hazy Hellmann’s live days.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I don't think that NotJack is Jack after the photo of the keyboard, it was an old pc keyboard and our Jackie likes shiny new tech.

Which is EXACTLY why Jack places it there...

 

[bowiethesdmn]

The 'conference room' reminds me of when Alan Partridge tries to hold a meeting in his half-built home

That scene is a good metaphor for Jack's 'career' as a whole

 

[Harrybosch]

Her avocado salad is clearly an homage to those hazy Hellmann’s live days. View attachment 442743

Eye of Sauron Jack is my favourite Jack.

 

[CuriousCat92]

I must confess that in my ‘that Jack Monroe is alright’ days I tried tinned potatoes several ways. They exploded when I roasted them and, honestly, I would rather live without mash than only have mashed tinned potatoes (& I bloody love mash).

Me too. Those mashed tinned potatoes were an abomination.

 

[MancBee]

@Captainmouse her meals are HEAVY, ok???View attachment 442720

The size of the unpeeled avocado (cut through the wrong way I have to say) cherry tomatoes and olives gives an indication of size. She must have a totally different idea of what a big meal is than what I call a big meal. It is not a full avocado either, I can only see half.

 

[sioc]

However, the only squiggles who give her any food related attention now (angry viggles aside) are the ones who have to ask what to do with a banana when they find one in their fruit bowl..

This has actually sent me, has to be a way to shorten it into a thread title surely!

(Answer of course is far more likely to be bung it in a curry than consider eating it, possibly on some toast)

Edit: #jackslockdownlarder, I found this banana in my fruit bowl, what should I do?

 

[Shawads]

And this part of your post * the original JM* is the oxymoron of the day

I wasn't even trying to be ironic

 

[Peachy9]

View attachment 442221
Hey, she’s found her niche. This is likely the title of the book too. It’s all been building up to this, guys!

That green one at the top is a recipe for cabbage and pasta. With feta. That's it.

That's not a recipe is that how desperate this book is becoming? Literally just pulling things from the fridge and cupboards and plopping them on a plate?
(she says... As though I haven't heard of Jack's work before )